General Question

YARNLADY's avatar

Very few set out to be a role model, it just happens. What kind of role model are you?

Asked by YARNLADY (45839points) July 2nd, 2009

Athletes, teachers, parents, Darth Vader, drug addicts, they all end up willy nilly.

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37 Answers

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

I don’t think we get to decide how people see us.

Blondesjon's avatar

Disclaimer: Never, EVER take any of my bullshit seriously. You don’t need a role model. You just need to believe in yourself.

You may use somebody as an excuse for pushing you toward loving yourself but the one responsible for it’s execution is you.

tinyfaery's avatar

I am not, and refuse to be a role model. People have looked-up to me, but I would never consent to being constrained by someone’s need for me to fill a purpose in their life. Not a popular opinion, but it’s mine none the less.

Darwin's avatar

I am a parent, so of course I am a role model. It comes with the job.

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

I am your god, obey me… :::busts up laughing::: okay, that’s BS. I am not a role model, I never tried to be a role model. I agree with @tinyfairy on that count. I am simply living the best life I possibly can and trying to stay sane in the process. I’d like people to think fondly of me when I am gone. Or to think I am an asshole, whichever works best for them. :-)

chyna's avatar

There is no one for me to be a role model for, I don’t have kids and I am an aunt to several nieces and nephews, but I am just the person they have fun with, nothing more, nothing less.

Grisaille's avatar

I used to think myself to be a role model to my niece and nephew, but ever since my sister moved away (back to her loser husband), there isn’t anyone around that could theoretically look up to me.

In other words, I ain’t shit.

filmfann's avatar

My father was my role model. He was the hardest worker I ever knew. He was a good father, a loving husband, and a devoted son. I never wanted to be a role model, I just wanted to be like my dad, which, of course, ended up with me being a role model. I’m not trying to be that.

cookieman's avatar

If you are not a parent, you have the luxury of rejecting the responsibility of “role model” (however you may define that term). You may inadvertantly become someone’s role model, but you have the freedom to ignore them (and your influence upon them).

However, as @Darwin points out, the title of “parent” comes with the “role model” sub-title.

Knowing this, I do my best to be honest and direct with my daughter; to be kind, thoughtful, and loving.

How good a role model I am, while important, is far less important than the person my daughter chooses to become. If behavior I have modeled plays a positive role in her development, that’s just gravy.

YARNLADY's avatar

@tinyfaery No one has the luxery of choosing to NOT be a role model, we are all held up by our example as the “model” of how to be, without any choice on our part. The only choice any of us have is to present a model we will be proud of.

loser's avatar

I believe I would be defined as a poor one.

YARNLADY's avatar

@loser I am curious – is this what you want to be?

loser's avatar

@YARNLADY Nope. I just think most other people would be better role models than myself.

ru2bz46's avatar

My first reaction to this question was to take the humble role and refuse to admit that someone may view me as a role model, especially since I have no kids.

Then I figured, WTF? This is (hopefully still) an anonymous account, so I don’t have to worry if anyone thinks I’m being a douche for admitting that I am a role model, even though I never intended to be. We are ALL role models to someone for something for good or ill. When I think about it, I am a role model in several areas:

1. Decent human being. I’ve been told by some who know me that I am one of the most giving people they know. I sacrifice so that others may not have to as much. Why do I do it? For the satisfaction of knowing that somebody else is a little less sad.

2. Teacher. I end up teaching the things I love most. I’ve taught computer programming to kids and adults who have shown an interest or asked for help. At least one of those students is now a software developer.

I’ve taught jewelry making classes to kids and adults in non-acredited classes at a major university. I don’t know if any have gone on to make jewelry, but I know they had smiles on their faces when they melted gold for the first time, and they showed me a lot of respect.

I am certified to teach archery, which I do for kids and adults. Some of my students shoot regularly, and are improving with practice. At least one has turned her life around and has realized that she is not a loser with no skills, but she is a damn good archer. She was a problem child with no goals; now she is doing better in school and showing interest in physical activities.

I just started teaching yoga (certification on the way). I have been told by many people that they have started exercising because of my enthusiasm for yoga and the results I have shown (losing 50 lbs, 5 inches, and 76 points of cholesterol) in the last couple years. In fact three people have told me that because of my posts here on Fluther.

Why do I teach? To share what I love with others in the hope that they can know a piece of the joy that I have known.

3. I have inspired others to give blood for the first time by giving blood components twice a week (when physically able). Why do I donate? Some people need donated blood to live a little longer. Some need a few units to survive a surgery; some need a lot to recover from severe burns; some need it to fight the effects of AIDS; some need it to fight cancer; some need it to repair damage they did to themselves by smoking, drinking, or getting into fights. I know people who refuse to donate because of the latter individuals who might end up with it and waste it. I figure if all of the tens of gallons of blood I have donated so far go to help a single individual live and bring joy to them or their family, it is worth it.

If I seem like a douche for admitting what I have done, so be it. Maybe I’ll be a role model to one of the readers to realize that their actions or non-actions affect other people, whether they like it or not.

cyndyh's avatar

I hope I’m a good role model for my kids to live their lives fully and in a way that’s true-to-themselves. Even if I disagree with some of their choices I hope they’re always true to themselves. If I’ve taught them that I’ll be happy about it.

Milladyret's avatar

I LIKE to think I’m a good role model for my younger sisters. I try to be strong, confident, I quit smoking and lost some weight, and I’m starting a masters degree this fall.

Sometime I think it’s not being the role model that’s the problem, it’s getting the ones you are modeling FOR to see all the good you’re tryng to do for them…

augustlan's avatar

I’m one of those parent/role models mentioned up there ^^. As to what kind of role model, well… you’d have to ask my children. :)

eponymoushipster's avatar

i just aim to end up in some willy nilly.

if you want to be like me, kudos. you’ve officially failed as a human. i award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

eponymoushipster's avatar

@The_Compassionate_Heretic if peeing your pants is cool, someone in this thread is Miles Davis.

cyndyh's avatar

…or Fergie.

Jack79's avatar

Things I have taught my students (and my daughter)

-always tell the truth, unless you have a really good memory
-use your damn brain, that’s what it’s there for
-be nice to people, you never know…
-share your stuff, it will make you popular
-don’t hit anyone, your knuckles may hurt afterwards
-smoking is bad because nobody will wanna kiss you
-study as much as you can, but if you’re tired, it’s better to sleep instead
-time is not money, it’s a lot more valuable than that

hearkat's avatar

I was a poor role model for my son in his earlier years. I was dealing with depression and stuck in a victim’s mentality that carried over from childhood abuse.

It was seeing the impact this had on my son that made me start ‘walking the walk’ rather than hoping my son would ‘do as I say, not as I do’.

Changing behaviors and habits formed from negative experiences that started before I can remember isn’t easy, and I looked to others as role models. There were some who had a greater influence than others, due to their high level of self-respect and/or a selfless nature; but I decided that I could learn something from every person – how to be or how not to be.

This has made a huge difference for both my son and I. I still regret those earlier years because there is still evidence of the damage done, and only my son will be able to work through those issues for himself – with my continued support and guidance.

Whether I serve as a role model in other areas of my life, I couldn’t say… but I have my standards and values, and I live up to them for my own well-being and piece of mind.

Still, I hope that others whom I meet in person or online are able to recognize and respect me for my honesty and openness; and that those who may need a role model can find inspiration in the way I conduct myself, as I did with others.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I don’t always want to be viewed as a role model but I do sometimes and when I am viewed as a role model it is usually for my ability to stand up for what’s right and without fear

janbb's avatar

I hope I am becoming a role model to my adult sons by owning up to my own stuff and by constantly being able to grow in what I am open to learning from them.

cak's avatar

As a role model, I’m human. I don’t hide when I fail at something. I prove daily that I am fallible.

Bluefreedom's avatar

I’m the kind of role model that other future role models endeavor to be. I’m not perfect but I set a good example and I’m very dependable, responsible, hard working, and honest.

sap82's avatar

A better one than most people on this site could possibly imagine or believe. That is just there problem.

eponymoushipster's avatar

…just not a model speller, but humble.

CMaz's avatar

I roll with the punches.

Ghost_in_the_system's avatar

I tend to frighten children, not on perpose but I don’t present as approachable. If the are around me enough, though they follow me completely. Good thing I don’t have an evil agenda.

nope's avatar

@YARNLADY I love this question, and you are spot on when you say no one has the luxury of choosing whether or not to be a role model. I’m reminded of the great controversy with (I think) the Nike commercial a decade or so ago, when Charles Barkley declared for all to hear, that he was NOT a role model. Well, to that I say bullshit. Almost EVERYBODY is a role model to somebody, like it or not.

Do you have friends? Well, for most of us who do, we are a role model to those friends, in some way or other. For instance, I can choose things about every single one of my friends that I really like, and would like to model. I have a friend who is so fiscally responsible, I would like to model myself after that, and I think of him often when I need strength in that area. My dad (who has passed away) was probably one of my favorite role models, I’m not sure I ever knew anyone who was so generous of spirit, and so accepting of human beings no matter what their background, sexuality, ethnicity, economic status, or whatever. I model myself after him every day of my life, and regret not telling him how much I value what he modelled.

In any event, I AM a role model, and fully willing to admit it. I try (hard) to model for my kids…it’s really pretty impossible to be perfect, so I don’t really aspire to that level. I admit my mistakes, I tell them I’m sorry when I decide punishment was undue, and try to make it up to them. I do the things that I say I will. I’m ALWAYS on time for their practices & games (which by the way, my dang father was terrible at).

I’ve been a soccer coach, ski instructor, piano teacher, mostly for kids. I’ve had little piano playing girls with crushes on me, soccer kids who thought I was “totally rad” as I drove them in my SUV through the trees because someone had locked the gate to the soccer field, ski students who would request me year after year. Neat to hang out with, yes, and whether I wanted it or not, a role model.

I am also a role model for MY friends, just as they are for me. Not everyone has the same strengths, and we all draw from each other. Can anyone really say they never looked at someone close to them, and thought about how much they’d like to be more like that? In some area?

So, I’ll say goodbye now. I will also say thank you to @ru2bz46 , because she (I assume she because of the jewelry) set the table for me by saying “WTF?”...and then going for it.

ru2bz46's avatar

Thanks @nope, but I am male. No big deal, I get that a lot. Maybe it’s the picture of my beaver…

nope's avatar

@ru2bz46 LOL! Sorry man, I was thinking as I wrote that that I have known guys who make jewelry. I just guessed, because I didn’t want to do that lame he/she thing. Backfired, oh well. Nice beaver, by the way.

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