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QuestionGirl's avatar

How does one know when it is right?

Asked by QuestionGirl (7points) June 18th, 2009 from iPhone

I am quite young, about to start college, and I am in a relationship. We have been dating for about two years and I feel absolutely devoted to this man and I am in love. We can talk about anything and everything and we never properly argue. I find myself thinking about marriage but then get scared because perhaps I am too young. In the fall we are starting different colleges and so our relationship will be long distance. Do you think I am foolish for falling so in love for so young? Are long distance relationships do-able or impossible? And finally am I utterly bonkers for wanting to marry this man so young?

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19 Answers

Tink's avatar

When you fall in love it doesn’t matter how far away it is…

eponymoushipster's avatar

long distance relationships are hard, and being 19 and heading into a new phase of life (college) and it’s trappings is only another difficulty.

QuestionGirl's avatar

also has anyone here on Fluther ever found the love of their life when they were young?

nikipedia's avatar

If he’s the love of your life now, he’ll be the love of your life when you’re done with college. Hang in there and see how things go during this period of drastic change, yeah?

gymnastchick729's avatar

If you were really in love, and you were sure about it.
Would you question?

Dr_C's avatar

it’s natural to question these things… especially for one so young. The distance will only serve as a test for your relationship. If it’s as strong as you feel it is there’s no reason why it shouldn’t survive.

Aethelwine's avatar

@QuestionGirl My husband and I met when we were 20, married at 21, and have been married for 17 years now.

It’s not foolish to fall in love so young. It can work for many couples, but it’s not easy. I have never been in a long distance relationship, so I can only guess that it would be even more difficult. @nikipedia gave great advice. I wish you the best and good luck in college. :)

LC_Beta's avatar

I’m with @nikipedia and @Dr_C.

Long-distance relationships are tough, but definitely doable if you can keep the drama to a minimum, stay faithful, and keep up the communication. Try using Skype or another webcam application to talk. My partner and I rent the same movie every Friday night and watch it “together” on camera or phone. It starts to feel like a real date.

casheroo's avatar

You can be in love, and not get married. If the thought of marriage is freaking you doesn’t mean you don’t love the guy, you just aren’t ready for marriage.
Go to college, continue dating him, and see how you feel once you graduate. You might be ready for marriage at that point.

Clair's avatar

I agree with everyone above. Just give it time, if you’re in love now, you will be later.
Love is possible while you’re young, but it is hard.

SeventhSense's avatar

Well you will find out soon enough when you have time apart, but be honest with yourself if you want to experience another relationship or have some more time single. It’s certainly possible but there are many new developments in your twenties that can contribute to an expanded awareness. The awareness of which can change eveything you knew for certain just moments before.

filmfann's avatar

My mom was 16, my dad 18, when they married. They were married till death.
That said, I am glad I didn’t marry when I was that young.
I was very, very lucky to find my wife, which was when I was 27.

Tink's avatar

@filmfannWTF? 16?!

filmfann's avatar

Ya, and happy together forever

Tink's avatar

Woah dude, That must have been intense love

kerryyylynn's avatar

Its not foolish, but it is hard. It could work, but it definately could also fail. Long distance relationships are damn difficult, but that doesnt mean that it means an eminent end for your relationship. Anddddddd the fact that you two dont fight doesnt mean you have no problems, just that youre not comfortable or sure enough to bring them up.

Clair's avatar

@filmfann Wow! That’s amazing about your parents. Truly amazing. My mom also married when she was 16 but needless to say, it didn’t work out so well. Not even in the 2 marriages after that.
@QuestionGirl With that above being said, you just have to be choosy and give it time. Real love lasts forever so there shouldn’t be rush.

shortysith's avatar

I was in love with a man for three years and we went to separate colleges and it didn’t work out. It wasn’t because it wasn’t love, but you change a LOT in your 20’s…it is difficult to be with the same person because you change so much, and if you have someone who grows and changes with you, you are pretty lucky. Don’t give up on it! You can be in love, go to college…see what happens. Don’t revolve your life around it, but it has happened for many people. My high school teachers were high school sweethearts, went to different colleges across the country, and married when the graduated. It happens :)

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