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wundayatta's avatar

What was it like, the first time you became completely responsible for yourself?

Asked by wundayatta (58714points) June 30th, 2009

For some, you may have become responsible early on, if a parent disappeared, or if there were a war or something. Others may not become responsible for their own activities until college, or until they move out of their parents house. Maybe some people don’t move out, but still transition into complete self-responsibility.

What was your transition like? When did it happen? What precipitated it? How did you respond to it? Did it go well, or were there a lot of challenges?

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13 Answers

AstroChuck's avatar

I’ll let you know when if that day comes.

TitsMcGhee's avatar

College was probably my biggest transition. Being in New York City, making my own decisions about time management, money management, etc, etc. I feel like it was a little easier for me than for some because I had similar responsibilities my last two years of high school. My mom commuted to another city on a weekly basis, so I ended up being responsible for myself a lot (had a job, car, and credit card). I think that really helped.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

I was a Jr. in high school. My stepfather had left my mother and their toddler, she hadn’t worked in several years and went into a pretty much bedridden depression so I kind of took over the household as a default. I was angry my family was in pain but I wasn’t angry for the responsibility, instead it felt empowering to provide some security and a bit of angry pride to show my stepfather he was ineffectual. It was hard but I learned a lot about running a household, paying bills and work ethic. When my stepfather came back and my mother gave in to go with him again, I got really angry and left the house to go out on my own and that was a challenge but I did it.

loser's avatar


cookieman's avatar

I started college at seventeen. Paid my own tuition, car insurance, supplies, and other bills. I also worked about thirty-five hours a week, but since I lived at home, I wasn’t independent yet (maybe 50% there).

When I was twenty-five I earned the other 50% by buying a house with my fiancé and moving out of my folks house.

Frankly, it was an easy transition. I really enjoyed the freedom and (now) complete responsibility.

Facade's avatar

I’ll tell you when it happens (which will probably be never)

casheroo's avatar

My story is similar to @cprevite.‘s I started college at 17, and worked 40 hours a week, paid my own bills. But, I did live with my parents, they bought the food and provided housing. I was independent, but not completely.
I’d say, it wasn’t until my husband and I got our second apartment until I felt completely responsible. Our first apartment (when we were dating) we weren’t very responsible, paid bills and what not but it wasn’t the same as when I became pregnant and we really had to grow up.
We got our new place, and had our son. I think that is when I felt like we were our own family, and responsible together.

Hambayuti's avatar

I started finding my own little ways to earn when I was in High School. What a joy to have those extra money to spend on parties and shopping. My parents didn’t really like the idea…we (me and a younger sister) were sheltered. Long story. So, anyway, when I got pregnant at a young age, they were devastated – my mom particularly. And of course, having a child changes everything. I needed more money than what I was earning and whatever I had was never enough. (and being so naive then, I just couldn’t believe how expensive it was to raise a child) My mom would give me money and buy stuff for the baby’s need but all these were I.O.U.‘s. It was not until my child was around 4 years old that my partner and I found great job opportunities that we started clearing all our debts (to our parents). Now we have started saving for our future, had our house renovated, take good vacations, buy things we need…and want.

The transition wasn’t easy. So many pain and heartbreaks to go through. There were so many questions and doubts raised. But now that we’ve surpassed those challenges…it’s a loud ”aaaahhhhhhh!!!””...such a great relief. Really.

Blondesjon's avatar

I got kicked out of my house when I was 16. I lived in a $75 efficiency apartment above a supermarket and worked a telemarketing job to pay the rent. I also stayed in school and finished up Salutatorian.

It fucking sucked. I never had any real stress in my life until I had real responsibilities.

galileogirl's avatar

As the oldest in a large family, I started taking on resposibilities (or rather was given them) around the age of 8. Besides looking after younger siblings, I was given chores like cooking, cleaning and laundry. By the time I was 12, I had cooked my 1st full holiday turkey dinner. When I was 16 my parents bought me a $50 car because my chores included the family shopping, picking up my youngest sibling at pre-school, cooking dinner and watching 5 younger kids while my parents worked swing shift.

As I was about to graduate from high school we had a blow-up. I had qualified for a full scholarship but my parents wanted me to stay home and go to the local community college and refused to provide the necessary paperwork. The day after my 18th birthday, I went into the City and got a job. With my 1st paycheck, I rented a place and moved.

That was the 1st time I was totally responsible for myself and nobody else. IT WAS WONDERFUL!!! Everyone said I would miss the activity of 8 people living in a 3 bed 1 bath house. They were wrong. Of course it didn’t last, my parents broke up w/i a year. My Dad and bros moved in with me. I met someone, got married, started a family and it was another 32 years until I got to live alone again. It is still wonderful.

YARNLADY's avatar

I don’t think I ever have been completely responsible for myself. I have either been married, or living with my parents all of my life, and have always had the help and support of others.

Bluefreedom's avatar

One year after I graduated high school, I was in basic training for the U.S. Army at 19 years old and that was the first time I was alone and totally responsible for myself. It was a wake-up call too in that I had no real self-discipline at that time and had no sense of responsibility. Suffice it to say that during my initial military training and my first 3 year enlistment in the Army, I grew up really fast, learned a lot of important things, and became a much better person through many valuable life experiences that occurred along the way.

Bri_L's avatar

I wasn’t really in that situation until I was 23. In fact I had my twin brother with me at everything for most of my life until then. Come to think of it, even before I was born.

It was exciting. $300 dollars, all my stuff, no job, no place to live, didn’t know anyone, moved to Sacramento CA from WI in a truck with a friend who moved on from there.

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