General Question

lady4life's avatar

Can you appreciate your "own" beauty?

Asked by lady4life (234points) June 14th, 2009

why is it so hard for most women to see/appreciate their physical beauty yet so easy for others to witness our beauty and enjoy it..

not feeling worthy?
self-esteem issues?
childhood trauma?

what do you think?

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13 Answers

SirBailey's avatar

I don’t agree that it’s hard for most beautiful women. How would you REALLY know? Based upon what the woman publicly says? That’s no proof. Most women don’t shout “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful”.

But I think beautiful women who don’t see their beauty are SELECTIVELY ATTENDING to their physical flaws (or their perceived flaws). EVERY person has flaws. Some people focus on those FLAWS instead of their beauty.

Facade's avatar

Outside and inside influences.
Knowing their physical appearance could be better.

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

If I worried half as much about my school work as some girls I know worry about their looks(for no major reason, to be honest) I’d be in Princeton by now…

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

I am most attracted to women that see themselves as attractive and even if they have issues with their own beauty, they are still more attractive than the women that are narcissists. Beauty comes from inside, the outer covering is just frosting.

augustlan's avatar

I think I am realistic about my looks (the good and the bad), but I still have confidence. Confidence is attractive. More than that, confidence is sexy.

Supacase's avatar

I appreciate it more as I see it slowly slipping away as I age. I have always thought I wasn’t too bad, sometimes actually very pretty and somedays really rough. Some self-esteem issues and some childhood teasing probably don’t help.

It is conceited to walk around saying, “I’m so pretty!” or “Yes, thank you, I know.” Who would like a girl who did that? At the same time, women who start listing their flaws when they receive a compliment annoy me, too. Just say, “thank you” appreciate the compliment for what it is.

fundevogel's avatar

There are a lot of factors at play. The two powerful, but contradictory pressures I’ve felt as a woman in regards to appearance have been 1. be beautiful and 2. but if you pursue beauty you’re just a vain, shallow woman.

Eventually I said “screw you” to contradictory societal pressures and decided I was going look the way I like to look, which I think is beautiful, and if other people don’t like it they can suck on their mutually exclusive expectations of women.

I wasn’t really able to really love my body and the way I looked until I did that. It allowed me to feel in control of my body and my appearance. You can’t really love your body if you can’t own it.

shortysith's avatar

At 25, I feel like I am the most beautiful I have ever been. And that has a lot to do with just growing up, accomplishing goals, and coming into your own. I have plenty of days I complain about what i look like, but I realize that I am also beautiful on the inside. I like who I am more, and with that confidence, I feel more beautiful on the outside as well. Confidence is sexy on anyone, and I think the more confidence (NOT cockiness) you have, the better able you are to look in the mirror and be happy with what you see.

zephyr826's avatar

Like @shortysith says, I also feel the most beautiful now that I’m 26. When I was in high school, and even college to a certain extent, I spent my time trying to conform to someone else’s idea of beauty. Now that I’m finally a “grown-up” (teehee), I realize what works for me, and I capitalize on it. It’s wonderful to be comfortable in your own skin, and for me at least, it’s been a long time coming.

wundayatta's avatar

In high school, I thought I was pretty ugly. Ugly and short. I knew I had no chance of attracting a girlfriend based on my looks.

When I look back now, I think that actually I was not so bad. I wish I had known then what I see now. Of course, now I have a gut and untoned muscles and a lot of gray in my hair, so, once again, I think I wouldn’t be very attractive if I needed to be. Fortunately, I don’t need to be. All I have to do is wear presentable clothes, and I’m fine.

I’ve heard that a lot of beautiful women are insecure about themselves because they think that people like them because of the way they look, but don’t take them seriously. There’s this myth that if you’re beautiful, you’re dumb.

I think that looks are much more of an issue for women than men. This will probably always be the case, although men’s looks are becoming increasingly important. At least, to the point where men wear makeup (shudder). Certainly men have always tried to look strong and tough and a little bit bad.

The other factor, besides the ones you mentioned, is modesty. While this seems less and less true, some of us were brought up to be very humble. We never brag about anything, and certainly not looks. We believe it’s not what’s on the outside that counts, but what’s on the inside. Of course, the evidence suggests this is a myth. Beautiful people are smarter, taller, make more money, and mate with hotter people. These days, it seems like everyone is tooting their own horn. “Look at me! I’m the greatest!”

Makes me sick. I wish humility would make a comeback.

MerMaidBlu's avatar

Since I can remember, people have been telling me how beautiful I am. I get hit on EVERY time I leave my house. I can’t even go to the local pool without having to worry about a guy coming on to me or flirting. You’d think it would be every girls dream. Although I’m grateful for the way I look, some days it seems like a curse. I haven’t had a lot of close friends because their boyfriends or a guy they like starts flirting with me…and they think I’m doing something to provoke it (which tells me they aren’t really a friend). The fact that I’m a tom boy doesn’t help me either, if anything it makes it worse.

With that said, I don’t think beauty is everything. People have a bad habit of placing a lot of expectations on a beautiful person. You are expected to be so many things you aren’t and if you don’t live up to their expectations you’re considered to be nothing more than another pretty face and that’s hurtful too…if you DO live up to those expectations they still hate you because they think you have everything. You can’t win!

As I’ve gotten older, been through more experiences in my life and met more people I’ve come to believe you can only appreciate what you have in your life and who you are. But yes, sometimes it’s hard to appreciate looks.

seventeen123's avatar

I hear how pretty I am all the time.
However, I feel that its always BS & no one ever means it & other stupid crap like that. I think It’s because of self-worth issues mixed with childhood trauma.

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