General Question

Jude's avatar

Another Debbie Downer question coming your way (sorry): How did depression affect your relationships?

Asked by Jude (32109points) June 16th, 2009

When you were in the midst of your depression and you were with someone, how did your mood affect your relationship? Did you push them away at all (at times)? Did it affect Intimacy

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22 Answers

Tink's avatar

I think I have depression and it didn’t ruin my relationship it ruined my friendship. I was sad sometimes and I wouldn’t talk to anyone

Facade's avatar

I’m still waiting and hoping that it doesn’t affect my relationship with my babe. But it definitely affects the one with my parents (I’m not too worried about that).

filmfann's avatar

It took a long time for my wife to understand that it was part of the creative process I use. To her credit, no one before got that.

casheroo's avatar

Until I met my now husband, no man ever understood or was willing to stick by me through the hard times.
I dated a man for two years, and he jokingly called me crazy all the time, but never did anything to help.
When I started dating my now husband, he knew of my history and supported me 100%. He’d go to appointments with me, even joining in on therapy sessions so he could understand better.
It did have a major impact on our relationship though. Because I suffered from severe anxiety, and could not leave the bedroom…so I would constantly want him to stay home from work to keep me company. But, we worked through it. He would make sure I had everything.
He dealt with my anxiety in cars, and travelling (sort of hard to get to therapy when you can’t leave the house) but, I finally got the help I needed and got better.
I’m better now, and am so thankful to have had such a wonderful man through it all. I know if anything were to ever happen to me, physically or mentally…he’d be there for me.

Bri_L's avatar

My wife gave ignored and gave up on me. Not good. Still married but not good.

Likeradar's avatar

When I don’t medicate my depression, I want lots of alone time. That’s not healthy for a relationship. I mean, everyone needs different amounts of time to themselves, but the amount I need doesn’t exactly fit into healthy relationship patterns. Even when I’m there, I’m not really there. My motivation is also shot… I don’t want sex, to go out, or be touched.

I’m not perfect on meds, but I’m a whole hell of a lot better. It’s vitally important for me to be in a relationship with someone who understands depression and why I have some days/weeks that I’m just not quite right and who will do things to help me through.

The bummer about my med of choice, Prozac, is that it’s a libido killer. Once the deed is being done I can get more into it, but pretty much never wanting it to start is a bummer in a relationship, and another reason why it’s so important to have an understanding and sensitive partner.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

When I had postpartum depression, I was not able to function, let alone be intimate – yes I tried pushing him away, he stayed by me, somewhat…but I don’t think he dealt all that well with what was happening to me – he kept pushing me and pressuring me to go to ‘support groups’ and well, I learned later, he kind of liked me all weak, made him feel strong – I broke it off soon after

CMaz's avatar

There was a time when depression was a sigh of character.

Bri_L's avatar

Thank gosh that isn’t true anymore. Or it shouldn’t be.

amoreno06's avatar

hm. all of you gladly accepted the help that was offered by your SO.
i can’t get my SO to open up.
he says it’s private and basically that it’s not my business.
i want to help and be there for him. but the only way i can help is by just leaving him alone..

Bri_L's avatar

I didn’t get any help from my SO/wife.

She won’t accept my help either.

I wish I had answers. I have chosen to just try and be there for her. Try and be extra understanding.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@amoreno06—oh no, that would really bother me, i’msorry

amoreno06's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir it would bother you if you were me or him?

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@amoreno06 oh, if I were you..I simply couldn’t be in a relationship where there isn’t full disclosure and my current relationship suffered a few bumps because of my partner’s inability to share certain things with me

amoreno06's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir yea..i though i could deal with it all and not really bother me that he doesn’t want to include me in his life like that.
but it’s starting to get to me and if he doesn’t want to include me in his life and have me try and help him, i worry about what else he might not share with me..

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@amoreno06 it’s not an irrational worry

Kraken's avatar

Depression is weak mindedness. It must be overcome by mental toughness.
Yeah that sounds rude but there is no other non-chemical way to fight and defeat depression.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Kraken depression isn’t always non-chemical and therefore you can’t fight it in a non-chemical way and anyone who thinks that people should just ‘tough it out’ haven’t been through what I’ve been through when I had depression

Likeradar's avatar

@Kraken May you never have true depression… and if you ever do, may you be mentally tough enough to ignore your own ridiculous advice.

Lorenita's avatar

Actually depression did affect my relationship.. but SSRI’s did the most harm.. blocking my emotions and affecting my hability to love, to feel passion.. belive it or not.. that’s the way it is..

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