Here you go:
It’s called “Love in The Time of Methane”
Written by the least talented 2 of the 6 guys who wrote the Scary Movie films, Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer, “geniuses” behind Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans, etc.
Directed by Michael Bay
Produced by Jerry Bruckheimer
Narrated by Gilbert Goddfried
Starring:
Keanu Reeves as the world’s smartest man
Eddie Murphy as 8 fat, black characters
Martin Lawrence as the other 7 fat, black characters
Susan Boyle as the hot young temptress whose sexual appetites know no boundaries
Larry the Cable Guy as the suave, debonair young aristocrat who sweeps Boyle off her feet
Garry Shandling, Ray Romano, Fran Dresher and Jennifer Tilly as the world’s best vocal quartet
Michael Cera as the world’s most excitable man
Clay Aiken as the terrible womanizer
Andrew Dice Clay as the sensitive preacher who is making a difference
Britney Spears and Matthew McConaughey as the brilliant scientists racing against time to save the world
Pauly Shore and Tom Arnold as the two no-nonsense college professors
Paula Poundstone as the world’s funniest woman
Corey Feldman as God
Corey Haim as Jesus
Willem DaFoe as the babysitter
Music by Biz Markie
Costume design by Bjork.
Synopsis/Tagline (cue announcer voice)
In a world where the ozone layer is being destroyed by the farts of fat black people, two young lovers must enlist the help of the world’s smartest man to help convince a pair of brilliant young scientists that time is running out.
Plot Summary:
Sir Reginald Copperbottom (Larry the Cable Guy), and his best friend Bobby (Aiken), are two hot young studs who can have their pick of women, much to the chagrin of their over-excitable best bud Clyde (Cera). One day while attending a concert by his favorite vocal group the Unsuckables (Shandling, Romano, Dresher & Tilly), he meets Melanie (Boyle), a woman whose sexual appetites seem to be unquenchable. Within minutes, the young lovers are engaged in some of the most graphic sex you’ve ever seen in mainstream cinema. What follows is a 25 minute montage of their “lost month”, and it includes several scenes that defy description…such as the four way with two random sex addicts (cameos by John Goodman and Steve Buscemi). What finally gets them out of the house is when, after another four way with a couple of fat, black women (Murphy, Lawrence in fat suits), their ozone air purifier breaks due to all of the farts released by their sex partners. While they are driving to the Brookstone to buy a replacement, they hear an announcement on the radio offering up a pair of free tickets to see the world’s funniest comedienne Julie (Poundstone). Melanie calls and wins the tickets.
We go back one year earlier to see Poundstone attending classes at the prestigious Snobmore Academy, where her uptight Science Professor (Shore) has begun to teach his class about a theory he had developed in tandem with the only other Professor in the school more uptight than him (Arnold). It involved the farts of fat, black people depleting the Ozone layer, which made Julie laugh uncontrollably, resulting in her expulsion at the request of the two professors and the even more uptight Dean (cameo by Ozzy Osbourne). Julie, no longer able to pursue her education is at a crossroads, and seeks spiritual advice from the timid and sensitive preacher (Clay) who makes a real difference in her life when he suggests she tell jokes for a living.
Fast forward to present day, Reginald and Melanie are having a great time at the comedy show, when Julie starts telling her signature joke about how fat black people farts are destroying the ozone layer. While the audience laughs, Reginald and Melanie realize that this must indeed actually be true, given the incident with their air purifier, and they must put aside their sexual appetites to try to save the world . Reginald, being a philanthropist, has connections to the scientific community, and contacts a couple of very learned scientists Cassandra and Jim (Spears and McConaughey) who don’t believe him. Not knowing where else to turn, he and Melanie decide to get roaring drunk and have sloppy sex in the parking lot, but on their way to the car, Reginald slips on a pile of puke and bangs his head. While he’s unconscious, he is visited by God and Jesus (Feldman and Haim), who tell him to seek out the world’s smartest man, Daniel (Reeves). They set out on a quest which involves several unnecessary car chases and explosions. They find Reeves who conducts a number of experiments involving over a dozen fat black people (Murphy, Lawrence) and copious amounts of refried beans in what is billed as perhaps the longest extended farting scene in the history of cinema.
Daniel must drop his daughter (Dakota Fanning) off at the babysitter (DaFoe) and race to find Casssandra and Jim so they can save the world from the menace of fat black people farts, a race which involves several more car crashes and explosions. Will the Earth’s atmosphere survive long enough for Reginald and Melanie to get to their three way with the fat, naked guy from Borat?
Composing members:
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Composing members:
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