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kheredia's avatar

Do you think people change because they truly want to or do you think they change because of the consequences if they don't?

Asked by kheredia (5561points) May 31st, 2009

I had this discussion with one of my friends the other day. He says people don’t change unless they have a good enough reason to change (meaning consequences). I say people change because they want a better outcome of their lives or because they think about the wellbeing of their family.

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9 Answers

lillycoyote's avatar

I’m not sure if it’s really an either/or situation. People might change for either of the reasons you mention or because they experience things that change them, and/or learn things over the course of their lives that leads them to make different, hopefully better choices than they might have in the past. And sometimes people change for the worse, I think, and for the same reasons.

Darwin's avatar

It is actually either, or, and both. Some folks may change because they know, for example, that if they get to work late one more time they will be jobless. Other folks change because they want to be better at something or please someone, such as someone who tries to remember to use please and thank you in order to make his girlfriend feel as if he cares.. And some people change because they are tired of negative consequences and want to better their lives and those of their families. This last group contains most of the mature people, those who are adults and realize that their actions affect the path their lives follow as well as how their family and friends view them.

And then there are those who change for the worse because of outside influences, internal choices, or both.

augustlan's avatar

It often depends on what stage of life a person is in, too. The younger (or less mature) you are, the more likely you are to change to avoid negative consequences. The older (or more mature) you are, the likelier you are to change for internal reasons.

YARNLADY's avatar

It’s both. You can desire to be better than you are now, and therefore change, or you do not want to experience the consequences and must change.

wundayatta's avatar

Aren’t they both the same thing? A good reason is a good reason. There are consequences to every action.

Perhaps you mean change to avoid something vs change to achieve something? Although, each can be seen the other way around, too. If I am avoiding harm, I am seeking to achieve safety. If I want more money, I am avoiding poverty. I guess it all depends on how you think about it. Perhaps you think more positively, and your friend thinks more negatively. You know: glass half full or half empty.

Blondesjon's avatar

No true change occurs unless the person in question honestly wants to change.

Changing to avoid consequence is a cheat and destined to fail.

galileogirl's avatar

I don’t think people really change after they are mature. You may change specific behaviors but over the long term you ARE the same person.

For example, you see people who are substance abusers who get clean. Often they switch addictions or become super vigilent about other people’s addictions. They just can’t change behavior and move on.

As far as age goes, I think we become more pronounced in our character as we grow older. We don’t change.

CMaz's avatar

Change would mean being something else. We always carry with us what we experienced and hopefully learned. I would prefer to say we evolve.
Some people see the word “change” as being “forced” to be someone else in order to please others. There by not being true to yourself. (We are such an insecure race) So they refuse to see the evolution and advantage of it.

stephiiee94's avatar

i think people change because its in their best intrest to change, but i think it depends on the situation.

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