General Question

psyla's avatar

In your relationship, are you the car or the driver?

Asked by psyla (2544points) June 1st, 2009 from iPhone

If being in a relationship with another person was compared to the relationship between a car and its driver, would you be the car or would you be the driver of the car?

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32 Answers

Lightlyseared's avatar

Sometimes I’m the car sometimes I’m the driver.

YARNLADY's avatar

That type of question doesn’t fit my relationship. We are hand in hand, in step with each other, and on the same wavelength, but no way, car and driver. That implies one person is in charge of the other, or one is somehow dependent on the other, which is no where near our partnership.

La_chica_gomela's avatar

it’s more of a partnership. in my relationships, we’re more like equals than a human and a non-human or a ‘user’ and a ‘used’. we both depend on each other, not always one or the other.

Aethelwine's avatar

I’m the car. My husband jumps in and goes for a joy ride. :)

shilolo's avatar

The tires are the things on your car
That make contact with the road
The car is the thing on the road
That takes you back to your abode

The tires are the things on your car
That make contact with the road
Bummed is what you are
When you go out to your car and it’s been towed

I woke up one morning in November
And I realized I love you
It’s not your headlights in front
Your tailpipe, or the skylight above you
It’s the way you cling to the road
When the wind tries to shove you
I’d never go driving away
And come back home without you


augustlan's avatar

We are co-drivers and passengers both. The car is life. :)

chelseababyy's avatar

He may wear the pants, but I control the zipper.

Bluefreedom's avatar

Sometimes I’m the chauffeur when things aren’t going as smoothly as they should be. It’s kind of like being on the outside looking in and hoping for a quick fix. All other times, I like to think of myself as the driver but she’s really the one in charge. At least that’s the safe way of stating it. I’m a dependable car that gets her wherever she needs to go and in a safe manner.

whatthefluther's avatar

Greetings, @psyla…long time no see. Re your question (and I must say, its a typical wild psyla question): I guess it depends on mood. @sccrowell is a big fan of powerful muscle cars that roar and bite, so if that’s the mood, I’ll let her drive. I prefer sleek and sexy exotic cars that purr and scream like a Lamborghini and I’ll want to be behind the wheel. Of course we like to share everything so you can count on driver changes periodically, especially on very long drives! Great question, psyla, I hope to see more of you around these parts…wtf

psyla's avatar

In cases where the car is the relationship itself, is the current driver the one who is currently speaking?

Excellent poem @shilolo! The tires touching the road would be the stability of the relationship, constant except when airborn.

No stickshift jokes, but one zipper joke….

@whatthefluther one thing that can easily be predicted is the unpredictable.

Does anyone feel, like I do at times, as more of a horse than a car?

Aethelwine's avatar

@psyla Nope. not Amish

psyla's avatar

A car, like a relationship, is an extension of ourselves. When driving, you are your car. Cars may be “tools”, but tools are also extensions of ourselves. I have no control issues with my car, and aren’t we all a bit “nonhuman” now & again?

La_chica_gomela's avatar

um, i don’t know what science experiments you do in your closet when no one’s around, but i pretty much stay a human…

and why would you have control issues with a car? it doesn’t have feelings.

Bobbydavid's avatar

We ride a dual control vehicle

psyla's avatar

Why then do many languages, such as French or Spanish, personify objects as male or female? Wouldn’t the reverse also be possible? If humans personify objects, can we not depersonify ourselves? Too much personality can be unhealthy. It is sometimes wise to be bland. Like a Chevrolet.

DarkScribe's avatar

I’m the back seat. ;)

dynamicduo's avatar

Most times I’m the driver. Sometimes I’m the passenger. No one is ever the car, the car is a tool we use to traverse our relationship.

whatthefluther's avatar

@psyla…Unequivocally maybe, and thus the very reason no matter who is under the hood, behind the wheel or stuffed in the trunk, we affectionately call our car, make and model notwithstanding, “Christine.”

Jude's avatar

Most of the time I be “driving Miss Daisy”, but, that gets tiresome, you know? I love it for when once and awhile my partner takes over the wheel..

Kiev749's avatar

both, roles can interchange as needed to maintain a healthy relationship.

TaoSan's avatar

I’m the bug that just crashed into the windshield…

DarkScribe's avatar

@TaoSan I’m the bug that just crashed into the windshield…

That reminds me. What do you think would be the last thing to go through a bug’s mind when it crashes into a windshield?

spresto's avatar

I am the car who is about to drive over all of you unfortunately losers desperate and hopeful for anything.

Blondesjon's avatar

Actually, I am the escaped prisoner and she is the warden’s wife.

We do the car & driver thing on Wednesdays.

psyla's avatar

What part is the steering wheel? I can usually figure out where the gas pedal, rear view mirror with fuzzy dice, and parking brake is, but I never know where the steering wheel is. When I’m a horse, it’s my hair, but when I’m a car, forget it, I don’t know.

YARNLADY's avatar

I noticed this exact same question on another Q & A site. Is this an example of the “stealing” that is in the blog?

psyla's avatar

No, I just invented it because sometimes I feel like a workhorse. It’s not a particularly impressive question, surely not worth stealing to impress others. If anything, this sort of question will make others think I’m a boring drunken sot.

I think the reason you’re seeing it in 2 places is because it’s such a boring thought than any numbskull, like me, off the street could have thought of it. There are just so few creative minds in the world. Maybe that’s why almost all TV shows look like they were made for subhuman’s entertainment.

Yet, I must add that all the responders to this question have written creative comments which shows that Fluther contains more creative people than is found in the general populace.

whatthefluther's avatar

@psyla…Steering wheel? Ears work well for us….you might give them a try. And psyla, remember this: for a happy and healthy relationship, always wear your seat belt, recycle your used motor oil and never, ever shift your transmission into reverse while going 80 mph (unless, of course, it is a rental car). See ya….wtf

CMaz's avatar

I am the Motor.

psyla's avatar

@whatthefluther of course, ears! I knew they had some sexual purpose beyond use for listening to all those sex noises. Thanks, I’ll have to stop pulling on the hair & use the ears. The hair is reserved for when you’re a horse.

whatthefluther's avatar

Well of course I’m a horse, but with things called wings. Come fly the friendly skies (ear plugs available upon request)

psyla's avatar

Sounds fun! But earplugs? You must be very loud. Can they hear you at the end of the street? That’s really loud. I would pass out earplugs to all the neighbors before having sex.

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