General Question

mehmetaydin3's avatar

What do you tell someone who is constantly depressed about paying the bills and not earning enough?

Asked by mehmetaydin3 (112points) June 7th, 2009

Money isn’t an answer for all happiness.. granted. But what if people can’t be happy because they can’t make ends meet? What can be done to let them know it shouldn’t make them depressed?

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16 Answers

Milladyret's avatar

Get a new job.

whatthefluther's avatar

Not being able to pay the bills is depressing. You can remind that person that things could be worse. Maybe they are having a tough time getting the utility bill paid, The fact they have a utility bill indicates they have a roof over their head and probably are not going hungry…these are just a couple of situations many people can not say they share. See ya…wtf

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

Why shouldn’t it be upsetting? It’s a huge problem.

As with many problems though, the depression resulting from the problem can be alleviated somewhat by actively addressing the problem. Maybe that requires moving, or taking a second job.

loser's avatar

That they might benefit from some counseling?

Steven0512's avatar

See the doc and get some Xanax.

Bobbydavid's avatar

Better job, spend less, extra job, spend less time on fluther complaining and pick yourself up and get on with your fucking life!

Milladyret's avatar

Why be stuck in a situation (that’s highly fixable) that’s making you miserable? Selfpittying doesn’t help for anything.

But if your friends get a new job, gets a smaller car, a smaller appartment and cuts back on things he don’t need and STILL is depressed? THEN you need to worry. But untill then, this is just another one of life’s bumps in the road. Noone is immune to being broke!

capt_murph_e's avatar

Be there for your friend and help them get on the track out of debt. Spend time with him or her doing things that don’t cost much. Since you understand your friend’s situation, you can better help that person compared to other friends who might want to go shopping at the mall every weekend. Rent a movie and invite them over. Volunteer so you can both get a tax deduction and cut coupons together. It’s never the end of the world when it come to personal financial situations. This could be a win win situation for both of you.

skfinkel's avatar

If it’s credit card debt that keeps rising every month, I think your friend can talk to the company to try and work something out. If it’s medical bills, same thing.

If it’s just spending more than he is making, he needs to figure out where the money is going (car fixes? entertainment? food?) and see where there is waste and what is critical. Obviously, he has to spend less than he has.

And, interestingly, the minute he gets proactive about all this, and takes charge instead of feeling like it is him running to catch up, he will probably feel better. Even if money is still owed. It’s a mind thing as much as anything.

casheroo's avatar

I think people in this thread are highly insensitive.
It’s very difficult to make ends meet, for some. It’s hard to deal with sometimes. I agree with @skfinkel‘s answer. He needs to reevaluate his spending and find out how to live more comfortably. Yes, it’ll be rough for a while, but it’ll work out in the end.

rooeytoo's avatar

It is not a problem that can be fixed overnight. Do the banks still make debt consolidation loans? That is a good idea if available and if there are numerous credit card etc. bills. But it won’t work unless you cut up the credit cards and don’t spend more. Same thing with cars, if you have a new expensive car, you may have to sell it at a loss and get an oldie, may take you a while to pay off the new one, but like I said, it doesn’t happen overnight.
Just as it took time to get into debt, it takes time and planning to get out.

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

get a new job? spend less time bitching and more time changing… seems simple enough. I think people over complicate things too much. If you want more money, go find a job that pays more, if you have to go to school, take night classes… when it comes down to it, laziness or a lack of drive is one’s only excuse for not becoming what they’ve dreamed of.

PandoraBoxx's avatar

Sometimes, depending on your friends and social circle, certain expenses are necessary in order to fit in, and it can create hardships for some that go along and try to keep up appearances. The result is often that they can’t pay bills that they should be paying in order to hang onto the friends. Or, if they’re just out of school and have a heavy debt load, it can be overwhelming to other life choices because it hangs over you. In a down economy, where positions for those just starting out aren’t plentiful, it can become quite depressing, because it gives you pause to think if you will ever come out ahead.

One thing that might be helpful to note is that this job market is as bad as what transpired ca. 1978–1982, and people managed to build careers out of that mess. The economy is cyclical. Things do come around. Do the best that you can; that’s all you can do.

YARNLADY's avatar

Rather than tell you friend something, how about ask if there is anything you can do to help. Sometimes people just need a friend to listen to their woes, and that is all they want.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

There’s a difference in being depressed because you aren’t able to afford to keep up on payments and not being able to afford basic necessities on your own. Not having basic financial security, not having an assumed “home” or reliable transportation in order to keep a job, those are harrowing situations and people have every right to admit to being depressed. Good thing there are remedies.

jerrytown's avatar

Welcome to America

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