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creativejuices's avatar

Anyone have any good tips for being in the delivery room?

Asked by creativejuices (490points) June 21st, 2009

My friend asked me to be in the delivery room with her when she has her second child. The father will be there (as long as she doesn’t kick him out!) Any tips or websites you learned a lot from? Words of wisdom?

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23 Answers

Darwin's avatar

I would suggest staying out of people’s way.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

I was in a delivery room for the first time when my best friend of fourteen years had her baby. I was also in there with her boyfriend and definitely wasn’t sure what to do with myself at first. If you’re in there, be prepared to help because you will most likely be asked to contribute in one way or another. It may be that they ask you to help hold one of her legs (they did with me), or they may ask you to do a simple little task, such as keep wetting a washcloth to put on her forehead.

No worries, though. If they ask you to help, they’ll make it clear what they want you to do. If they have you hold one of her legs, they’ll demonstrate the proper way to do it. It’s a beautiful thing. Congratulations. :)

juwhite1's avatar

In my opinion, as long as you aren’t the one having the baby, you are already miles ahead! Just pay attention so that you don’t accidentally interfere with the medical staff, and enjoy a truly amazing experience.

Judi's avatar

Breathe. Wear comfortable shoes (I made that mistake with grandchild #2) Be prepared for hormone overload. My daughter looked me square in the eye, serious as a heart attack and said, “Eve was a bitch.”
Genisis 3:16.To the woman he said, “I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children.
Talk to her before hand and figure out what she wants. Some women like a cool wash cloth on their forehead and some don’t want to be touched. Don’t let it hurt your feelings if she snaps at you.

Likeradar's avatar

I was just in a delivery room in January! It is really an amazing, amazing experience.

Don’t take it personally at all if she yells at you.
Ask her BEFORE what she wants pictures of.
You will see all sorts of things you never wanted to see… poop, throwup, all sorts of blood and goo. Be prepared.
Tell her she’s being great no matter what.
Respect ANY decision she makes.
My friend was all about Judi’s washcloth idea.
Don’t be afraid to be touchy when she’s laboring… back rubs, foot rubs, whatever she wants.
My friend told me later that she really appreciated me making her stare into my eyes when she was struggling.

Congratulations… enjoy it!

Judi's avatar

@Likeradar ; My daughter would want to be touched one minute then snap “don’t touch me” the next. She DID make an effort to try to be nice. (She had heard how her mild mannered mother had cussed like a sailor while in labor.)

Likeradar's avatar

@Judi I kept telling her “you can do it!” Her response? “Who the fuck are you? Bob the Builder?!?!” We laughed about it later. :)

creativejuices's avatar

to ALL: thanks for the great stories and suggestions. She said that she will probably ask me to get the dad out of the room early, because I would be more loving. So I will have to take control of that situation. I realize that will more than likely change minutes later or even a few times but I will drag him where ever!

2late2be's avatar

Well I just had a girl 3 months ago, my husband was there And I wanted him to keep talking to while I wasn’t in pain, after the pain comes in DO NOT talk to her! LOL my husband was asking ‘does it hurt to much??’ and I was like, ‘don’t even ask, and don’t talk to me’ if she’s getting an epidural be by her side because that is a very uncomfortable and sometimes painful moment, and when the baby arrives just take all the pictures and video you can so that she can actually enjoy that later with no pain… I think that was all I needed at that moment, and enjoy the experience, my husband say it is the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, his kids being delivered….

Jeruba's avatar

I’ve been in the delivery room only when I was the one delivering. I remember that my husband’s voice was my lifeline. I just wanted him to keep talking to me. Not asking me questions, because I couldn’t answer, but just letting me know constantly that he was there. It wouldn’t have mattered what he said.

Later he told me he almost left because he thought I was ignoring him and he felt like he wasn’t doing any good. That was one time when I positively could not be paying attention to him. But I was so grateful that he didn’t leave because I had no other hold on the world outside the pain.

The second time around, we both knew the drill.

ubersiren's avatar

Do exactly what you’re told and nothing else. Do you have military experience?

wundayatta's avatar

My wife was in labor for about ten hours with our first child. I was massaging her practically the whole time. I got taken into a shower with her (with my clothes on). It was probably the most exhausting experience of my life, and yet, probably only one quarter as exhausting as what she was going through. She tried natural childbirth for our first child. She used an epidural for the second. That one was a lot easier on me, too.

casheroo's avatar

Okay, not sure if anyone mentioned it but..
Does she have a “birth plan”? She should have it written out, what she is willing to consent to and not willing to consent to, so her husband can give consent.
Also, I wrote mine down, but my husband knew exactly all my wishes which pretty much included
1.) No intervention to speed delivery. No pitocin, no vacuum, no forceps.
2.) No talk of c-section

I didn’t get the second. My OB harassed me to use a vacuum and a c-section for hours. I never gave up, and thankfully when the doctor tried to approach my husband (men can be convinced easily) he stood his ground for me.

Let her do her thing. Tell her to walk around, she doesn’t need to be on monitors 24/7. Walking uses gravity to get the baby out.
Listen to her. If she wants a back run, do it. If she wants a drink, don’t deny it because that’s what hospital staff says. They just don’t want to get peed on! My husband gave me ginger ale while I was in labor.
Good luck!

Blondesjon's avatar

Don’t look directly at the birth.

whitenoise's avatar

Giving the medical staff the space they need to work is more important than taking your picture.
And…. maybe you should consider not taking any pictures anyway.

Judi's avatar

@whitenoise, unless there is a problem it is not a medical procedure.

whitenoise's avatar

Sorry, here in the Netherlands we would be at home, most of the times when there is no reason to perceive it as a medical procedure. That doesn’t take away that it is more than merely that: it is a wonderous moment of seeing your child for the first time for instance.

tadpole's avatar

@creativejuices i say, with a name like this i don’t see you having problems… :-)

Val123's avatar

Prepare to feel totally helpless and useless and a little bit panicky.

tadpole's avatar

don’t mix first class with second class, and never ever open anyone else’s post….

ItsAHabit's avatar

Don’t faint.

Val123's avatar

Make sure your breath is fresh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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