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DominicX's avatar

Is it okay to talk about something positive in your life, or is it flaunting?

Asked by DominicX (28762points) June 21st, 2009

For example, many times when people talk about their good grades, they are accused of flaunting, but talking about bad grades is perfectly acceptable. People can talk about not having enough money, but talking about that vacation to Mexico you have planned is no-no territory. I for one think that there is nothing wrong with talking about positive and fortunate things in your life. There is a difference between simply talking about it and comparing yourself to others and making sure that people know you are fortunate. That would be flaunting, bragging, being arrogant, etc. It seems to me that only insecure people will be bothered by hearing other peoples’ positive situations and stories.

Also, sometimes I get a little tired of hearing about negativity all the time and want to hear something positive.

Flaunting: to parade about, wave conspicuously in the air.

Having a conversation about the matter and talking about your situations in a respectful tone is NOT flaunting. IMNSHO. What do you think?

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21 Answers

sanari's avatar

Do you care what anyone else thinks? You feel pretty strongly about it already.

Personally I believe people will get good news from me if they ask specifically. I don’t volunteer it.

“Maaaaan, I got a B on that test. What’d you get?”
“Heh, I got an A. Congrats on the B, want to study together?”

DominicX's avatar

@sanari

If I didn’t care, would I be asking the question?

I’m a person who cares about definitions of words. A definition is objective. The word “flaunting” has a definition and in many cases it is not being used correctly. I’ve seen instances where people think 2 straight people kissing in public is fine, but 2 gay people kissing in public is “flaunting” and shoving their lifestyle down people’s throats. That is what we call “hypocrisy”.

And your example is exactly what I think. Hence why I said “respectful tone”. But what if the person who got a “B” assumes that the other person did better than them? What if the second person says “I got a C”? Does that mean the person with the “B” was wrong for volunteering their grade because theirs is better? Personally, I don’t think it matters which one “goes first”. It matters how you say it. And of course, it’s all affected by different people and their relationships.

sanari's avatar

@DominicX : There are people who ask questions not because they care for the responses, but because they wish to poll to see what the majority/minority thinks.

DominicX's avatar

@sanari

The mere fact that I responded to your response (and frankly, didn’t get an answer) should show that I do care about the responses.

sanari's avatar

My answer was in the first response. I personally don’t think it’s okay for me [emphasis on me] to give good news unless specifically asked for. I just don’t, and that’s that. That was my answer.

DominicX's avatar

@sanari

Would you give bad news? I know some people who never want to give bad news because they think it’s “complaining”.

Blondesjon's avatar

It’s always ok to talk about whatever you want to talk about.

It’s up to who is listening to decide how to react to what you are talking about.

sanari's avatar

For the same reason, I do not give bad news, unless people ask. I do see it as complaining. When speaking of bad news, I keep it brief unless they ply for more – then I share as much as I am comfortable with.

DominicX's avatar

@Blondesjon

Oh, I know. I guess I was asking people whether they personally would be bothered by people talking about positive things and consider it flaunting (whatever they may be). My answer is no. But that doesn’t mean that nothing people talk about bothers me. For example, I don’t want to hear about L.A. I’ve heard enough about it; I’m not going to college there, and I don’t want to keep wondering what it would’ve been like. It doesn’t mean I think people talking about L.A. are flaunting, they’re not. It’s just something that I am sick of hearing about. And I will get over it, don’t worry… :P

sanari's avatar

Well, I personally don’t care what others talk about. They can chatter their heads off for all I care. Most of my friends do, and I listen.

KatawaGrey's avatar

@DominicX: I don’t really have anything to add, I just wanted to give you a GQ.

Darwin's avatar

Talk about it by all means. Typically, honest enthusiasm is happily shared by friends and family. Just don’t do it meaning to make others feel bad, and you should probably skip chatting about such stuff to total strangers.

Facade's avatar

I think it’s great to talk abuot good fortune. It’s all about how you deliver the information.

PandoraBoxx's avatar

I think the differentiating factor that needs to be mitigated is jealousy. People are never jealous of you when things go wrong, but they are when it appears that good things “just happen” for you like good grades or a nice vacation. They are oblivious to the fact that while they were out screwing around, you were home studying, or why they were spending money going out drinking, you were saving for a vacation or working extra hours. They would not be jealous of having to put in the effort, and they don’t see the connection between effort and payoff.

Perhaps the thing to do is when you talk about good things, talk about what it cost in effort and priorities to get there. What you say will probably just reinforce what their parents have been trying to tell them.

augustlan's avatar

I love it when my friends, family and the jellies share good news with me! Share your good fortune with those who matter… they won’t mind. Those who mind, don’t matter.

KatawaGrey's avatar

I love hearing good news.

TylerM's avatar

I think it depends on the scenario. To take it the extreme, you shouldn’t go telling stories of a cruise you went on at a funeral.

But if you’re at a dinner party and talking about life and leave it open for others then it’s not flaunting. The key is to leave it open, don’t restrict others from telling their stories of good times. And if someone isn’t having a good time, cheer them up the best way you know how.

Bluefreedom's avatar

If you’re on the receiving end of good fortune in your life or you work hard to achieve accomplishments, significant or otherwise, that is something to be proud of and happy about so why not talk about it and spread the news? I don’t see that as bragging or flaunting anything. It is your life and what comes from you is the most important consideration of all.

If someone else interprets your successes in a selfish, insecure, or judgemental manner, that is on them and it is something that they need to come to terms with. Always be happy with what you’ve achieved and never forget just how much it means to you and what it took for you to get there.

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

Another situation where tact comes into play.

For example if you just got a promotion at your job, that’s great news for you but perhaps someone who has been looking for work for 3 months doesn’t share you enthusiasm over the event.

There’s no law saying you can’t talk about the good things that happen in your life but sometimes you have to sit on that.

Nially_Bob's avatar

It’s entirely context dependant. I am happy to discuss the positive aspects of my life with anyone (within reason) however, should I be stating such to, for example, start a conversation or after someone has made mention of some particularly negative circumstances they’re in what I am saying could easily be considered flaunting. Though it should in my opinion, intention does not come into the matter as people generally expect others to understand when they are acting in certain manners and in what contexts certain mannerisms are frowned upon.
To answer the question more directly, I believe it is fine to discuss something positive in your life but one should take into account that others may perceive matters differently from themselves.

YARNLADY's avatar

I love sharing my accomplishments and those of my family and friends. I don’t see it as flaunting at all. However, I do have a daughter in law who comes from a very sad background, and she has a hard time understanding sharing. My son says when she used to watch the videos of our family gatherings she cried, because her family was never like that.

Now she is a happy member of our family, and has participated in several family gatherings over the past three years.

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