General Question

missjena's avatar

How to you get your anger out?

Asked by missjena (910points) June 22nd, 2009 from iPhone

I had to good friends who really betrayed me in an absolutle terrible way. I am so mad I am enraged and cannot sleep. How do I stop feeling this way? There’s no talking to them so that is not an option. What they did to me was horrible. I hope the karma train meets up with both of them. How do I stop feeling so angry?

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29 Answers

Tink's avatar

Well I cry but thats not gonna help
Listen to some loud music and try falling asleep. it works for me

YARNLADY's avatar

Perhaps you can write a really honest letter explaining how you feel, and then put it in your hold draft file until you feel better. After that you can delete it. Do not put a send to address on it, or you could accidentally send it.

This is not to get back at them, this is to get your anger out of you.

Tink's avatar

@YARNLADY I once did that and ended up sending it…

YARNLADY's avatar

@Tink1113 ooooh noooo, never put the address in

Tink's avatar

@YARNLADY Yep I learned the hard way

DRinKJuice's avatar

sleep and think of other positives

Bobbydavid's avatar

Through my solicitor!
He deals with my anger management pretty sufficiently

susanc's avatar

“Getting your anger out” offers a vision of something like squeezing a zit, or yanking hair out of the sink trap, or projectile vomiting. Try this, instead: “letting your anger go where it belongs”. And that would be where? Good, you’re on your way.

rooeytoo's avatar

Yeah I agree with susanc, you might as well just feel it. They say depression is repressed anger, so it does no good to try to stuff you feelings.

I always give myself a time limit, revel in it until the time is up and then let go of it. Tell your head it is not allowed to think about it anymore, it is over. Then get busy with something that occupies your entire attention so you don’t have room for it.

whatthefluther's avatar

Guess what? They are still winning and beating you up. You are so angry, you can’t sleep and you’ve probably made yourself ill over the whole thing. I’m sure it hurts but you must get over it soon. They betrayed you…lose them! If they have betrayed you once, they are capable of betraying you again and again. Don’t let them win. Look at yourself and what the anger is doing to you and recognize that they and your anger towards them are just not worth your time. Move on to bigger and better things and new friends .
PS: I am assuming this was a major unforgiveable betrayal. If this ends up to be something like, “they both promised they wouldn’t tell Jim I liked him, but they went and told Jim’s friends all about it”, then please ignore the above….you’ ve probably all made up by now, anyhow. (I really should avoid these types of questions with such little detail).

dynamicduo's avatar

Get down to the gym and work out your energy physically. Running, swimming, punching is an easy and obvious release. Basically you need to channel your rage to help get it out, and even then it’s more of a mental thing versus a physical thing, but distracting your body is a great way to distract your mind and thus help resolve your pain.

Normskiiz's avatar

I know what you mean went through the same thing terrible ! When you know the one person you trusted and thought could Never hurt you actually does ! Everything changes.. You either have two choice I know you said it’s not an option but being the better person sort it out move on and forget the past! If you don’t that’s all you’ll be thinking of and you end up hurting yourself. Second option if you can’t talk to them you must move on. Don’t let it tear you apart. That’s about it lols. Hope things workout for you!

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I start chain smoking and yelling
I always need to scream it out to a person that I trust

filmfann's avatar

Okay, this is really about co-workers, and not good friends.
If someone at work does something that really makes me angry, I absolutely don’t let them know.
If they know how to piss you off, it becomes a game for them. They know your button.
I have had people I thought were friends do terrible things to me, from making moves on my girlfriends, to sabatoging me.
I don’t know what your friends did, but Good Friends don’t purposely screw you over. Reevaluate.

Judi's avatar

The best way to finally get rid of your anger (when you have had enough of it) is to forgive. That doesn’t mean that you put yourself in a position of being abused again, it just means that you rise above the situation and let them off the hook. Your anger only hurts yourself, not them and forgiving them heals yourself.

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

I kill puppies… don’t knock it to you try it.

cyn's avatar

punch something…

wundayatta's avatar

I seek justice through legitimate means, such as creating an organization that will shame the miscreants, or by seeking to shame them in public. This requires a certain skill, and you have to make sure you are on solid ground—having done nothing illegal. Shame is a good way of getting people back in line.

The main point, though, is that it is not about getting even, or expressing your anger; it is about correcting the injustice, by changing the behavior of those who perpetrated it. There are many tactics that can be used in this fight. You can jawbone. You can go on strike. You can organize.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

When really angry, I use that stubborn energy to do things I might otherwise put off like:
push ups
dusting the house
sewing buttons on clothes
ironing
more push ups
plucking eyebrows
scrubbing the shower walls
bathing my dog
more push ups
add favorite music to it all

Resonantscythe's avatar

Do you have anyone who you can go to that will just let you go on a rant about the whole thing? I find it helps A LOT to just blow up about it and make a rip-roaring-screaming, wild- as-monkeys speech out of it. But Again, this can only be done with someone who will listen and understand and most definitely not exacerbate things.

Skippy's avatar

Trust me, after having a “best friend” crap on my, I’ve found that karma works, and what goes around, comes around!

Watch, wait and enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

willbrawn's avatar

Call of Duty or working out

prude's avatar

scream, yell, cry, and bitch, bitch, bitch…

Blondesjon's avatar

I masturbate.

sorry lil’ fella. . .

ru2bz46's avatar

It’s funny you should mention “karma”. I was going to suggest yoga. I listen to hard, screeching metal on my way to and from yoga classes. Both do their part to absorb and disperse any anger I have within me.

Bobbilynn's avatar

Being mindful of the present is helpful to heal from being hurt!

Bluefreedom's avatar

Exercise usually works for me. It also has the added benefits of reducing stress and improving your overall health.

melover139's avatar

Drink some soda

Kraken's avatar

By being really sarcastic and berating someone on the web.
((( I successfully managed to keep my anger in at this juncture )))

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