General Question

CMaz's avatar

This is a ladies question. Do you Orgasm?

Asked by CMaz (26238points) June 5th, 2009

I am sure the guys will chime in too.
I believe and read some time back that only 40% of women orgasm. My reasoning is that 60% of women are not given enough time to enjoy the experience themselves. Some guys tend to, get on, get off. Go to bed.
Some men, are useless after they pop their cork or lack the self control to hold back on the grand finally. This has been told to me by other women. You ladies are stuck with what you got. Over time, you do not develop or even know how to orgasm. For me, if you do not orgasm what good is it. I like to be pleased, but I also like to please. Part of my satisfaction is from you being satisfied. What do you think?
Would like to get the final say?

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57 Answers

dynamicduo's avatar

Do I ever. Although I do admit, I can bring myself to orgasm much more easily than my male partner can bring me to one. That said, when he makes me have one, it’s a much different orgasm than the one I make myself have. This is likely because he gives me G-spot orgasms (a spot in the vagina) whereas I give myself clitoral orgasms.

I was orgasming well before I started havng relations with other people, so your second paragraph doesn’t really apply here. Though I do note, my partner doesn’t always give me orgasms when we have penetrative sex. I’m perfectly fine with this, if I really need an orgasm I’ll have one myself.

Likeradar's avatar

Yes, but not nearly every time.
It’s different for a woman (or most women, I suppose). Sex can be very, very satisfying even without an orgasm. Often, the orgasm is just icing on a very delicious cake.

casheroo's avatar

I actually do orgasm. And I believe the majority of women I talk to about sex have not actually orgasmed, and exaggerate it.

I started having sex young, at 14. It wasn’t until I was 19 that I had my first orgasm given to me by someone other than myself.
Coincidentally, I was on vacation with my boyfriend (now husband) when he gave me my first orgasm of our sexual relationship. He had asked me to marry him prior to this, and I told him I needed more time. After seeing that we have perfect sexual chemistry, as well as emotionally, I knew he was the one. There was no way I was marrying a man that couldn’t make me orgasm.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I believe that you might be referring to vaginal orgasms vs clitoral orgasms – I think a lot less people with vaginas experience the former and a lot more experience the latter

In terms of my orgasms, I orgasm once or twice per sex session and we have 1–3 of those a day

casheroo's avatar

@Likeradar It doesn’t happen for me every time either, it’s very mental for me and I need to quite long sessions for it to occur. My husband is always willing to try though. haha

Bocci's avatar

this is a bit of a random contribution but I once read somewhere that 2% of the female population can have an orgasm just by thinking about it. My stats aren’t perfect but I read it recently and I remember it being an incredibly small percent.

Supacase's avatar

I thought I had, but I realized when I had my first vaginal orgasm (which is completely different) at age 26 that I was very, very wrong.

The majority of the time, the problem for me is a lack of continuous rhythm on the part of the man. Same speed, same pressure. When I’m getting ready to orgasm, don’t get all lose your senses or try to get all fancy on me and switch it up or change direction. At all. I cannot emphasize this enough.

Likeradar's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir “I orgasm once or twice per sex session and we have 1–3 of those a day”

Wow. You must be the happiest person on the planet. How do you have time to Fluther and raise your beautiful babes? :)

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

Yes, all kinds and the ones with a partner are definitely the best yet. What makes a difference to me in having orgasms at all is how I perceive my partner. If I’m really into my partner but suspect they’re not so much into me then I’m probably not going to orgasm unless I decide to really work it even though I’m annoyed and I do get annoyed if I feel I’m the only one really farking. However, if I feel my partner is really into me rather than just an outlet for a sexual encounter then there is going to be some serious sex. Yay!

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Likeradar I fluther at work where they don’t let me have sex
And sex doesn’t equate complete happiness but I am tremendously happy and the babies, well the babies sleep sometimes, you know and other times I bring the infant to my aunt or mom

FrankHebusSmith's avatar

Male input (some pun intended there….) ..... I’ve been in long term sexual relationships with a few girls, and though I’m sure I couldn’t tell EVERY time they faked one or had a real one…. we definitely learn the signals of how we’re doing.

We do take it a bit personally when we can’t get our lady off, but faking it is even worse. Just tell us what you want us to do (possibly beforehand) and then give us “in the moment” directions.

I mean if you think about it, we being the guy are pretty much guaranteed to have at least one orgasm every time…. We don’t really have to have stuff as specific as girls do… So by all means, I don’t mind doing what need be done to get you to finish.

Added points when you finish at the same time :D

AnnieOakley's avatar

I believe all women are capable of orgasm. There are different kinds – my favorite being a combo. I think a)you need to know yourself well enough to know how to pleasure yourself and b) when you have sex with another person you should be trying to please each other at all times – if you want to be selfish, masturbate. Because women are capable of multiple orgasms, it is my belief we should have one before intercourse, at least one during and one after ;) – course maybe I’m greedy! And like Simone I prefer 1–3 time per day as well….you make time for what’s important! I think I heard if you have over 200 a year, you live longer – maybe Dr. Oz on Oprah or something. And women – NEVER fake it. You cheat yourself and your partner!

MissAusten's avatar

I don’t remember the last time my husband and I had sex and I didn’t have an orgasm.

benjaminlevi's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir They dont let you have sex at work!?
Time to find a new job, methinks.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@benjaminlevi shiiiit, don’t I know it

CMaz's avatar

Because some you you ladies can have multiple orgasms. I tend to hold back. Let you get a few in, then let it go. It equates to a longer session. A stronger orgasm for me. And, we both end up with a smile on our face.

Sueanne_Tremendous's avatar

I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. Yep. I can. Frequently, too.

I can hop on top
and let myself pop
I can ride a toy
and let me clit enjoy
I can wiggle my finger
and bring on a zinger
A can ride a tongue
and come like the young
Straddling a washer
and I come like a gusher
The jets in a spa
make me go “Ahhhhh”
Tickle my bum
and I’m sure to come

jbfletcherfan's avatar

In answer to the question….....ooooooohhhhhhhhhhh, yeah!!! :-)

iquanyin's avatar

poem: lol! man, oddly enough, i totally relate to all the answers here. all! like one early poster, i even started having sex at 14 but didnt have a partner orgasm till 19. like another poster, it has a lot to do with how i perceive my partner’s regard for me, and of course without steady rhythm it ain’t gonna fly.

but length—of time or tool—is not so relevant. i’ve come before my partner, rapidly, many a time. i notice—even alone—that general health and energy level are also a definite factor. it takes energy to cum, or to do almost any highly physical thing. sex then has added layers of habit, emotion, trust, and so on added on top of it (usually). great question!

Jeruba's avatar


> Same speed, same pressure. When I’m getting ready to orgasm, don’t get all lose your senses or try to get all fancy on me and switch it up or change direction. At all. I cannot emphasize this enough.

A thunderclap “yes” for that.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Jeruba I just hurl ‘don’t stop’s everywhere

AstroChuck's avatar

<<Kicking back and enjoying the thread.>>

bythebay's avatar

Yes, with pleasure!

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@AstroChuck LOLLLL, why does that not surprise me?? ’-)

AnnieOakley's avatar

Maybe we should compare toys…that might take the thread in an interesting direction!

FrankHebusSmith's avatar

@AnnieOakley Maybe you should indeed…. :D

Clair's avatar

hell yea. i can’t believe that most women don’t. i found that so surprising.
i starting having sex at 13 and had my first vaginal O at 16, along with an orgasm from a partner. it’s not that hard for me anymore.
whatever it takes, we don’t stop until we’re both satisfied. period.

CMaz's avatar

Yes, ladies…. Replace your picture with that favorite toy!

jbfletcherfan's avatar

You go first….. LOL

shortysith's avatar

I am one of those lucky ladies who can have multiple orgasms, orgasms by thinking about it, having erotic dreams at night….life is awesome :) And every partner I have had has loved it too! :)

CMaz's avatar

Ok, going to shift the question. How many of you squirt?

Likeradar's avatar

@ChazMaz Water just almost squirted out my nose when I read that… does that count? :)

cak's avatar

Oh yes, and I’m very thankful. :)

CMaz's avatar

Depends on where your nose was at the time. ;-)

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I don’t squirt but am turned on by others that do

FrankHebusSmith's avatar

My buddies X g/f was a squirter… she’s the only one I’ve ever heard of though….. No girl I’ve ever been with sexually (mid-upper teens) has squirted. .... Wouldn’t mind experiencing a girl that could some day.

jca's avatar

i do, i seem to enjoy more when i’m alone, maybe i’m more relaxed. but i do love being with a man and having him take the time to get me off, too.

loser's avatar

I love Fluther!

CMaz's avatar

Me too!! Women are/seem so on their game when they can. LUV IT! Just make sure you have the rubber mattress cover on.

jca's avatar

to do it when i’m alone, i need to read some dirty stories on the internet, or watch porn, then i shut off the lights and get the lube and my toy, and it’s just me, myself and I and my imagination for about a half hour, over and over and over again.

AstroChuck's avatar

I don’t think I can take much more of this. This is too much for a six year old.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@AstroChuck that’s what fluther does. It drags you into adulthood.

timeand_distance's avatar

Sucks for the other 60%.

answer to le question: yes.

sakura's avatar

yup!! Not gonna go into too much detail but if I could sell my hubby and his tongue I would make a fortune mmm maybe I should I need a new handbag!!

CMaz's avatar

You ladies sure do like a man that has skills. Sometimes, I think you prefer the oral ones better.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

Well, of course! When wet meets wet, it’s very explosive! mmmmm

JustLeDouxIt's avatar

for the longest time I hadn’t. then i met my dream guy (who actually isn’t the biggest) and finally experienced something I never had before. :) which acutally proves that size doesn’t matter. ;)

Response moderated
writemyselfaletter's avatar

@RebeccaSJ well now I REALLY wanna know what you said in your answer..:)

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Oh yes I do, just about 99% of the time and often multiple times before my partner does. The only time I don’t are the few times my partner has a hard time (not hard) and I concentrate on ‘bringing them home’ instead of what my body wants to get there. I figure they only get one shot and they deserve every consideration in light of how much I get out of the deal.

CMaz's avatar

@Neizvestnaya – I like how you think (operate). ;-)

AstroChuck's avatar

This thread never gets old.

NaturallyMe's avatar

Always, and the session doesn’t end until both of us have.

CMaz's avatar

Nice! ;-)

LadyInRedd's avatar

I’ve read a bit about this.. before I started posting on marriage forums…was seeking sex forums as I had an intense spike in my drive… I was so clueless…I had no idea that the majority of women climax through oral sex.. and that only about 30% can orgasm through PIV sex..

This has always been easy for me.. -I am the opposite, I can hardly get off through his doing oral on me.. Intercourse is the fireworks for me.. . my husband has mastered his technique so well that he’s always been able to hold out for me..

On occasion he would slip.. back in the day.. I would pound on him.. and tell him he had to do it again…. “I wanted that!”... (oh he didn’t mind)... we’d wait.. then be back at it..

Now that he’s older.. he isn’t able to get it back up THAT quick.. we might have to wait till the next morning….he always feels so bad if he slips before me… it’s really sweet though..

There are some really good books on the female orgasm -for anyone who wants to read up..

*I Love Female Orgasm: An Extraordinary Orgasm Guide (on amazon) for one.

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