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The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

If you were dive bombed by a bird, what would your initial reaction be to the talons on your head?

Asked by The_Compassionate_Heretic (14596points) June 8th, 2009

On my way to work downtown, there is a large black bird, a starling, that sits perched atop an outcropping of a building and watches busy people going to and from their jobs. Then when their backs are turned, the bird swoops into action by swiping and plucking at the hair of the unwary.

People’s reactions vary a lot.

Personally I love this bird because it breaks people out of their everyday routine and shocks them into the immediacy of the present, where we should all be in the first place.

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26 Answers

Blondesjon's avatar

Oh God! Mom was right!

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

Check to see if it had pooped on me. I’m told it’s supposed to be good luck but I really believe someone made that up so people wouldn’t feel so bad being picked out to be pooped on by nature’s sweet creatures.

casheroo's avatar

I would probably begin screaming and frantically waving my arms about to get the offending bird off of me. I have no shame

I’ve been attacked by a seagull before, it drew blood and I was so so afraid I’d get some crazy bird disease. I was around 10 years old. Totally traumatized me.

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

@hungryhungryhortence When I felt the talons on my scalp, I remember thinking of nothing else other than that brief period in time. At that one glorious moment, there was only me, a bird on my head and the moment.

Very much a zen experience.

Dr_C's avatar

I’d probably curse at the bird and maybe throw whatever was handy if i was in a bad mood… if indifferent i would probably try to find cover… if in a good mood i would most likely laugh my ass off.

i’m usually in a pretty good mood

Aethelwine's avatar

Run. I was dive bombed by an owl while I was walking in the woods once. I was unknowingly near it’s nest. It definitely scared me because the owl was very large.

RedPowerLady's avatar

This exact thing happened to my husband. He said he just ducked and swatted at it, and he cursed at the bird. He said the bird wouldn’t go away until he left the entire block. Then he started laughing. He actually called the bird “a little f*cker”.

Speaking of funny birds. At the college I graduated from there is a building that has a very skinny corridor you have to walk down. No overhead, just high walls. There was this crow that would hang out on top. He would pluck fallen leaves and throw them on people’s heads as they walked by. It was too funny to watch. I loved that bird as well. Same bird would also land on top of people’s cars and scratch the heck out of them. That was not so cool. lol.

I’ve had hummingbirds (on a few different occasions) fly straight at me. And bats as well. I kinda scream a bit and flail around as well as dart out of the way. A bit over the top, i know.

cak's avatar

I was at the beach with a friend when she was poo’d on by a seagull. (nasty birds!) I was as close as I’ve ever been to peeing my pants, I was laughing so hard.

…it’s just a matter of time before I’m attacked by a bird. —When I am, I’ll be like casheroo and I will be yelling, screaming and waving my hands around.

@jonsblond – that’s nothing to laugh at! Those things are very powerful!

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

@jonsblond Owls are dangerous animals. Did it scream at you on the way down?

Randy's avatar

I’d dick punch any bird that tried that on me.

Aethelwine's avatar

It did scream at me. I was 19 and had no clue at the time how powerful owls can be. I was told how lucky I was that it didn’t attack. It was a beautiful creature though!

Lupin's avatar

Anyone up for a brisk game of Badminton?

SuperMouse's avatar

I was dive bombed by a hawk once, my initial reaction was to scream and flail my arms like a three year-old refused a piece of candy.

MacBean's avatar

I have a bit of a bird phobia. It’s pretty mild but its root cause is being dive-bombed by a seagull when I was a small child. So I’m fairly certain being dive-bombed again would make me FREAK THE FSCK OUT.

augustlan's avatar

I was pooped on by a seagull at the beach. It was from a safe distance, though. ;)
I also had a bat in my house, flying down my staircase right at me! My little tiger kitty jumped up and caught it in midair… my hero.

If your dive bombing bird dove at me, I’d probably just duck and laugh. However, if it got caught up in my hair I’d totally freak.

cak's avatar

@lan None of the cats I’ve ever owned would be so inclined to do the same. In fact, they might consider meowing to warn me, but that might be too much for them, too. I have always owned cats lazier than Garfield. Your kitty needs to teach my _current cat that it’s okay to jump. :)

tiffyandthewall's avatar

probably scream and flail around and run into innocent bystanders.

f4a's avatar

heheh a couple days ago i was noticing that too.. my intial reaction is, remembering alfred hitchock’s movie. but i would laugh.

Likeradar's avatar

I have a bizarre phobia of bats getting stuck in my hair. Now I hate birds too. Thanks, TCH. :P

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

@Likeradar Sorry about that. If you ever come visit, I’ll tell you where to keep an eye out.

Bluefreedom's avatar

I would duck out of the way and then go rent the Alfred Hitchcock movie, The Birds, just for shits and giggles.

casheroo's avatar

my favorite bird is the one that walked into a store and took chips.

@the_compassionate_heretic oh my god, that is too funny to watch as long as it’s not happening to me. why does it do that? is it protecting something?

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

@casheroo There’s a nest nearby. I just worry now that some jackass might try to kill it to impress their loser friends. I would be very sad if that happened.

mockturtle's avatar

Wow, that blackbird is brilliant! I’m surprised that he actually strikes the pedestrians. He has his own blog now: Attack Bird Chronicles

I’ve been dive-bombed by eastern bluebirds for getting too near a nestbox, but they didn’t seem to be trying to hit me so much as make me go away, which I did! It was startling, but not a scarring experience. These feathery little guys certainly are bold when it comes to protecting their nests!

P.S. If a bat swoops near your head, chances are it’s just trying to nab an insect flying near you. It does not want to entangle itself in your hair. Bats are cool like that.

Likeradar's avatar

@mockturtle That’s what the bats want you to believe. ;)

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