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alive's avatar

Would you mind if the person you are dating is dating someone else who is the opposite gender you are?

Asked by alive (2933points) July 4th, 2009

So there was the question earlier that asked if you would stay with your significant other even if they were bi.

BUT my question is would you date someone who is Bi, knowing they are dating one other person, and that other person is the ‘opposite’ gender of you?

(i am premising this on the fact that no body has chosen to be exclusive, so any of the people in this scenario can date other people if they want).

So you are a man dating a women who is bi, she is dating a girl at the same time

OR
you are a women dating a woman who is bi, she is dating a man at the same time

OR you are a woman dating a man who is bi, and he is dating a boy
OR
you are a man dating a man who is dating a women also!
(i think i covered all the simply bases—geeze! haha)

Would you continue dating/ feeling comfortable dating this person (assuming you like them) if they are playing the field for the other team???

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13 Answers

TabernakAttack's avatar

Nah, polygamy rarely ever works out, I’d end it.

PandoraBoxx's avatar

If you’ve both agreed it’s okay to date other people, then you’re not really in a relationship. You’re both agreeing to pass time together until someone better comes along. So, no, you shouldn’t have a say in who the other person is dating.

alive's avatar

@TabernakAttack i didn’t say polygamy. i said non-exclusive dating.

alive's avatar

@PandoraBoxx most dating is not exclusive until the 2 people want something serious. but the question is would you mind if the person you are interested in is dating in both the gay and straight ‘scene’

TabernakAttack's avatar

Still, I say just have some threesomes then get out of there.

casheroo's avatar

I wouldn’t date them, but I’d continue sleeping with them. Dating to me means monogamy, if I want someone to be my boyfriend then I was it to be just us.

loser's avatar

Yeah, I might mind. I lost my ex to the opposite gender.

cwilbur's avatar

Well, in your question you ask if I mind if the person is dating other people, and then you say we’ve already agreed that it’s okay to see other people simultaneously. So the question is really about bisexuality more than it is polyamory.

I’m not really okay with the person I’m dating seeing other people. The gender of the people involved is really irrelevant.

alive's avatar

@cwilbur (and anyone else that might have not understood clearly) yes this is a question about bisexuality, and any stigma that is attached to it

(i was drawing off of this question where most people said they didn’t mind if their significant other was bi. but a lot of people said “as long as they don’t cheat on me.” so i am curious if people would be bothered or threatened knowing that this person is seeing someone else, who happens to be the opposite of them self.)

*from my own personal experience, both men and women think that unexclusive dating is fine, but when i mention that i date men and women then people start acting really insecure and threatened. like they can “compete” with their own gender, and that is a “fair fight”, but not when it comes down to the opposite gender… any thoughts?

augustlan's avatar

It wouldn’t bother me in the slightest. Honestly, it might turn me on.

tiffyandthewall's avatar

if i’m in a relationship with them, that would not fly with me. i guess open relationships work for some people, but not for me – regardless of the gender. as just casual dating, knowing that we’re both seeing other people? sure. that’s cool. and like, heyyy, if the other guy is good looking too, that’s definitely awesome.

fireinthepriory's avatar

So as backstory, I’m a girl who sometimes dates girls and sometimes dates boys, but I’ve only ever FALLEN for a girl. (So I’m technically bisexual, but I tend to get more emotionally attached to women so it’s complicated.)

I would be more threatened if a girl I was seeing was seeing another girl than if she was seeing a dude. Strangely, I think if I was seeing a dude, I’d probably be more threatened if he was seeing another dude than if he was seeing a girl… so basically, I’m insane. :) I think I’m just more into same-sex relationships, hence being more threatened if my potential competitor is the same gender as the person I want to “win,” if that makes any sense. It clearly makes no LOGICAL sense, haha, but it is what it is I suppose. :)

I haven’t ever dated anyone who was afraid I’d leave them for someone of the opposite gender, but I also haven’t dated a guy in a while and lesbians tend to be REALLY confident that they can beat the bisexual out of you by being really awesome in bed. (And thus far, it’s worked on me – so I can’t blame them!)

CMaz's avatar

I sure would, as long as she shares. Been there done that. I like how it works out. As long as all parties are mature and agree.

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