General Question

sap82's avatar

Why is it appropriate for a pre-op transgender man to come to work dressed as a woman but not for a male cross dresser?

Asked by sap82 (704points) June 12th, 2009

This is a question that has come up in discussion about a previous question pertaining to transgendered appropriateness.

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10 Answers

laureth's avatar

Is it about who they really are, or is it about what gives them a sexual thrill? Do they live as a woman, or do they live as a man who just likes the feel of silk?

(Frankly, I think almost every place I’ve ever worked would have been OK with a male crossdresser wearing his skirts to work, too.)

So many trans questions today. Are they the flavor of the week?

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

It is appropriate for a woman to come into work dressed as a woman.
It is inappropriate for a man to come into work dressed as a woman.

CMaz's avatar

Since we are not sure in either case if who they say they are they are. One is more sure of who they are (in appearance) then the other. The line has to be drawn somewhere.

sap82's avatar

@laureth No need to be frank, he is fine on his own. Where have you worked? I would really love to work there. In my experience in the general public a cross dresser and a transgendered person would be treated equally perverted. Granted I don’t live near you, it might be different.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I don’t know
I feel that both individuals should be able to come to work without harassment – I don’t see cross dressing as wrong no more than I see pre-op activities as wrong

kellyseaborn's avatar

I am a pre-op transsexual and I started as a crossdresser before I went full-time around a year go. I think it all depends on how someone dresses. I work in a department store as a salesgirl and I can’t show up at work in a short leather skirt with fish-net stockings and boots to the knees and look like a whore. I know there are crossdressers and transgenders out there who are overdoing it and they also harm our community and our acceptance level and that’s not good.

Likeradar's avatar

@kellyseaborn I think very few of us can get away with showing up to work in a short leather skirt, fishnets, and knee high boots :)

sap82's avatar

@kellyseaborn Great! Somebody we can use as a source. How did your co-workers handle the change?

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

Being transgendered is an identity while cross dressing is more looked on as an elective recreational fetish or lifestyle. Hence, “I am a woman going to work” versus “I am man enjoying to dress as a woman, going into work dressed as a woman.”

kellyseaborn's avatar

My goal was always to be a woman and not to dress as a woman even though it’s hard at the beginning. For most of us transgendered people, there is a time, when it’s obvious that you are a man who try to look like a woman. I was lucky to have transitioned while still very young but especially older TG’s who transition in their 40’s or 50’s have a very tough time.
My co-workers handled it quite well as they always looked at me as the “little cutie” and were not really surprised when I announced myself as a transgendered girl.

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