General Question

Trance24's avatar

How can you learn to detatch yourself from things?

Asked by Trance24 (3311points) December 28th, 2007

Physical things, but also emotional things. How can you make your self not “care”?

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3 Answers

felipelavinz's avatar

If you’re searching for something like an spiritual way, you might want to take a look at the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism

1. Life means suffering
2. The origin of suffering is attachment.
3. The cessation of suffering is attainable.
4. The path to the cessation of suffering.

susanc's avatar

Well Trance24, this is not so well-researched in a scholarly sense, but this question
touches my heart so I’m going to spout a bit.
The idea is not to not-feel. It’s to feel but not panic.
Just as courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to behave correctly while experiencing fear, detachment doesn’t turn you into a robot. It allows you to notice,
covet, wish, admire, enjoy, evaluate, question, repudiate, take umbrage at, fear, adore, oppose, embrace – but without being overwhelmed. In Al-Anon, an organization I found very helpful for a period of years, they used to talk about “detachment with love”. This meant that when someone you love is caught in a web of addiction, you observe and care but do not become caught in that Thing yourself. You go on loving them, but you remain clear that you cannot “fix” them, their life is not yours, your life and your life only is yours. This does not mean you don’t feel – it means you’re free to feel deeply, and maybe to hurt, but you have perspective, you can breathe for yourself, and you can survive.

ironhiway's avatar

When I have to respond to a train accident I have to detach myself because I do care. I have to focus on getting people working on what needs to be done. to get help those who need it, physically and psychologically. Sometimes there are injuries that need immediate response, sometimes there are people who, I know, will be dead soon so I make sure someone is with them, to make sure they don’t feel all alone, in there last moments. Sometimes the scene is very gruesome and they all affect me differently. When I’m in route to suicides I always wonder how I’m going to respond when I see the body. This sometimes helps me focus on my job at hand, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference”.

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