General Question

Jude's avatar

Opposites attract; do you think that's true for the most part? Are you the opposite of your partner?

Asked by Jude (32134points) June 17th, 2009

Do you tend to date people who are unlike you or similar in personality??

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36 Answers

Facade's avatar

Opposites may attract in the beginning, but later on lead to a rocky relationship.

My babe and I are pretty similar in the areas that matter.

chyna's avatar

My ex and I were born on the same month and day. His mom and my mom’s birthdays were a few days apart, same for our dads, we had the same piece of junk car, didn’t like our food to touch… and it went on and on. We married but grew apart a few years later.

Blondesjon's avatar

This is cool. I have an Internet relationship simmering right now between @daloon and I.

It is cool because @daloon and I are polar opposites, yet we still maintain a threadbare civililty with each other. You would think that both of us, with our intelligence, wit, and completely unrealistic view of life would be at each other’s throats, no holds barred, getting modded all the time.

It doesn’t happen. We still keep it tongue-in-cheek (no pun intended).

Some folks would say that we have a subconscious, mutual respect for each other.

I say that love is in the air…

rexpresso's avatar

@Facade I wonder if the similarities between you and your partner are more in terms of values? Because I believe in terms of psychological functioning opposites really do attract and complement — I am very adept of the theory. At least for me, I prefer partners who are different from me… because even in the short term it is enough for me to become annoyed at seeing my dark side in the other person. I’d rather be with someone whose dark side is something I can inspire to better — and vice-versa. When two people are alike, unless they are perfect which obviously nobody is I believe they will be missing out on growth opportunities… I recommend this discussion too

Tink's avatar

Similar. Right now since today weeeeee :)

Aethelwine's avatar

Yes. I’m the good cop, he’s the bad cop.

rexpresso's avatar

@jonsblond btw did you get the bad cop to do the KWML test? If I’m not mistaken you were going to do that.

Likeradar's avatar

Yes, for sure. Sometimes.

My guy is very logically minded, not particularly social, very tidy, scientific, very skinny, not into pop culture, mathematical, not impulsive, and hates to shop.
I am… not those things.

We’re both laid back, but about almost none of the same things. We’re both smart, but we’re smart about almost none of the same things.

Sometimes it can be annoying, and sometimes it causes friction. But it also creates endless things to talk about, and knowing him has opened my eyes to different ways to see the world. I think we have a nice yin and yang dynamic going in our relationship. The parts of us that are opposite enhance and balance each other.

rexpresso's avatar

@Likeradar with such description I would be so interested to know the results from both of you at if you’d like to take a peek. Disclaimer: it sends a newsletter that tries to sell you stuff. Good, great stuff anyway… but at the other topic that fact generated immense controversy! Anyway he’s not a spammer I can assure you.

Aethelwine's avatar

@rexpresso No. I’ve always been the good girl attracted to the “bad” guy. I was fortunate that the “bad” guy turned out to be a loving husband and father.

filmfann's avatar

My wife and I are not opposites. We are, however, completely different flavors.

rexpresso's avatar

@jonsblond I checked the other discussion (KWML) and now see I confused you with someone else — sorry for that. Anyways, I’m curious if your husband is the Warrior profile on KWML.

Aethelwine's avatar

@rexpresso Interesting! I’ll have him take the test.

He’s 61.5% magician. Only 7.7% warrior. Hmmm…

La_chica_gomela's avatar

I think the best relationships often come from finding the right balance of similarities and differences.

My honey and I have very similar outlooks on life and philosophies, but we have very different interests and hobbies, so it works out sort of beautifully. We agree about fundamental issues, and at the same time, we’re both always teaching each other new things.

Likeradar's avatar

@rexpresso Thanks but I’m really not interested in online personality tests.

zephyr826's avatar

I prefer to think that instead of being “opposites”, we fill in each other’s gaps to create a better super-entity, much like Captain Planet, now that I think about it.

phoenyx's avatar

Enough differences to keep it interesting; enough in common to keep it together.

hug_of_war's avatar

We’‘re really alike in a lot of ways, but at the same time, I don’t feel like I’m dating the male version of me.

cyn's avatar

personality profile can be described as 30.8% Magician, 23.1% Lover, 23.1% Warrior, and 23.1% King/Queen.
we’re alike :)) the only difference is that i’m a female and he’s a male
although opposites do attract… X)

shrubbery's avatar

In my limited experience, opposites attract. My best friend and I, who started off as a couple in a very broad sense of the word, are almost completely opposite. My boyfriend and I are, maybe not opposite but approach many things differently. When I tried to change so that wasn’t the case it didn’t work, so I’m happy with the yin and yang thing.

Saturated_Brain's avatar

Actually, interestingly enough, a study was done somewhere (I can’t remember where or when I read it, was a year or two back) which said that actually, contrary to what people say, the more similar two people are, the more likely they are to be attracted to each other. So sorry to destroy that little piece of folksy wisdom there.

ubersiren's avatar

I am totally the Dharma to my husband’s Greg.

Likeradar's avatar

@ubersiren I love that way of looking at it! Consider yourself plagiarized…

ubersiren's avatar

@Likeradar : Hahahaha… you’re welcome to it!

noelasun's avatar

My SO and I are very similar in that we have lots of common ground in interests and more importantly values. However, we go about them in completely different ways.
I met him freshman year in collage, and he was in my “core” we had all the same classes. I became completely smitten with him after the first semester not that I wasn’t already really interested at first sight, from all the insights I had gained by having him in my classes. It made me eager to include him in more of my life, and see what new things he could share with me.

wundayatta's avatar

You wish, @Blondesjon! I will admit to a grudging admiration (and appreciation) for some of your humorous efforts to defuse the tension. However, I’m of the opinion that opposites don’t attract. Just as politics makes strange bedfellows (it’s just a metaphor, people), so, apparently, does fluther. But don’t be thinking about a script for one of those buddy movies…. or maybe…. ah, never mind.

Better to get along than to go for the jugular. However, as you so rightfully said, the civility is quite threadbare. In other places, we might even be called trolls, at least, with respect to each other. What do you say?—I’ll take this end of the bridge; you take the other, and we’ll see if those billygoats can get across this time!

Blondesjon's avatar

@daloon . . .Every James Bond needs a Blofeld.

filmfann's avatar

@Blondesjon I hear they are combining the two best Bond villians…Blofeld and Odd-Job, into one supervillian…Blo-Job!

rexpresso's avatar

@jonsblond interesting, you’re definitely complementary in terms of active/passive, you give him the calm he needs to slow down, and he gives you the energy you sometimes need to get going. Makes sense? Now what I’m curious: you’re both on the emotional side, at least according to the test. Do you feel like what perhaps lacks in your relationship is a little bit more rationality?

@cyndihugs contrary to @jonsblond you have a very centered, integrated personality, so it seems. Your husband likely has a very centered personality as per the test, I would say.

wundayatta's avatar

@Blondesjon I tend to think of you more as a Hannibal Lecter than an Erst Stavro Blofeld.

cyn's avatar

@rexpresso you stand correctly :))

Aethelwine's avatar

@rexpresso The only part correct there is me being emotional. The rest = fail.

Blondesjon's avatar

@daloon . . .When you’re in the shower…by yourself?

wundayatta's avatar

@Blondesjon Down boy! Down boy! You’re drooling!

rexpresso's avatar

@jonsblond interesting. Care to develop?

@cyndihugs your husband did the test too?

Aethelwine's avatar

@rexpresso I am not passive, I don’t need anyone to get me going. I’m a very restless person. Everything you said about our relationship is completely wrong. Your personality test was entertainment for me, a 15 question test will not and does not describe what my relationship is like with my husband.

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