What is/ are some of the best and/or most creative excuses to get out of work or anything else that you have either used or heard?

When I was in the 6th grade I pretended I had spontaneously lost my vision. I put on such a good show everyone bought it. I really hated sixth grade.

My friend once told my supervisor that i had chronic diarrhea (unbeknowst to me) so when i got back my friend was sitting there smirking and my supervisor suggested qiuetly that i go home…

I knew a co-worker from several years back that used the excuse not to come to work because he had to go to the doctor to get examined for an STD that he had contracted.

Is that really a piece of information you want floating around your work environment and among your fellow employees?

Hehe in 4th grade I pretended I couldn’t see so I wouldn’t have to present a project but it was worse because the teacher made me sit in font of the class to try reading it

I actually used one the other day. I said that I was water skiing and that my friend driving the boat took off when I wasn’t ready and I got whiplash. My boss bought it and was all like sympathetic and stuff, so then I kinda felt bad, but then I went to my friend’s birthday party and got all wasted and forgot all about it.

This is a true story. My boss had to miss work for a week because her Dad died.

Three weeks later, I got the call that my Dad had just passed on, so I had to call my boss and tell her my Dad just died, and I had to go home (to Colorado). I told her I wouldn’t be back to work, because I had to settle the estate. This was true, but I was really too embarrassed to go back anyway.

We had a girl come out of the bathroom and tell us her “butt was bleeding” and she wanted to go home. Just like that, didn’t appear to be mortified or anything. I called a manager for her to speak to, let them deal with it. I don’t know if she was bleeding, but I’d have come up with a better way of putting it. Like, I’m having some female problems or I’ve got some personal issues.

A girl I worked with called in sick one time because she had burned her eyelid with her curling iron – from trying to curl her eyelashes… not the brightest light in the chandelier shall we say?

Employee: I can’t come to work today I’m sick

Employer: This is the 5th day this month, just how sick are you?

Employee: Well I’m in bed with my sister!

My kid was suspended from school for cussing her coach. I’m going to get her to bring her back here and put her to work. (True story.)

My kid just got cut off in traffic and ran his bike into the back of a truck. I need to meet him at the emergency room. (True story.)

It’s a beautiful day and I’m walking in the long way to enjoy it. I’ll be a few hours late. (True story.)

I’m sick. I could tell you the gory details, but trust me. You don’t want to hear about it. (Total fabrication.)