General Question

whatthefluther's avatar

Isn't the pre-wedding consummation requirement a universally known tradition?

Asked by whatthefluther (13812points) June 17th, 2009

Or, one I just made up?

What the hell is going on here, tonight?

And, where the hell is that monkey? He can answer this…he knows everything!

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

103 Answers

eponymoushipster's avatar

what do you wish to know my child?

whatthefluther's avatar

@eponymoushipster…Oh there you are. I need some help convincing @sccrowell,...well you know

btko's avatar

I like the tradition of consummation sans wedding.

arnbev959's avatar

I like wtf’s tradition.

eponymoushipster's avatar

@whatthefluther she feels waiting is the way to go?

whatthefluther's avatar

@btko…Well, if need be…but, I’m sure I’m getting married Friday…and to @sccrowell if she can get there on time. If not, I’m open to a substitute.

shilolo's avatar

It’s a known medical fact that this is a biologic requirement. There’s no refuting science!

Facade's avatar

I’ve never heard of that tradition. I thought the idea is to consummate after the wedding.

cak's avatar

@wtf have you hit your head on something? Geez! We all know that @sccrowell is correct!

whatthefluther's avatar

@eponymoushipster….Actually, I convinced her not to wait about five years ago. But its been a slow week…she says she has been very busy, but think it’s the old story: make’ em wait so he’ll really appreciate it!

EmpressPixie's avatar

@Facade: No, no, no. After the wedding is the reception. And the you have to deal with annoying family members until wayyyy after they should have gone. And then you are tired. No, before the wedding is ideal.

eponymoushipster's avatar

i’m open to the idea of deflowering the bride, if that’s what you’re getting at.

whatthefluther's avatar

@shilolo….Thanks, Doc! More credibility coming from you. @sccrowell, damn it…get your butt to fluther, now!!!

Dr_C's avatar

She should understand that your health is at risk… certain accumulated fluids will eventually seek an outlet and can damage your prostate! Blue balls are no joking matter!

De-flower I say!

whatthefluther's avatar

@eponymoushipster….I know I can count on you, buddy!

cak's avatar

@EmpressPixie That’s why you leave at a certain time, like my hubby and I did! We were very clear…we were outta there at a certain time. I had a surprise ready for him and I wasn’t going to let those damn stragglers ruin it!

eponymoushipster's avatar

@whatthefluther that’s why i’m here. you get her to Philly, that cherry is as good as popped!

whatthefluther's avatar

@sccrowell….Two doctors agree! It’s a medical miracle, I tell you!

YARNLADY's avatar

Blasphemy~

Dr_C's avatar

@YARNLADY depends on your definition of blaphemy.
I personally subscribe to the Bill Clinton dictionary:
“Did you have sexual relations with that woman?” “depends on your definition of ‘have’ ”

whatthefluther's avatar

@eponymoushipster…I get her to Philly and you’ll find me going from eatery to eatery gorging myself on PCS sandwiches!

Aethelwine's avatar

Oral sex in the limo afterwards is definitely worth the wait!

eponymoushipster's avatar

@whatthefluther hey, do whatever you got to to stay busy. either way, lots of meat and grease will be involved. lol.

@jonsblond i enjoy your idea on this.

Dr_C's avatar

@jonsblond BEST ANSWER EVER

whatthefluther's avatar

…and to think @dannyc is wondering if solitude is good for you?!

Aethelwine's avatar

Our limo driver drove around the blocks a few times.

just sayin’

eponymoushipster's avatar

blow jobs are always the answer. unless the question is “What would you want from your grandma for your birthday?”

whatthefluther's avatar

Where’s Blondesjon? You guys got long blocks around your parts?

eponymoushipster's avatar

@whatthefluther where is she, btw? shouldn’t she be in here, discussing this?

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

@eponymoushipster Or if you’re priest asks what you’ll do for a snickers bar…

eponymoushipster's avatar

@ABoyNamedBoobs03 i’m not 12, no worries there.

Dr_C's avatar

@whatthefluther when did this become about @jonsblond & @Blondesjon ‘s parts?

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

haha so if you’re older the answer can be blowjobs?

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

don’t complain Doc, it’s a good thing..

Aethelwine's avatar

@whatthefluther My man needs to work in the morning. He takes care of his family. :)

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

@jonsblond you better take Care of him then. :P

Aethelwine's avatar

@ABoyNamedBoobs03 I do. Just ask the limo driver. ;)

Dr_C's avatar

@ABoyNamedBoobs03 @eponymoushipster blowjobs are ALWAYS the answer (except in the example bucky gave). In fact i would like to remind everyone of this fantastic world holiday.

Cheers

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

Oh yeah, before I forget… that was me… and those limo’s all had security cameras…

Search “Jonsblonde” at www.pornhub.com you’re quite the celebrity…

eponymoushipster's avatar

@ABoyNamedBoobs03 see, @Dr_C is cool with BJing a priest for snickers.

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

lol well in his defense bucky… snickers are tassssttyyyy

Dr_C's avatar

@eponymoushipster so i play a hand of black-jack with a priest ONE TIME and suddenly it’s a crime?

eponymoushipster's avatar

@Dr_C call it what you will dude.

@ABoyNamedBoobs03 yeah nuts and nuget. he’s crazy for them both.

whatthefluther's avatar

Gee…I step away for just a minute and look what happens

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

I went to hooters with a priest once…

true story

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

then a strip club…

weird night…

eponymoushipster's avatar

@ABoyNamedBoobs03 that booth behind his office is not Hooters.

@whatthefluther ask her if you guys can just mutually masturbate. a happy medium.

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

@eponymoushipster but it’s definitely a strip club…

just more of a Taiwanese-esque strip club…

eponymoushipster's avatar

@ABoyNamedBoobs03 i don’t want to know what that means.

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

go ask a sailor… they’ll tell you all about it…

whatthefluther's avatar

Hmmm…she just got home…she should be along shortly. Now I’m looking for support here guys. The two doc thing did impress her,but it aint a done deal yet..

eponymoushipster's avatar

tell her i’m a doctor. a sexy doctor.

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

I’m a Scientist technically… two Docs and a scientist… how can someone say no to that…

eponymoushipster's avatar

3 docs – *hello, sexy doctor?!

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

God damn it… everyone’s a fucking doctor these days…

arnbev959's avatar

You can’t say no to tradition…

eponymoushipster's avatar

tell if you don’t, a puppy dies.

someone go find a puppy

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

Puppy? Check… my neighbors never shuts up… you’ll be doing everyone a favor.

augustlan's avatar

Ok, my mod head is spinning… but my jelly heart is LMFAO.

shilolo's avatar

No comment from WTF in a while. My work is done here….

Dr_C's avatar

Consumation in 3…2….1….

eponymoushipster's avatar

And let the “sexing” start…....now

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

I’m kind of jealous I missed that fad in highschool. you try it now but it’s just not the same without the possibility of 40 year old teachers stumbling upon underage porn…

Judi's avatar

@whatthefluther ; It’s one day! What time is the wedding anyway?

sccrowell's avatar

Too dang EARLY!!! 9:00am
I’ll NEVER be able to be on time!

augustlan's avatar

9AM?!? What were you guys thinking? WTF says he’ll get you there on time… good luck! :)

Dr_C's avatar

@sccrowell and @whatthefluther i couldn’t help but think of this songafter reading the 9:00am post…. so from me to you.. enjoy the song :)
it’s old and corny… sue me

whatthefluther's avatar

@Dr_C…Thanks Doc….very nice. I love My Fair Lady…haven’t seen it in ages. I’m getting married in the morning….ding dong the bells are going to chime….

Dr_C's avatar

@whatthefluther I do what I can. get me to the church on time!

cookieman's avatar

awesome thread. best laugh I’ve had all day

wundayatta's avatar

I’m sorry, but I couldn’t read every comment here. So what’s the scoop? Has there been a resolution to this conundrum?

eponymoushipster's avatar

@daloon the resolution is sweet sweet mama jamma

jca's avatar

all this talk is making me want to consummate right now.

Blondesjon's avatar

^^Was there just a discussion involving my genitalia?

eponymoushipster's avatar

@Blondesjon don’t worry, it was a short conversation.

whatthefluther's avatar

@daloon,....Yes everything is good. It was crazy all over fluther last night. When things started to calm down, I decided to heat things back up. I figured I’d see if my fluther brothers and sisters would support me and they did. Well, all of them but that damn monkey. He has got sccrowell convinced she just has to visit Philadelphia. Nah, the monkey is cool too and too cool. Although his wife @jonsblond joined the party, @Blondesjon was noticeably absent. However, his genitalia were prominently featured. See ya…wtf

Blondesjon's avatar

@whatthefluther . . .Doesn’t matter to me so long as “my genitalia” spilled from your lips.

eponymoushipster's avatar

why am i always a damn monkey? it’s damn sexy monkey.

eponymoushipster's avatar

@Blondesjon did you just say your genitalia should spill on @whatthefluther‘s lips?
wild wild stuff, dude.

Blondesjon's avatar

@eponymoushipster . . .Not everyone wants to fuck you Dr.Zaius.

Simian hygiene is actually quite appalling.

and @whatthefluther did say something about consummating…

whatthefluther's avatar

@Blondesjon…Actually, @jonsblond made it clear they spilled from her lips. Don’t worry, @ABoyNamedBoobs03 can clear this all up…he has you on film (actually, your wife got star credit…you were merely in a supporting role…a short, very brief cameo is what I heard).
@eh…OK monkey man…you got sccrowell calling you that damn sexy monkey…isn’t that enough? Hopefully she won’t call me that at the ceremony and consummation (boy, I love that word).
Hey guys, check out the blog…I feel so exposed!

eponymoushipster's avatar

@Blondesjon well, i hope not everyone.

chyna's avatar

My two cents: Wait til after the wedding. It’s only one more day, sheesh.

eponymoushipster's avatar

@chyna well, today’s the wedding day, so my only advice to @whatthefluther is: run silent, run deep. (well, maybe not silent.)

chyna's avatar

Today? Why did I think it was friday?

augustlan's avatar

It is Friday… silly monkey.

eponymoushipster's avatar

sorry, i was drunk on fermented banana juice. my bad.

chyna's avatar

Ok, my answer stands. Hold out til after the wedding.

cookieman's avatar

This guy Charlie I knew thought a pre-wedding consummation with the Maid-of-Honor was a universally known tradition.

eponymoushipster's avatar

@cprevite depends on what the maid of honor looks like, and how good she is at keeping a secret.

sccrowell's avatar

I can’t believe I’m going to be a
Mrs in 6 1/2 hrs. I still don’t have my dress. And yes, you sexy little monkey, Friday is the day!

chyna's avatar

@sccrowell You might want to run out and get that soon.

cookieman's avatar

@sccrowell: you don’t have your dress YET!

Jesus H. Christ in a handbasket – get a move on woman.

crazy kids are making me nervous

Judi's avatar

according to my clock, right now you have 9 minuets!

wundayatta's avatar

Is the wedding taking place, in real time, on fluther?

cookieman's avatar

What time (PST) are they scheduled to tie the knot?

Dr_C's avatar

SO?????? HOW WAS IT????????

Dr_C's avatar

@EmpressPixie thanx for that.. i hadn’t checked my “questions for you” tab yet

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