Isn't the pre-wedding consummation requirement a universally known tradition?
Or, one I just made up?
What the hell is going on here, tonight?
And, where the hell is that monkey? He can answer this…he knows everything!
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what do you wish to know my child?
@eponymoushipster…Oh there you are. I need some help convincing @sccrowell,...well you know
I like the tradition of consummation sans wedding.
@btko…Well, if need be…but, I’m sure I’m getting married Friday…and to @sccrowell if she can get there on time. If not, I’m open to a substitute.
It’s a known medical fact that this is a biologic requirement. There’s no refuting science!
I’ve never heard of that tradition. I thought the idea is to consummate after the wedding.
@wtf have you hit your head on something? Geez! We all know that @sccrowell is correct!
@eponymoushipster….Actually, I convinced her not to wait about five years ago. But its been a slow week…she says she has been very busy, but think it’s the old story: make’ em wait so he’ll really appreciate it!
@Facade: No, no, no. After the wedding is the reception. And the you have to deal with annoying family members until wayyyy after they should have gone. And then you are tired. No, before the wedding is ideal.
i’m open to the idea of deflowering the bride, if that’s what you’re getting at.
@shilolo….Thanks, Doc! More credibility coming from you. @sccrowell, damn it…get your butt to fluther, now!!!
She should understand that your health is at risk… certain accumulated fluids will eventually seek an outlet and can damage your prostate! Blue balls are no joking matter!
De-flower I say!
@EmpressPixie That’s why you leave at a certain time, like my hubby and I did! We were very clear…we were outta there at a certain time. I had a surprise ready for him and I wasn’t going to let those damn stragglers ruin it!
@whatthefluther that’s why i’m here. you get her to Philly, that cherry is as good as popped!
@sccrowell….Two doctors agree! It’s a medical miracle, I tell you!
@YARNLADY depends on your definition of blaphemy.
I personally subscribe to the Bill Clinton dictionary:
“Did you have sexual relations with that woman?” “depends on your definition of ‘have’ ”
@eponymoushipster…I get her to Philly and you’ll find me going from eatery to eatery gorging myself on PCS sandwiches!
Oral sex in the limo afterwards is definitely worth the wait!
@whatthefluther hey, do whatever you got to to stay busy. either way, lots of meat and grease will be involved. lol.
@jonsblond i enjoy your idea on this.
…and to think @dannyc is wondering if solitude is good for you?!
Our limo driver drove around the blocks a few times.
just sayin’
blow jobs are always the answer. unless the question is “What would you want from your grandma for your birthday?”
Where’s Blondesjon? You guys got long blocks around your parts?
@whatthefluther where is she, btw? shouldn’t she be in here, discussing this?
haha so if you’re older the answer can be blowjobs?
don’t complain Doc, it’s a good thing..
@whatthefluther My man needs to work in the morning. He takes care of his family. :)
Oh yeah, before I forget… that was me… and those limo’s all had security cameras…
Search “Jonsblonde” at www.pornhub.com you’re quite the celebrity…
lol well in his defense bucky… snickers are tassssttyyyy
@eponymoushipster so i play a hand of black-jack with a priest ONE TIME and suddenly it’s a crime?
Gee…I step away for just a minute and look what happens
I went to hooters with a priest once…
true story
then a strip club…
weird night…
@eponymoushipster but it’s definitely a strip club…
just more of a Taiwanese-esque strip club…
go ask a sailor… they’ll tell you all about it…
Hmmm…she just got home…she should be along shortly. Now I’m looking for support here guys. The two doc thing did impress her,but it aint a done deal yet..
tell her i’m a doctor. a sexy doctor.
I’m a Scientist technically… two Docs and a scientist… how can someone say no to that…
3 docs – *hello, sexy doctor?!
God damn it… everyone’s a fucking doctor these days…
You can’t say no to tradition…
tell if you don’t, a puppy dies.
someone go find a puppy
Puppy? Check… my neighbors never shuts up… you’ll be doing everyone a favor.
Ok, my mod head is spinning… but my jelly heart is LMFAO.
No comment from WTF in a while. My work is done here….
And let the “sexing” start…....now
I’m kind of jealous I missed that fad in highschool. you try it now but it’s just not the same without the possibility of 40 year old teachers stumbling upon underage porn…
Too dang EARLY!!! 9:00am
I’ll NEVER be able to be on time!
9AM?!? What were you guys thinking? WTF says he’ll get you there on time… good luck! :)
@sccrowell and @whatthefluther i couldn’t help but think of this songafter reading the 9:00am post…. so from me to you.. enjoy the song :)
it’s old and corny… sue me
@Dr_C…Thanks Doc….very nice. I love My Fair Lady…haven’t seen it in ages. I’m getting married in the morning….ding dong the bells are going to chime….
awesome thread. best laugh I’ve had all day
I’m sorry, but I couldn’t read every comment here. So what’s the scoop? Has there been a resolution to this conundrum?
@daloon the resolution is sweet sweet mama jamma
all this talk is making me want to consummate right now.
^^Was there just a discussion involving my genitalia?
@daloon,....Yes everything is good. It was crazy all over fluther last night. When things started to calm down, I decided to heat things back up. I figured I’d see if my fluther brothers and sisters would support me and they did. Well, all of them but that damn monkey. He has got sccrowell convinced she just has to visit Philadelphia. Nah, the monkey is cool too and too cool. Although his wife @jonsblond joined the party, @Blondesjon was noticeably absent. However, his genitalia were prominently featured. See ya…wtf
@whatthefluther . . .Doesn’t matter to me so long as “my genitalia” spilled from your lips.
why am i always a damn monkey? it’s damn sexy monkey.
@eponymoushipster . . .Not everyone wants to fuck you Dr.Zaius.
Simian hygiene is actually quite appalling.
and @whatthefluther did say something about consummating…
@Blondesjon…Actually, @jonsblond made it clear they spilled from her lips. Don’t worry, @ABoyNamedBoobs03 can clear this all up…he has you on film (actually, your wife got star credit…you were merely in a supporting role…a short, very brief cameo is what I heard).
@eh…OK monkey man…you got sccrowell calling you that damn sexy monkey…isn’t that enough? Hopefully she won’t call me that at the ceremony and consummation (boy, I love that word).
Hey guys, check out the blog…I feel so exposed!
My two cents: Wait til after the wedding. It’s only one more day, sheesh.
@chyna well, today’s the wedding day, so my only advice to @whatthefluther is: run silent, run deep. (well, maybe not silent.)
Today? Why did I think it was friday?
It is Friday… silly monkey.
sorry, i was drunk on fermented banana juice. my bad.
Ok, my answer stands. Hold out til after the wedding.
This guy Charlie I knew thought a pre-wedding consummation with the Maid-of-Honor was a universally known tradition.
@cprevite depends on what the maid of honor looks like, and how good she is at keeping a secret.
I can’t believe I’m going to be a
Mrs in 6 1/2 hrs. I still don’t have my dress. And yes, you sexy little monkey, Friday is the day!
@sccrowell You might want to run out and get that soon.
@sccrowell: you don’t have your dress YET!
Jesus H. Christ in a handbasket – get a move on woman.
crazy kids are making me nervous
according to my clock, right now you have 9 minuets!
Is the wedding taking place, in real time, on fluther?
What time (PST) are they scheduled to tie the knot?
SO?????? HOW WAS IT????????
@EmpressPixie thanx for that.. i hadn’t checked my “questions for you” tab yet
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