Can you give me an idea for a country song?

The bar is out of beer so this must be goodbye

What about one where you just sing about how everything is fantastic? You could make that funny and parody what most people think of country music.

Obama’s president

The horse I used to date had to be shot.

learning the letters is hard work.

moonshine don’t taste as good when you’re literate.

etc.

I ditched my lady for some power tools.
Best decision I ever made.

I’m a true blue American but my truck is made in Japan.

I met my wife when she slipped in my tobaccy spit and she’s been chewin’ me out ever since.

How about:

From the seas off California’s coast
To the Atlantic east of Maine
I am the nightmare of both the Left and Right
A blue-collar redneck WITH A BRAIN!

I work in the country and live in a small town…dicks.:)

How about:
It seem like everyone
but me
is having sex
including bacteria…
(from an earlier thread)

Probably something about the failure of GM or Chrysler and the effect on a small town when the only dealership closes.

GM is bankrupt and my job is down the tubes. Worst of all my truck needs repair and they ain’t making parts anymore.

I got my right hand blown off in a hunting accident, now i can’t touch myself to the memory of you.

@eponymoushipster . . .You still have your left hand.

Perhaps that one is busy with your progressive, metro-sexual, best friend, Evan, whom you are only giving sexual release because he just found out his portfolio tanked in the bailout mess?

@Blondesjon he’s a country boy. the devil lives in your lefthand, and if you touch your “baby straw” with your left hand, it’ll go leprous and fall off!

@eponymoushipster . . .That’s a myth. You’ve touched hundreds of “baby straws” with your demon tongue and you still don’t sound like Helen Keller when you talk.

@Blondesjon tongue != left hand, though. and they were “baby cupcake holders”, not straws.

@eponymoushipster . . .cream filled?

@Blondesjon heh. by the end…

Some times I get the “you never remember to do the things I ask you” speech from my wife, so I really try hard to make sure not to forget…some times I still do, nothing intentional mind you, just I might have 15 things going on and I remember 14, but miss one, always seems to be the one thing she’ll latch onto. I know this is not at all abnormal for married couples, most the guys I know hear the same thing from their wives.

Anyway, last night at maybe 6pm she says to me, next one of us who goes to the basement should bring up a roll of paper towels (they are on a shelf leading to the basement). So, about 7:30 I’m heading down to the basement with a load of laundry, and as I’m walking down, I grab a roll of paper towles and roll them across the kitchen floor to where she’s standing.

She says, thanks, but I already got one (we had one in a paper bag from a recent picnic we went to)...she said she just grabbed it because she figured I’d forget. It made me think how often am I getting in trouble for all the forgetting she thinks I was gonna do. To me, THAT sounded like a country song.

“All the Forgettin’ You Think I’m Gonna Do…”

My state is blue, and my heart is too.

It didn’t take me an hour to come up with that. Really.

I Swear I Didn’t Cheat On Ya (Hell, It Was Just Oral Sex)

by B.J.Billy Bob and the Stogie Suckers

State to state
In all those towns you’d only read about on bus schedules
It’s me, baby
And I hear your voice even when I try so hard not to
“I told you so… I told you so”

this has to be a song that meets your needs, David Allan Coe, “You Never Called Me By My Name”. Strangely, a genuine red neck bigot…from the great mid-western state of ohio.

Sing about the sad sad day when you had to order a coke instead of a beer because the bar was out.

in the south you would have beeen asked, “What kind of coke? Sprite, root beer, etc?” :)

I got a flat tire on the road of love.

A joke:

What do you get if you play a country record backwards?

You get your wife back, you get your kids back, you get your dog back, you get your job back.

How about a song about Johnny Cash?

“If your phone don’t ring, you’ll know that it’s me”.