General Question

lady4life's avatar

If I tell you the truth will you hate me?

Asked by lady4life (234points) June 5th, 2009

Most people say that they prefer you be honest..tell them the truth ALWAYS but in your opinion do you think most people can handle reality..can their ego..feelings etc handle your truths

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22 Answers

skfinkel's avatar

If it’s the truth that they need to know, it will set them free.

If it’s just mean, no need to share.

Blondesjon's avatar

Most people? No.

cak's avatar

@skfinkel – is right. There is a difference, some people say truthful things, just to be mean. Example:

Sally gets a haircut and it’s bad. She’s already discussed it with her stylist and of course, her best friend. She goes into a meeting and someone that doesn’t really like her bellows out, “My GAWD…what did you do to your hair? You look awful! I’d sue.”


I was “Sally” and the person that bellowed out the rude comment, was asked to leave the meeting.

eupatorium's avatar

No. I hate people who dont say what they mean, actually. Some people hate confrontation, but I think its so much worse not to tell people what you think, especially if you’re going to be saying these opinions behind their back, to third parties. If everythings out in the open, you don’t get nasty tension built up. Of course, there are some times when it’s unnecessary to speak up, or just pointless. ^^

Lonestarwildman's avatar

No!I love honesty! I am upfront,but sometimes I may unintentionally hurt some one for lack of diplomacy.The truth will cause me pain if I am made to realize something negative about myself,but I will always respect the person who tells me because that means the person cares enough for me to tell me the truth.Equally important is telling people the truth about positive things.

dynamicduo's avatar

I appreciate people being honest. I would much rather have somewhat cruel or harsh honesty rather than that person biting their tongue and me making a fool of myself. As well, I value some people’s true opinions. But being honest as an excuse or cover for being mean or cruel is not only inappropriate, but it sticks out like a sore thumb, and I don’t waste my time around mean spirited people.

Bluefreedom's avatar

Honesty is the best policy. That adage sounds great and I think it is appropriate for almost every situation although I recognize that their might be exceptions, albeit very few of them. ‘Hate’ is a very ugly word and I try to use it as infrequently as possible. If someone tells the truth and it may not be something I want to hear or it will disappoint me, I will never hate them but I might dislike them or what they said. I will always prefer honesty over dishonesty.

AnnieOakley's avatar

I prefer honesty. It might make me mad for a moment or sad – but honesty is always best – unless the only purpose it would serve would be to hurt someone.

chyna's avatar

Honesty is great, but in Cak’s example why would anyone do that except to be hurtful. I’ve known people like that and what is really funny about them is that they actually have more to make fun of than the average person. I guess they have so many faults, they want to take the pressure off themselves.

Likeradar's avatar

Depends on the person and the truth. There’s also a nice way of telling the truth “Your ass looks terrible!” means the same as “I’m sure you can find jeans that are more flattering” but is taken completely differently.

That said, almost anyone telling me the truth nicely will be appreciated. Only about 2 people in my life would be appreciated for telling me my ass looks terrible.

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

Therein lies the importance of tact.

cookieman's avatar

@TCH: Exactly (I was just going to say that).

You can be honest and tactful.

archer's avatar

a very good possibility of being hated.
but there is a major plus side
you weed out the unworthy this way

dannyc's avatar

To truly advance intellectual and personal development the truth, presented in a positive non-threatening way, is preferable. If you frame your answer or dialogue with a person in a way that truly demonstrates tour feelings, then it will almost never lead to hatred. It is a skill that is very difficult to perfect, but an effective way of communication.

archer's avatar

it matters not a whit how you present the truth to one who rejects it

archer's avatar

one truly interested in truth will look straight past any clumsiness in presentation

EAKM's avatar

Tell all the Truth but tell it slant—-
Success in Cirrcuit lies
Too bright for our infirm Delight
The Truth’s superb surprise
As Lightening to the Children eased
With explanation kind
The Truth must dazzle gradually
Or every man be blind—
-Emily Dickinson

Mr_Callahan's avatar

Tell me what I want to hear, in other words lie to me till it hurts.

cyn's avatar

I like people that are honest with me so…NO!

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

People say they want to hear the truth, but who is to define Truth from truth? I’ve had people tell me that they would always tell me the truth. How stupid of me not to realize that their version of the truth was only true in their febrile little minds.

This question is rather meaningless, other than the point that it creates some nice discussion, and gives people a chance to explain their views of honesty.

There, hows that for Truth? No, I won’t hate you; will you hate me?

Lonestarwildman's avatar

@evelyns_pet_zebra No,I certainly would not hurt you,and you are right that people misuse truth for their own agendas,and it sounds like you have been hurt by the truth or someone’s perception of the truth.Truth is good in a positive use towards the improvement of yourself or others,but in a negative use it is a tool of distruction.

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

@Lonestarwildman that is why I define honesty as the one true virtue. I am as honest as is humanly possible in all my dealings with people, but it isn’t for them that I do it. It is for me. I prefer the truth over lies because you have to remember lies, the truth is always there. The only time there can be a problem is when either one of us misunderstands.

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