General Question

pallen123's avatar

What are some cool alternative jobs titles?

Asked by pallen123 (1514points) June 24th, 2009

I manage a “secretive” association of businesspeople and we’re looking for some memorable/unusual titles for the officers of our group. Their responsibility is primarily recruiting new members and helping members to network, find resources, etc. They’re sort of matchmakers.

Here are some unconventional titles we’re thinking of…

advisor, duke, cardinal, associate, boss, counselor, captain, elder, overlord, guard, operative, operator, agent, associate, captain, quarterback, scout, messenger, chief, warrior, guide, godfather

Any other suggestions?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

80 Answers

AstroChuck's avatar

Grand Fenwick

fireside's avatar

Gatekeeper

SuperMouse's avatar

Consigliere

fireside's avatar

Chancellor
Ambassador

gailcalled's avatar

Capo di tutti capi.

Yiddish for matchmaker is “shadkhin” (שדכן).

SuperMouse's avatar

Baron
Kahuna

AstroChuck's avatar

Grand Poobah

AstroChuck's avatar

Rector

Rector? It nearky killed her.

Bri_L's avatar

constable
heir to the chair
party to the happenens

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

“Viceroy”

“Lord and Master of all that is and all that is not.”

“Padre”(Must be said as Dirty Harry would)

“Liege”

Blondesjon's avatar

“The Shit”

fireside's avatar

Hippie
Punk
Emo

Wait, what kind of “alternative” are we talking about?

dannyc's avatar

Nerdy computer guy
Freaky Funky Event Seeker and Planner

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

Space Cadet
Big Cahuna

Personally, if I ever own a business, it’s going to say this on my Door.

O.G. Spencer R. Steck

OG as in Original Gangster best title…ever

eponymoushipster's avatar

Colonel Ackbar von Dongburger

McAsshat

The Shocker

cookieman's avatar

Vice President of All That is Unpleasant

AstroChuck's avatar

Slavedriver

cookieman's avatar

Piledriver

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

”(your name here): All that is Man.”

SuperMouse's avatar

Mr. Slate
Mr. Grant
Larry Tate

fireside's avatar

Sherpa
Spiritwalker
Shaman
Porter
Bellhop
Concierge

RedPowerLady's avatar

Please do not use “Chief” as that is entirely inappropriate and could be considered offensive

I was going to say “Lord Master” but I see that has already been mentioned.
Mr. Big Man, Mr. Sir, King, Champion (okay i’m really bad at this..)

aprilsimnel's avatar

Mr. Big Stuff
She Who Must Be Obeyed
The Bad Mamma Jamma
Il Papa (or Big Poppa)

dalepetrie's avatar

God of Pain

cookieman's avatar

e tu AstroChuck

Jeruba's avatar

Going to have to make a for-all-time correction to Pooh-Bah. It’s the name of a character in Gilbert & Sullivan’s operetta The Mikado. For some reason it has accumulated a lot of variant spellings, but the name is Pooh-Bah.

AstroChuck's avatar

Sorry I forgot the hyphen.

And, yes. I know that it’s from The Mikado. Three little maids told me so.

aprilsimnel's avatar

The Great Gazoo

AstroChuck's avatar

Overlord (or Overlady)

DrBill's avatar

He who must not be named….

gailcalled's avatar

@cprevite: Since Jeruba has started the trend for purity, it’s Et tu.

AstroChuck's avatar

And it’s Brutus, not AstroChuck.
Of course if cprevite was speaking Italian then it’s okay.

augustlan's avatar

Alpha Male
The Big Dog
Hero for Hire

janbb's avatar

The Big Lebowski
Supreme Leader
The Akond of Swat
The Great Gonzo
The Grand Vizier

Bagardbilla's avatar

Mr Green,
Mr Bue
Ms Red
Ms Pink
Dr Fuchsia
Mr Limegreen
Etc etc.

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

Big Cheese
Little Cheese
Swiss Cheese
I like cheese ok.. sawwwryy..
Mega Low Maniac
Mega High Maniac
Duke of Earl
Smashing Bloke
Rotter
Mega Monster
Prince of Platitudes
Powerful-Guy-Who-Own-Everything-In-The-Universe-And-Puts-His-Or-Her-Pants-On-BOTH-Legs-At-A-Time

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

Captain Big Dick.

eponymoushipster's avatar

El Boner Del Mar

aprilsimnel's avatar

Great Googly Moogly
Jimmy Page

Shegrin's avatar

The Peanut.

(...as in, “Don’t just be the shit. Be the peanut.”...jajdh

Zuma's avatar

Slave
Assistant Slave
Temporary Assistant Slave
Temporary Intermittent Assistant Slave
Cyber Slave
Cyber Slave II

Billionaire
Billionaire philanthropist

Bri_L's avatar

dollionair

DrBill's avatar

Great and Powerful Oz

dalepetrie's avatar

Fuckmaster.

augustlan's avatar

Head Mo-Fo

aprilsimnel's avatar

Little Miss Can’t-Be-Wrong

augustlan's avatar

The Queen of Everything
The Princess of Quite a Lot

Bri_L's avatar

The assistant of just a bit.

The helper of a tad

The gopher of a little now and then

aprilsimnel's avatar

The Vice-President of Wishful Thinking

gailcalled's avatar

His Miloness
Mini-Milo

elijah's avatar

Sperminator

AstroChuck's avatar

Augustus (or Augusta)

augustlan's avatar

Or, August-lan. ;-)

AstroChuck's avatar

Augusta Augustlan. Auggie, you’d make a great empress.

dalepetrie's avatar

Mack Daddy. One time I actually got to name my position, I called myself the Lead Accountant since I was basically in charge of all the company’s accounting, In retrospect, I should have asked to be called the Mack Daddy of Accounting. It would have looked great on my business cards.

augustlan's avatar

@AstroChuck AC, you could be the emperor… or my loyal servant.

AstroChuck's avatar

Cæsar AstroCarolus Augustus.
I like the sound of that.

janbb's avatar

@augustlan Did you say Astrochuck could be the Idiot Savant?
(Just joking, of course. :-))

fireside's avatar

Director of Procurement

Zuma's avatar

Prince of Insufficient Light
Sultan of Sin
Captain of Corruption
Prince of Prevarication
Master of Mendacity

AstroChuck's avatar

Sultan is a good one.

SuperMouse's avatar

Master of the Universe

janbb's avatar

Skeletor!

Zuma's avatar

Pontiff
Mental Patient
Diplomat
Anesthesiologist
Politician
Game Show Host
Silversmith
Genie
Rug Merchant
Poisoner
Superhero
Oligarch
Witch
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy
Corporal
Emperor
Drag Queen
Cage cleaner
Executioner
Factotum
Crack Ho
Master-at-Arms
Deacon
Acolyte
Lubrication Specialist
Quartermaster
Spear carrier
Head Eunuch
Starving Artist
Section Chief
Returning Champion
Supermodel
Inquisitor
Force of Nature
Men’s room attendant
Butler
Devil’s Advocate
Standard Bearer
Plutocrat
Sorcerer
Mayor
Flux Capacitor Engineer
Dean
Chancellor
Suicide Bomber
Enchantress
Vice Principal
Chamberlain
Pearl Diver
Knight in Shining Armor
Gynecologist
Vizier
Ayatollah
Virgin sacrifice
Chieftain
Centurion
Condom Salesman
Hairdresser
Nun
Top Gun
Pastry Chef
Rock Star
Flunky
Astronaut
Psycho Killer
Galley slave
Poltroon
Judge
Lackey
King of the Leprechauns
Liaison
Mediator
Arbitrager
Tyrant
Proconsul
Princess
Master Debater
Factory Rep
Squire
Madam Chairwoman
Navigator
Pool Hall Hustler
Tribune
Chief Architect
Loyal Retainer
Village Idiot
Midshipman
Snake Charmer
Gray Eminence
Ensign
Interior Designer
Mastermind
Star Ship Captain
Mullah
Guidance Counselor
Madam
Chief Detective
Steward
District Manager
Crossing Guard
Altar Boy
Jewel Thief
Substitute Teacher
Art Critic
Chief of Police
Head Usher
Mogul
Pimp
Assistant Pimp
Gumshoe
Smuggler
Camel Jockey
Unpaid Intern
Sanitation Engineer
Psychiatrist
Diva
Deep Sea Diver
Stewardess
Head Waiter
Prisoner
Dominatrix
Honored Guest
Lion Tamer
Pirate
Televangelist
Phantom of the Opera
Inspector General
Lady in Waiting
Gangsta
Second in Charge
Whistle-blower
Keeper of the Faith
Meter Maid
Arms Merchant
Bricklayer
Peacemaker
Soothsayer
Hired Gun
Tug Boat Captain
Gaffer
Professor of Chiropractic Science
Meth Cook
Geisha
Arab Linguist
Courtier
Ninja
Lottery Winner

augustlan's avatar

@MontyZuma That’s what I call dedication to a cause!

dalepetrie's avatar

And if nothing on @MontyZuma‘s list works for you, how about “Oxygen Breather”?

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