General Question

AnnieOakley's avatar

How do you tell the difference between "love" and a "crush"?

Asked by AnnieOakley (237points) June 3rd, 2009

And…if it is a crush or even a love you shouldn’t have, how do you get over it quickly?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

32 Answers

BBSDTfamily's avatar

Remind yourself of why you shouldn’t have it, or why it isn’t right for you. What always helps me is realizing that I can do better, and I find strength to move on. First and foremost, you have to love yourself enough to have confidence to walk away and know you will find happiness in the future.

Jeruba's avatar

One big clue is if the feeling is about someone you don’t actually know personally. It is possible to be in love with someone with whom you don’t have any relationship at all, but it’s not easy.

YARNLADY's avatar

The main difference is how long it lasts. A crush is over in a short time, and love lasts longer.

loser's avatar

I think that a “crush” is what initially draws people together. Love is something that develops after time.

Dansedescygnes's avatar

I’ve wondered about this a little too, because at first I just kept thinking what I felt for a certain friend as a “crush” and then I realized that after feeling that way for a long time that it was something more than that, especially since that feeling grew a lot stronger this past year. I think I really do love this guy. But, as I will not be attending college with him and he is most likely not homosexual, I don’t expect anything to become of that. I agree with what other people have said, a crush is an initial attraction, love develops over time.

@hungryhungryhortence That is an interesting quiz. I scored a 68 and it said I am in the “early stages of love”…I guess it’s true, then. :)

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

ooh…ahhh… forbidden love. Getting over that is reminding yourself there can be no expectation, no demands, no timeline, it just is what is for however long you enjoyed it. Sucks but hopefully the tidbits are/were worth it

Myndecho's avatar

There are no check lists, as some people have pointed out it’s can be about how long it lasts, it doesn’t matter how you fell towards them but even more how they feel about you.
Crushes are normally based on looks and you hyping the feeling in your head, imagine this person, but this time she/he is very ugly would you still want to go out with them? Does this person like you in the same way you like them?

DarkScribe's avatar

You still think that she’s cute after the sex? Once the hormones are back in their box.

pikipupiba's avatar

Give it t-t-t-t-t-time!

FrankHebusSmith's avatar

A crush leads to love…. What you want to tell the difference between is largely physical attraction and actual emotional/relationship attraction.

And your answer to that…. Ask yourself this question…. If I couldn’t kiss/have sex with/make out with/whatever with this person… Could I still have a good time with them?

swtsally's avatar

crush is when you can live without the person. love is when you cant. i mean you CAN but you would rather not live without the person you love.

as for getting over them…crushes are easy to get over. you just find someone for love….getting over someone you love really depends on the person. it just takes time really.

CMaz's avatar

A crush (lust) is here and now. Superficial.
Love is when your significant other farts and you roll over and fall to sleep.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I don’t know
I never had trouble differentiating
Love hits you in your solar plexus, in your brain, in your nervous system

A crush makes you wet down there only
but love gives you an all over shower

CMaz's avatar

Oooooo I like that! An all over shower, want to go to dinner? ;-)

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@ChazMaz but I don’t know you at all

CMaz's avatar

Well, this is a good start. One step at a time. :-)

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@ChazMaz there are gonna have to be MANY steps in between before you can get me

CMaz's avatar

That is just the way I like it! You are smart and wise.
Qualities I find very appealing in a person and that opportunity should be earned. :-)

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@ChazMaz so what are you appealing qualities?

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

notice @ChazMaz above getting a crush

CMaz's avatar

See, now that is something to talk over dinner about. :-)
I do believe I am having a crush! ;-)

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@ChazMaz and how old are you, ChazMaz?

CMaz's avatar

A perfect 45.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@ChazMaz a ‘perfect’ 45? you don’t have to qualify your age, yes? it would be the oldest I’ve been with

CMaz's avatar

I don’‘t have to. But is it. Hmmmm, the oldest you have been with. So there is a chance? ;-)

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@ChazMaz there’s always a chance albeit a slim one

CMaz's avatar

I’ll take that. ;-) It is at least nice to get to know you.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@ChazMaz I think we’ve taken over the thread enough – you should communicate with me via pm now if you want

AnnieOakley's avatar

I took the quiz suggested above – the results are:

Your score is 75. Lucky duck you’re in love! Your feelings are deep, true and firmly routed in reality but best of all they are returned. Hold on to these happy feelings and enjoy being in love, it’s one of the best feelings there is!

Unfortunately, I am married to someone else – LOL – Guess that will be a basis for another question to the great “collective”.

calvinette's avatar

When you see him walk through the door and your stomach does the flippety-flop, that’s a crush. After you are with him for a time, ask yourself if you’d be willing to take care of him when he is truly ill, i.e., help him go to the bathroom, and all the stuff that makes up real life. If your answer is a resounding yes, that’s love. Love is action, not a feeling.

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