General Question

Mr_Callahan's avatar

Are you an introvert OR extrovert and will you ever change?

Asked by Mr_Callahan (806points) June 15th, 2009

I knew a girl once when she was younger, she was very quiet and reserved, but now she won’t shut up….wazzup wit dat?

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25 Answers

DominicX's avatar

Well, it’s hard to say I am on one side forever, no question. But I suppose you could say that I am more extroverted than I am introverted. Every personality test I take says I’m an extrovert. However, I enjoy time alone and can do just fine by myself sometimes; I am not in constant need of being around people. But I prefer it; I love hanging out with people and going to parties and social gatherings and what not. Will I ever change? I sure hope not.

I have a friend I like who seemed more introverted to me but always wanted to hang out with people more; he just didn’t have many friends. Now he does and he is more social. He’s still quiet and all that, but that’s just the way he is and I don’t think he’s going to change and I don’t think he needs to change. That’s part of why I like him; it’s cute. :P

Facade's avatar

It depends on my mood at that particular second.

kenmc's avatar

I’m fairly extroverted until I drink.

Then I am the peoplest person you could meet.

Mr_Callahan's avatar

I think I am an extrovert, but find myself quiet and reserved lately in social circles…..waiting for my cue which never comes.

Mr_Callahan's avatar

” Peoplest ”, I like that boots.

Tink's avatar

Oo im like that girl. I got brought out of my shell in high school and I won’t change

DrasticDreamer's avatar

Introvert and no. I can be loud, but only with people who have known me for years and years. No one would ever describe me as an extrovert or social butterfly.

augustlan's avatar

I am an introvert who happens to be very good at pretending to be an extrovert when the need arises.

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

I have to agree with Augustlan. We must be cast from the same mold.

Dog's avatar

I am an introvert.

I function very well in public and can be on stage or give a speech or attend events but afterwords they leave me emotionally drained. I would rather roll naked in broken glass than spend the day at a mall during the holidays.

Being introverted is not a bad thing at all and in fact is beneficial in many ways. We are just wired differently than extroverts.

The following excerpt is from this source an article by author Jonathan Rauch.

What is introversion? In its modern sense, the concept goes back to the 1920s and the psychologist Carl Jung. Today it is a mainstay of personality tests, including the widely used Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. Introverts are not necessarily shy. Shy people are anxious or frightened or self-excoriating in social settings; introverts generally are not. Introverts are also not misanthropic, though some of us do go along with Sartre as far as to say “Hell is other people at breakfast.” Rather, introverts are people who find other people tiring.

Extroverts are energized by people, and wilt or fade when alone. They often seem bored by themselves, in both senses of the expression. Leave an extrovert alone for two minutes and he will reach for his cell phone. In contrast, after an hour or two of being socially “on,” we introverts need to turn off and recharge. My own formula is roughly two hours alone for every hour of socializing. This isn’t antisocial. It isn’t a sign of depression. It does not call for medication. For introverts, to be alone with our thoughts is as restorative as sleeping, as nourishing as eating. Our motto: “I’m okay, you’re okay—in small doses.”

I would also like to add that being an introvert is not a choice. It simply is the way we are. We can not and do not change.

DominicX's avatar


I always find it interesting that most pro-introvert passages mock extroverts. I never find much that shows an unbiased view of the two. Besides, I don’t think introverts and extroverts are at war with each other.

augustlan's avatar

@evelyns_pet_zebra Eww. We’re moldy. ;)

Dog's avatar

@DominicX The above quote was to help define what an introvert is and was in no way meant to slam anyone for being who they are. I respect extroverts and am even married to one. While I do not see any bashing going on in the quote I chose I am sorry if you took offense as none was intended.

There is a lot of misinformation out there about introverts and a lot of people still believe it is unhealthy or a mental illness such as depression when all it really is is the introvert needing time to process information.

There is a very good book called The Introvert Advantage which appears to be neutral. It is written by an introvert who is married to an extrovert and how they learned to respect their differences and support one anothers emotional needs. I recommend it as a good read.

whatthefluther's avatar

I’ve always been an introvert. I have trouble “forcing” conversation and making small-talk. However, if there is a discussion about something I particularly care about, I can talk passionately about for hours.

mcbealer's avatar

<———mostly an innie
WTF’s response is pretty much how I’d sum it up. I enjoy making new friends and striking up conversations with people around me, but I suck at small talk.

DarkScribe's avatar

I fluctuate. When I am in certain moods I enjoy and can both entertain and be entertained by people, there are times when I can be almost agoraphobic. No pattern to it, just me. It is probably why I can enjoy long periods of time sailing solo or trekking outback.

cookieman's avatar

I completely agree with @Dog.

I teach; I can be loud, goofy; I have no issue being on stage, speaking to hundreds of people; I can run events, manage large groups of people; I’ve been interviewed on TV a few times… But I always feel like it’s an act or a persona I conjur up when needed.

I find people exhausting, despise being on the phone and cherrish my alone time.

Mr_Callahan's avatar

Yu da man Dog, very interesting.I’m an introvert, but my .44 is an extrovert….I think.

hearkat's avatar

My basic character will always be introverted, but I have evolved into a “sociable introvert”; I have greatly improved my self-esteem, so now I can go out and meet new people and not be paralyzed by shyness. But solitude and quiet are still valuable to me and always will be.

DominicX's avatar


Yeah, it was the part that said “leave them alone for 2 minutes and they reach for their cell phone”. That’s obviously an exaggeration and sounded kind of smug.

The reality is, most people who spend time on sites like these are introverted and thus on the internet, people can relate in that fashion. I’ve seen many times on the internet people say that extroverts are loud, annoying, rude, arrogant, unintelligent, easily amused, etc. I suppose that introverts are judged more in real life…I just haven’t seen a whole ton of it.

augustlan's avatar

The world would certainly not be as interesting if we were all intros or all extros. I’m glad we’re both around!

DarkScribe's avatar

@DominicX _The reality is, most people who spend time on sites like these are introverted and thus on the internet, _

Not really so. I can go a little “off people”, but I am never introverted, nor are any of my family, who all spend a lot of time online. I spend most of the day with several monitors in front of me. layout, Adobe CS4, breaking news, etc. I usually open a window on something like Fluther, Flickr, Wiki, and when I am not immediately occupied (a lot of the day) – play with them. I dislike boredom, and even when writing for a deadline, will often take short breaks to “refresh/recharge”. I know many people just like me. My daughters are always online, yet none of them are introverted, nor is my wife.

The older concept of IT is only for nerds has been replaced with IT is for everyone who isn’t socially inept.

MissAusten's avatar

I’d say I’m an introvert who has picked up some extrovert skills over the years. It doesn’t come naturally to me, but from college on I gradually became more comfortable in groups of people I don’t know well. I’ll freely admit to watching how other people approach situations and learning from that. I enjoy going out or having people over, but I enjoy being alone more. Now that I’m married and have three kids, getting time to myself is even more of a challenge. I tend to ignore my husband for an hour or so after the kids go to bed, not because I don’t want to be around him in particular, but because I want a break from any kind of interaction.

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