General Question

lady4life's avatar

Are we all entitled to be Loved?

Asked by lady4life (234points) June 9th, 2009

All humans are flawed and blessed/cursed with some good and some bad
what qualifies a person to be loved..

Can a person be to bad
Sin so deep
They don’t deserve love and kindness?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

40 Answers

eeyore200343's avatar

i thik love is based on between 2 people loving each other for who they are. people are attraced to the opposite or same sex for a reason. everybody does deserve to be loved.

MrGV's avatar

Everyone deserves to be loved no matter what they did.

CMaz's avatar

True dog! Many different ways to love. Always one to fit the person, even if sometimes it has to be at a distance.

robmandu's avatar

Entitled? No.

Appreciative, yes!

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

“Entitled” is a strange word to use in conjunction with love.

Entitled implies an expectation of love and you can’t demand love.

You get love by giving love.

Dog's avatar

Love is not asked for nor ordered like a beer.
Love is not controlled though those in love are vulnerable to manipulation.
Love is not an entitlement.

I do think that to some degree you must be able to give love to have it fully reciprocated thus if you are completely unable to be loved you may not be loved in return. I say may not because I have seen both men and women who love others despite horrible treatment.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

Rack me up with those who agree the feeling of entitlement is going to get you in trouble.
Also, you don’t automatically get back the love you give or the amount you give.
Love isn’t always timely, you can’t expect to get what you think you need. Unconditional love is something most of us assume but rarely experience. Love isn’t going to easily and quickly fix a negative, destructive or resistant person (be that you or another).
So, when you are experiencing love, cherish it for all it’s worth and for however long you have it. Consider deeply the person who is wanting to give you any, respect that.

lady4life's avatar

What I am asking..should all humans be loved by someone regardless of what they may have done..

Do we love automatically or is it based on we earn it

Can we learn to love unconditionally

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

@lady4life Yes people should ideally treat others with compassion and respect by virtue of the fact that humans are more like each other than anything else in the universe.

lady4life's avatar

The Compassionate Heretic..ideally, yes..i agree

Dog's avatar

Should all humans be given $1000.00 at birth? Ideally yes. But in reality most of us must earn it.

CMaz's avatar

Equating Money with love? :-) You give birth (hopefully) because you love that funky looking, soon to make stinky Diaper, spitting up, critter.
I know, all is cool.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I don’t think that those who have committed terrible actions and have no remorse about it should be loved.

Dog's avatar

@ChazMaz Just an analogy to keep the conversation interesting.

CMaz's avatar

Sometimes love is about just letting people know you are there for them.
Everybody is someone’s baby. Even funky looking, soon to make stinky Diaper, spitting up, critters. You might not want to love a certain individual but someone is there to love them.

tinyfaery's avatar

Hmm. All you people with children, do your children not deserve love? Are they not entitled to it? Did you love them before they “deserved” it
or reciprocated it?

I think every person born
requires and deserves love. Love means many things, and
manifests itself in strange ways. Most people respond to love more than punishment or fear. Maybe if we were all
entitled to give and receive love people would be better adjusted, and crime and other
atrocities would decrease.

Damn. Isn’t that was Jesus said. I hope none of you people call yourselves Christians.

robmandu's avatar

Isn’t love only real when it’s unconditional?

If it’s forced on behalf of the recipient (by demand or entitlement), then is it really, truly love?

I can choose for myself to love my fellow man. It is a laudable goal. It’s good for everyone involved. Hence charity.

I’m pushing back on the “love me just as I am”. Sorry, but if you’re a misanthropic douchebag, well, chances are I ain’t gonna love ya. Nor should I.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@tinyfaery I agree, every person born deserves love
and having loving people around would lead to better adjusted individuals – but once individuals grow up and cause harm to others, especially if repeatedly and are aware of what they’re doing and don’t give two craps, they no longer are entitled to love because they took advantage of another in such ways – children and adults are different creatures

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I don’t know if there are only two options : unconditional or forced

I always say my love is not unconditional because if you don’t respect me or hurt me, I will leave you – if you hurt my children, I will not love you

tinyfaery's avatar

So, if your child made bad choices he/she would no longer deserve your love? To me, that is one of the most horrible things parents do to
their children. You brought them into the world and you are responsible for them.

At what age is your child no longer your child?

Jeruba's avatar

Every person is worth loving.

This is not the same thing as entitlement. No one owes it to you.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I believe there is a difference between bad choices and the kind of deliberate harm I mentioned above. I should mention it would have to be something I consider truly criminal (according to my own standards, not that of the legal system), to a point where I’d reconsider my love. Of course this is hypothetical, I’ve never faced this situation so I don’t know how I’d react. I would also feel incredible disappointment in myself if my actions had anything to do with it, because of course I am responsible for them. I take that responsibility very seriously.

And my children will always be my children, technically speaking but they will not always be children, maturity wise and I will not be able to forgive them in the same fashion I forgive them now

tinyfaery's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir You do not have to forgive someone if you love them. You would really stop loving your own child? Sorry, but I find that appalling.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@tinyfaery I think you’re taking what I say to extremes, perhaps based on your own life – I am remaining open and am saying that I do not know whether or not I would, how could I foresee such a thing? But since my imagination is rich and since I can imagine a situation where my child would hurt another person in a horrible way, yes, they would be in a position for me to forgive. It is irresponsible, imo, for a parent to love their children without clarity, blindly, without expecting their children to be responsible and to not harm others. I will absolutely lose respect for my children if they commit an action that I find worthy of such a punishment. Of course this would hurt me more because they’re my flesh and blood but I am raising them to understand, to fight, to be compassionate, I’m not raising them to think they can do anything terrible and still be looked at as innocents in the eyes of their mother. To treat them this way would be to not afford them the individuality that they possess and will possess. To treat them with blind respect is tantamount to blindly respecting religion or god, both actions I find appalling. Please understand, also, that I am an incredibly open minded indidivual and a nurturing parent and I would forgive (hell, not fogive, I wouldn’t even consider it forgiveneess) my children MUCH MUCH more than others would.

calvinette's avatar

No one is entitled to love. But we all have a responsibility to show love to others, without expecting anything in return (and I’m not talking about being a pushover or a person who is easily taken advantage of). When you act out of love (to your family, friends, neighbors, strangers, or your God, if you have one) it comes back to you. Maybe not right away, or in the way you want. If nothing else, it might only just make you a better person, and help you love yourself.

Facade's avatar

I think everyone is entitled to be loved.

sap82's avatar

In my opinion, love is an unconditional priveledge that all are welcome to recieve as long as the giver sees no conditions to hold bias. If we address the emotional definition of love, which is: any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection and attachment; then love is entirely a choice of preferred qualities. If you are refering to love in a spiritual sense, then most people are not capable of true love.

Jeruba's avatar

@Facade, if so, then who owes it to them? Should assignments be handed out so everyone gets to be loved by somebody? Or does everyone have the duty and obligation to love everyone else, and is that really what we mean by “love”? How can you love someone just because you’re told to? I can’t see how it could possibly be an entitlement.

RedPowerLady's avatar

I agree with @tinyfaery.

I do think that people deserve love. With the prime example listed in arguments above (i.e. a child and parent).

To further that I do think that love is owed. Continuing with the example of parent and child. A child deserves and is owed love from their parent. I would go so far as to say if the parent doesn’t give what is owed then they are indeed a bad parent and are not fullfilling their requirement as such.

Futhermore, This is what unconditional means. You don’t have to earn love in many cases. And even if someone does something nasty, horrible, awful then you can still love them. You don’t have to agree with someone’s actions or beliefs to love them. In fact you can simultaneously hate and love someone.

I also think that love should not always hinge on responsibility and respect. Especially when it comes to your children. I absolutely do not think it is irresponsible to love a child no matter what they do. I do think it is irresponsible not to hold them accountable, but that does not mean removing your love.

Having said that I do agree that other types of love can be earned or come as a privilege. But I think there is love beyond that. There are really many types of love. But, no, not all circumstances are earned , some are truly unconditional.

Garebo's avatar

I think we should pass a government law this time, religious tenant never seem to hold up. This time one must “love thy neighbor” or the consequences-criminal and corporeal punishment.
And people should mandate that Nancy Pelosi get on this right away in the Senate since she really does know how to love herself.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I don’t think I would specifically remove my love if they did something awful but I would absolutely not accept the horrible action they commit and will let them deal with the consequences – and if they need my help and mean it, I will AlWAYS be there

Garebo's avatar

@RedPowerLady: thats the problem how you perceive whether they mean it.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Garebo well, I, for one, hope to know my children well enough to know when they mean it

Jeruba's avatar

I would love my child no matter what, no matter what he did. But I don’t think of it as an obligation or a debt. I love him because he is my son.

If he did something heinous, I would hate what he did, but I would still love my child. If he became an awful person, I might not like him at all, but I would still love him.

Love is not something you can turn on and off like a faucet. It is natural, like a heartbeat. My heart beats because I am alive and not because I am entitled to have it beat.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Jeruba that’s beautifully written, Jeruba

wundayatta's avatar

Rights do not exist in nature. It is only a society that can confer rights. Society can not confer the right to be loved. Sorry.

susanc's avatar

Maybe no one’s entitled. But people have to be loved or they go nuts.

cak's avatar

@susanc lurve

Sure, we may not be entitled to love, but it sure is nice when we can openly give and receive love. A sense of entitlement to anything, is just kind of wrong, in my book.

susanc's avatar

@cak lurve you too darlin

Yeah, entitled, it doesn’t seem to work that way. The idea of entitledness seems irrelevant to how love operates, like it exists in a separate system.

… which is an okay system for certain quantities. Like, there are entitlement programs to provide opportunity for people who need it. I like that. I like legs-up. But a “sense of entitlement” is different from that, and it’s always infuriating and undeserved. Because this is America! We don’t have no dukes & earls here.

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