General Question

skatroyal's avatar

My girlfriend says she likes me so much, but she just cant give it to me?

Asked by skatroyal (1points) June 11th, 2009

me and my girlfriend were friends for awhile and we started dating a few months ago. we make out alot and one time i rubed her through her pants and put my hand up her shirt and wen we wer done she started trembling i think from trying to move to the next level. an later on wen i went home i was texting her and she said she just cant go any further physically. but then she says quote “i just cant do it. i like you so much and i cant give you it. im just a baby” wat do i do? by the way we are both virgins and we are jumiors

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

53 Answers

cheebdragon's avatar


ubersiren's avatar

What grade are you in?

eponymoushipster's avatar

ask your parents.

CMaz's avatar

First and for most. NO means NO.
Second, stay Virgins as long as possible. You have so much time for that stuff and once it is gone you cant get it back.

Also, you should talk to her parents about how you feel.

sap82's avatar

Patince is better than fatherhood at 17. Wait.

Dog's avatar


Do not pressure her.

Do not make her feel like a freak for wanting to wait.

Do not rush her.

Do not make her feel like she is neglecting you.

Let her decide what, when (and if ever) it will go further.

Remember something important here: “Nothing truly worth having ever happens easily.”

And remember you always have a back up named Rosy Palm.

Dr_C's avatar

I know it’s hard to do at 17 (God knows it was for me) but try NOT to think with your penis. Sex is not the most important part of a relationship and entails many many many implications that are hard enough to deal with when you’re an adult… let alone a 17year old BOY in high school.

If she’s not ready she’s not ready… leave it alone. Pressuring her into it will either drive her away or make her regret it and resent you.

Just be happy that you have someone to make out with who can stand to be with you for more than 10 minutes at a time and if you feel the urge either take a cold shower or squeeze one off at home before or after you meet with this poor girl.

Keep your mind busy and enjoy everything else this lovely young lady has to offer. The harder you try to get into a girls pants.. the less likely you are to get there.

Likeradar's avatar

She wants to enjoy the relationship and get to know you really well, not mess it up with sex. And yes, sex can sure mess up a relationship, especially between two high schoolers.

Back off, and slow your hands down.

Response moderated
El_Cadejo's avatar

that was a painful read…

MrItty's avatar

What do you mean what do you do? You wait until she’s ready. There are ZERO other options. What the hell kind of question is this?

cwilbur's avatar

If she says NO, you wait.

Even if she starts saying YES and then you get to a certain point and she says NO, you stop and wait.

And pressuring her is not cool at all. She’ll be ready when she’s ready, and that will be sooner if you don’t pressure her into it. She has to feel comfortable with you and with herself, and the more pressure you put on, the less likely she is to feel comfortable.

sap82's avatar

@MrItty Its a reasonable enough question for somebody that has little or no knowledge about relationships.

Mr_Callahan's avatar

True sap; When I was 17, I just wanted to dip my stick in warm 30W oil…without giving it much thought….those were the days.

Likeradar's avatar

@sap82 Agreed. It may be the kind of q older, more experienced people can roll their eyes out, but for a 17 (?) year old virgin, this kind of situation is really confusing. I’m glad the OP is looking for answers about how to handle the situation and what it means than trying to harass his gf into going further than she wants to.

MrItty's avatar

@sap82 No. It’s not. “What do I do?” has no reasonable answers other than “wait” or “pressure her into it”. To ask the question implies that option #2 is a valid response. To consider that a valid response is to be a horribly disgusting person, regardless of age. There is nothing reasonable about this question.

WhatThaF's avatar

whoa calm down boy. be patient. learn patience. don’t push her to somethin she doesn’t want to do yet. if you can’t deal with that, dump her—obviously you’re complaining that you need it now and she’s not givin in. ever think she scared she might get pregnant if u two did do it now? she knows she’s young.. dont you think so?


Facade's avatar

stop trying to have sex. life is more than that.

Mr_Callahan's avatar

Are we saying that there is no convincing argument in favor of asking a young adult female to remove her panties? Boy, did I miss that lecture? I was a salesman when it came to ” convincing arguments of that nature.

cookieman's avatar

You have to wait until she is ready. No other choice here.

I like @Dog‘s advice best.

In the meantime, there’s always a cantaloupe, two-inch drill bit and a microwave

sap82's avatar

@MrItty Some disagree, but that is fine. I guess its a question of what you can live with. I am done talking to you.

cookieman's avatar

In case it matters, @skatroyal’s account has been disabled.

first day too

shame, didn’t stick around for the answers.

sap82's avatar

@cprevite Yeah that kind of does make this thread pointless. Cheers to the lot of ya.

archer's avatar

big props to your girlfriend
and her parents

Response moderated
Likeradar's avatar

@Mr_Callahan Seriously? Is this an attempt at humor, or outright douchebaggery?

cak's avatar

Before you have sex, ask yourself if you are ready for STDs, pregnancies and the potential change in a relationship? I get it, you are young. Wanting to have sex isn’t the worst thing in the world, but an accidental pregnancy sure puts a damper on Friday night football games and prom.

She’s smart. She wants to wait and there is nothing in the world wrong with waiting. You are both young – really, you will not die if you don’t have sex.

What do you do? Nothing. You tell her you respect her decision and don’t bring it up again. You don’t use persuasive methods, you don’t push further each time you guys make out. You don’t go any further than you’ve already gone with her – even then, you need to make sure it’s what she wants to do.

jlm11f's avatar

[mod says:] We know (through GAs) that the op did read answers before disabling her account. So its good to know he was helped.

Second, when you don’t have an answer to the question, PLEASE stay away from it. It is rude and disrespectful on so many levels to make fun of the question or to diss the question when it is a serious one. This site is about helping each other, not mocking each other. End rant.

As always, thanks to all the members that provided amazing answers to this question.

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

Leave sex for when you actually love someone. Don’t throw it away so early, because you will want your first time to be with someone who is better than you could ever imagine a human could be.

Clair's avatar

she’s not ready. just accept that. don’t force her into it. it would be way worse to have a humiliating experience similar to rape than to just go home and choke it one more time.
no offense, but most 17/18 year olds just aren’t ready. just give it time.

maybe you should just focus on school right now…maybe a little grammar, eh?

Clair's avatar

@eponymoushipster i’m going to edit that. and if you ever repeat that to anyone again, i’ll deny it.

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

up to her really.

sucks not getting laid though bud. Just gotta tough it out.

Mr_Callahan's avatar

Does anyone remember what I said that had to be removed, I’m stumped?

eponymoushipster's avatar

not worth remembering.

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

@Clair Proper grammar includes capitalising the first letter of the first word of each sentence. Just being a bit picky.

wundayatta's avatar

I heard that a lot when I was your age, and I kept on hearing it until I was a Junior in college. I believe that a lot of people think of their virginity as just something to get rid of. I know that young men want that connection very, very badly. I also know that there can be a lot of confusion about what it means, and what kind of girl puts out, and all that kind of shit.

The key thing, as a lot of people have said, is your relationship. This is about people, not about getting your rocks off. People in a relationship respect each other. They don’t try to get over on each other. Trust me, you don’t want to talk her into giving it to you. You want her to give it to you, if she ever does, because she wants to. Because she wants it as much as you do.

Otherwise, you’re taking it. And if you start down the road where you allow yourself to take it, you’ll have a real hard time ever having a decent relationship. You just won’t know when a girl is being real with you. You’ll always be wondering if it’s a game. That ain’t no way to live—at least, I wouldn’t want to live like that.

I may have waited a long time, but, eventually, I did lose my virginity. A few months after that, we finally knew enough about it to start having fun.

Likeradar's avatar

@Mr_Callahan It was along the lines of being glad you pressured girls into sex.

And can I mention how awesome it is that you find making comments like that forgettable?~

Mr_Callahan's avatar

It is what it is and i’m sure i was just being honest about my youthful indiscretions.

Clair's avatar

@FireMadeFlesh i’M aWaRe. i JusT dont fEel The NeeD.

carebare's avatar

First of all, how old are you? I’m venturing to guess that in this day and age your pretty young, you don’t find too many virgins past the age of 14. It sounds to me like this girl simply is’nt ready for sex, and if she is she’s obviously not into you sexually, I think she probably thinks of you as still a friend.

SeventhSense's avatar

Use the Rick James clause.
He’s the godfather.

Likeradar's avatar

@carebare “You don’t find many virgins past the age of 14”

I sincerely hope you’re very, very wrong.

eponymoushipster's avatar

@Likeradar maybe he’s looking in all the wrong places.

cheebdragon's avatar

“Nationally, more than half of teenagers are virgins until they are at least 17 years of age (Sex and America’s Teenagers, The Alan Guttmacher Institute, New York, 1994).

-In the U.S., 7 in 10 women who had sex before age 14, and 6 in 10 of those who had sex before age 15 report having had sex involuntarily. (Facts in Brief: Teen Sex and Pregnancy, The Alan Guttmacher Institute, New York, 1996).

-Nationally, one-quarter of 15 year old females and less than 30% of 15 year old males have had sex, compared with 66% of 18 year old females, and 68% of 18 year old males who have had sexual intercourse. (A Statistical Portrait of Adolescent Sex, Contraception, and Childbearing, National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, Washington, DC, 1998).”

Dr_C's avatar

@cheebdragon that is great research. I’m wondering however if there’s any stats out there that might be a bit more recent… something withing maybe the last 5–10 years. I’m not disputing the stats you cited i’m just wondering if these trends have kept true during the past decade.

Clair's avatar

@SeventhSense I watched that god-awful video when you posted it the other day and couldn’t get it out of my head until yesterday! Lurve!
And now I watch it again..why do I do this to myself.

SeventhSense's avatar

Well….maybe this one will cleanse the pallate.
I can still hear my sister and her friend blasting this in her Duster as they roared down the block..
P.S.-I’ve got to hand it to any man who can pull off big hair, glitter and sequins and not be mistaken for Liberace..RIP

eponymoushipster's avatar

@SeventhSense cocaine is a helluva drug

SeventhSense's avatar

Yes sigh…

cheebdragon's avatar

@Dr C—That can be found here

Dr_C's avatar

@cheebdragon thank you awesome lady :)

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther