General Question

dalepetrie's avatar

Would you exchange sex for money? See details.

Asked by dalepetrie (18014points) July 7th, 2009

OK, first off, I mean either direction, 1) would you pay for sex and 2) would you take money for sex? I don’t care if you’re talking about prostitution, being paid to be in a porn, or what…just would you exchange money for sex? I’m also not talking about whether you in the abstract have any problem with the concept, I want to know if you, yourself personally would either pay for or be paid for sex? But I also want to make it clear that this is under a very specific set of conditions:

1) Whatever you do is legal where you are doing it.
2) You must practice safe sex (or at least you have that option).
3) There is no threat to your personal safety, no John is going to beat you up.
4) Hypothetically speaking, if you are married or engaged or dating someone at the present time, this assumes that you are completely single and won’t be cheating on anyone if you do this, so you may have to imagine.

If there are certain conditions or caveats under which you would, then please state what they are.

And certainly if you HAVE done so, and you feel like you can share, by all means, do.

My answers are, I haven’t paid for or been paid for sex. If I could manage to get it up for the person paying me and all 4 of those conditions were met, I’d take money for it (assuming the pay was adequate). If I had the money to do so and couldn’t get laid any other way, I’d pay the right person for sex if I felt she justified the price.

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90 Answers

CMaz's avatar

Lets see, me and my girl go to dinner. Might catch a movie after.
I drove to pick her up and will take her home. That will be in the morning or afternoon.
We both have sex that evening, with each other. I would say I paid for it, she accepted.

RareDenver's avatar

I don’t think I could have sex with someone if I knew they were only doing it for the money but if a rich woman that I was attracted to wanted to treat me in return for a good time? Well maybe I could do that.

Just to make clear here, I am happily married and would not actually do the above, just hypothetically speaking as the question states.

marinelife's avatar

@ChazMaz Your poor, poor girlfriend.

seVen's avatar

No, I’m not damaging my soul for nothing ever.

dalepetrie's avatar

I do find it interesting how many women out there would slap a guy if he suggested she have sex with him for money, but who would rock his world for the price of a couple drinks. It seems there are a lot of people who have a problem only with the “direct” route.

And I don’t believe in a soul, nor do I think if there were one, it would be damaged by sex, so the concept really doesn’t bother me one iota.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

Not only no, but HELL no!!!

kenmc's avatar

I would pay for sex if that was the only way I could get laid. Fortunately, that’s not the case.

Morally, there’s nothing actually wrong with paying for sex. It’s an act between two adult individuals and none of my business.

And if someone wanted to pay me for sex, I would do it if I felt some attraction and felt safe in the environment.

MissAnthrope's avatar

I could never pay for sex.. no way in hell could I get past that fact enough to be turned on enough to want to have sex.

I might accept money for sex if the person was attractive, but I would never have sex with someone I wasn’t attracted to.

Ahem.. I was once paid to be in a porn video, though no intercourse occurred, it was more of a fetish/BDSM thing that also included a photo shoot. I don’t feel the need to defend my decision, though I will say I made enough to pay my rent that month, and that was my main preoccupation at the time. I probably would not do it again, though; the whole thing was rather emotionally draining.

dalepetrie's avatar

Remember also, I’m allowing you to dictate the circumstances here. This could be a Demi Moore/Robert Redford situation here…possibly one act of sex with a person who might be very physically attractive in exchange for a lifetime of financial security…whatever scenario you can dream…those who say no, never, is there really no combination of price and circumstance?

dalepetrie's avatar

@AlenaD – that’s interesting…how did you stumble upon that particular job opportunity if you don’t mind my asking?

MissAnthrope's avatar

@dalepetrie – I had hooked up with this person sexually a couple of years before and the offer was made at some point to return and do a video/photo shoot for money. I’ve dabbled in BDSM and they thought I might be up for it.. wasn’t all that interested until I had no way to pay my rent. :P

galileogirl's avatar

None of the above but if you meant exchange (give up or trade) sex for say $10 million then I’m right there. However, I’m old and the bloom is off the rose.

dalepetrie's avatar

That idea too that it would be difficult to pay for sex occurs to me these days. I’d feel really weird I think, I don’t know if I could perform physically just because it would feel so strange to be knowing that this person doesn’t really want to do this with me, but is pretty much doing it to pay rent or whatever. I’m socially awkward to begin with, I have a hard time making conversation with strangers…I just don’t know that I could put part of myself into a stranger’s body and not be way too self conscious about it if I can’t even put words into a stranger’s ears and not feel strange about it. But it’s been a long time since I was a teenage virgin with raging testosterone, I have a hard time remembering what it felt like, I just remember feeling like “first chance I get…” I was 22 before I had sex for the first time, and I remember thinking I was going to start saving money for a trip to Vegas on my 25th birthday to include a stop at a guest ranch if I hadn’t yet gotten laid. At the time, my biological imperative trumped any sense of awkwardness I might have felt, and I don’t think I’d have had ANY problem going through with it then. Today, even if I found myself no longer married, I don’t imagine I could go through with it. It is however ironic when I consider that the #1 thing keeping me from getting laid until I was 22 was my social awkwardness.

I don’t think I’d have the same problem the other direction though, it would probably be more a matter of if I could find the person attractive enough in some way to get through it, because if I can physically perform, I’m probably going to enjoy it, and hey, if I can get paid for something I enjoy, I don’t see the problem with it. I don’t believe there’s a hell for me to go to, and I’d feel like if the person was willing to pay me for it, they MUST be enjoying it as well, so I wouldn’t feel like I was indirectly forcing someone into something they didn’t want to do. For me the problems I have are more about a person’s humanity. If I feel like two people are consenting, than more power to them, but I have the impression that one person is suffering through something, then I feel guilty.

bezdomnaya's avatar

One time I almost did… but then I backed out at the last minute.

Likeradar's avatar

I might. I don’t know if I would back out at the last minute or not, since I’ve never been in the situation. But if the price was right, if I were single, if he were reasonably attractive, and if we were both tested for STI’s before the sex, I think I might do it.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I would have no problem ‘selling’ myself for money. I have a very positive view of legal and safe sex work and have often considered it myself. And trust me, my soul would remain intact. It’d take more to ‘tarnish’ my character.

El_Cadejo's avatar

Id have no problem with it if those 4 conditions were met. Especially if it was pr0n with my SO.

MissAusten's avatar

If I were single and offered a ridiculous sum of money for one night with an attractive, trustworthy man…maybe. If I had no other income or hope of any other income and needed to feed my kids…maybe.

However, the scenarios where I’d say “maybe” are so far-fetched that it’s hard to even imagine it being possible. I’ve never paid for sex or been paid for sex.

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

That’s heading down a road I’m not willing to travel.
That wouldn’t benefit my well being in any way.

cwilbur's avatar

I don’t think I’d pay for sex. I’ve been in a situation where your stipulations 2, 3, and 4 have been true, and it just wasn’t worth the money.

And I’ve been offered money for sex. It was a bizarre proposition. Again, 2, 3, and 4 were true.

Likeradar's avatar

oh, I was talking about prostitution. Not porn. Too late to edit my answer.

Thammuz's avatar

I would accept to be payed for it, but i wouldn’t pay for it.

Thammuz's avatar

Addendum: provided i like the eventual partner, i certainly wouldn’t do it with the first woman who asks. (Not to mention a man)

aprilsimnel's avatar


I can’t imagine accepting money for any sexual act whatsoever. I’m so sensitive to my morals that I even go dutch on dates just so the man won’t presume that there’s any quid pro quo going on.

And I’m a reasonably attractive enough woman that I wouldn’t have to pay for it, either.

sap82's avatar

If the price is right?

azusenal's avatar

I would never pay for sex, nor would I consider getting paid for sex under any conditions whatsoever. It’s just not for me.

Zaku's avatar

I think (...) I have sex too tightly tied to romance to pay or be paid for it alone. I also tend to have issues when the woman I love has financial expectations attached to love and romance.

ubersiren's avatar

I did once. I was in dire need of money, and an ex boyfriend who was a very close friend (and is still a friend, but not so close now that I’m married) had that money. We slept together on and off before. I proposed that he’d pay my rent for sex and he agreed. I’m not ashamed… maybe I should be. I think we both just thought of it as two friends helping each other out.

SirBailey's avatar

I couldn’t “do it” based on money. If I wasn’t sexually attracted to the woman, things just wouldn’t “perform”.

Bri_L's avatar

No. And I am pretty desperate right now to.

I just don’t like being reduced to a commodity or doing so to another. I need the emotion.

I think I need to turn in my Man Card now.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Bri_L don’t worry, it’s expired anyway, this man card idea

Bri_L's avatar

Whew! It’s funny, cause when I typed “Man Card” my wedding ring turned red hot and shrunk to a painful size. Hmmm

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Bri_L oh no, it’s like jack79’s ring…what is it with you people? :~)

AstroChuck's avatar

Sex for money? Nah. Sex for lurve? Hmmm…

augustlan's avatar

Given the right set of circumstances I could see doing either. When my ex-husband and I saw Indecent Proposal, we looked at each other and were like “So what’s the dilemma? A million bucks for one night with my wife? Sold!”

When I was younger (16 or 17), a married man offered to make me a ‘kept woman’. I mulled it over for a week, and almost accepted. I wouldn’t have to think as hard today… I wouldn’t do it.

SirBailey's avatar

@augustian, and to think, I was just getting ready to make my move…

Jack79's avatar

1. I once tried to pay for sex (just for the sake of it) but couldn’t get turned on.
2. By the same logic, I don’t think I could ever get turned on by a woman (ie client) who was not my girlfriend, even for a short time. I don’t even do one-night-stands, believe it or not. I have to feel something for the girl, even if it’s just a recent relationship. Plus, as I already answered on the prostitution thread, I don’t expect my clients would be sexy young women, so I would simply not be able to do it. Physically speaking.
3. I would under certain circumstances be willing to play in a porno movie (eg if me and my gf both agreed to do one for ourselves or perhaps even for money), though I cannot imagine this really happening, and once again I suspect that I wouldn’t be able to perform on camera.
4. I have already done various photo shoots and would be willing to do nudes if they were done properly. I am a man however, which means that there are different dynamics and results in such cases, plus nobody would care to see me naked anyway.

So the question for me is more practical than moral.

prude's avatar

@AlenaD url please

I might, dunno.

Grisaille's avatar

I haven’t never payed for sex, and never will not.

MissAnthrope's avatar

@prude – No link exists. With any luck, you will never see said video. :)

dalepetrie's avatar

@AlenaD – just don’t make the mistake of posting the title, if anyone can find it, it’s this group.

Jack79's avatar

@dalepetrie don’t worry, watching it already…credits say “starring Alena Del Petrie as the Dark Mistress”. Hmm…del Petrie…is she related to you? :P

dalepetrie's avatar

COUSIN ALLIE…I didn’t know that was YOU?

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

If I couldn’t get it any other way then yes, I’d pay for it just as I do for food and shelter.

If I was offered a decent amount of money from someone I had nothing to fear from and some attraction to then I probably would. Don’t know what the number would be though, guess I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.

TitsMcGhee's avatar

Sure, I would let someone give me money for sex. Just so long as we aren’t in a relationship; emotion and money shouldn’t mix.

justus2's avatar

No, but what others decide to do is their decision and I see nothing wrong with it.

maryleedy's avatar

Nope, not my thing either way.

YARNLADY's avatar

Nope, too dangerous, medically speaking, and not interested.

Thammuz's avatar

@dalepetrie And if WE can’t find it there’s always /b/. (4:40 to find shemale zoophilia, enough said)

prude's avatar

@AlenaD ? c’mon, it can’t be that bad….

Bobbilynn's avatar

I did get paid for sex as a younger women, early 20’s! It helped with every part of my life, from bills to self esteem. So many of my friends would go out and sleep with strangers for fun and no money, and feel like shit the next day. I would meet someone that I might like in a different life or something. Then I would just be up front about shit! I needed help with school, my rent, my stuff I wanted, and they wanted to fuck me. Nothing more nothing less (I worked at a Hilton hotel) so if the conversation went well there was a deal put on the table! I can say for me, it worked out with about 4 different men over a 3 year period. When they came to town, so did I!!
Two of the men I could still call to this day if I ever needed. They are well past the age of wanting pleasure, but conversation is priceless! I don’t feel bad at all about none of it!

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

sure, why not. Of course, you’d better perform well for the money, I’m not throwing good cash away for mediocre sex. :-)

Jack79's avatar

I’d pay to see a picture of Tits (dressed) just out of curiosity…she’s either got really big boobs or an even bigger mouth :P

LostInParadise's avatar

Reminds me of an old joke. A man asks a woman if she would have sex with him for a million dollars. She agrees. Then he asks if she would do it for $1. She says, “What do you think I am?” He says, “We have already agreed on what you are. We are just arguing over price.”

If the price were right then why not? Of course guys have less of a problem with this. I don’t think there is much demand for surrogate fathers.

RareDenver's avatar

@LostInParadise I believe Winston Churchill once said something along those lines to someone once.

aprilsimnel's avatar

I’ve heard the anecdote that it was the playwright George Bernard Shaw and some socialite at a dinner party:

George Bernard Shaw once found himself at a dinner party, seated beside an attractive woman. “Madam,” he asked, “would you go to bed with me for a thousand pounds?” The woman blushed and rather indignantly shook her head.

“For ten thousand pounds?” he asked. “No. I would not.” “Then how about fifty thousand pounds?” he contined.

The colossal sum gave the woman pause, and after further reflection, she coyly replied: “Perhaps.” “And if I were to offer you five pounds?” Shaw asked.

“Mr. Shaw!” the woman exclaimed. “What do you take me for!” “We have already established what you are,” Shaw calmly replied. “Now we are merely haggling over the price.”

Clair's avatar

No. Fuck no. I would hate myself.

RareDenver's avatar


You may well be right, the word for word interaction you give is exactly what I heard Winston Churchill had said, I guess it could just be one of those stories that has just entered into folklore that no-one ever knows where it came from.

aprilsimnel's avatar

Either one of them would be just the sort of roguish old coots to say that, though, wouldn’t they?

RareDenver's avatar


yeah and they would probably regale their gentleman friends with the story and congratulate themselves on it over cigars and brandy :-)

Speaking of cigars, I’ve still got some left from Cuba, might congratulate myself with one on the 2.5 foot mirrored disco ball I just ‘rescued’

filmfann's avatar

@dalepetrie How many times do I have to tell you I will not have sex with you for money???

Bobbilynn's avatar

I think you might filmfann! Hee hee

dalepetrie's avatar

@filmfann – Oh, c’mon now…you know and I know about that night in Detroit.

Bobbilynn's avatar

Detroit? I’m in Detroit!

dalepetrie's avatar

That was YOU on the elephant, @Bobbilynn?

Bobbilynn's avatar

You know it!

TommyLeeJones's avatar

This question and these answers sadden me.

The way you women do things, seem to be coming from how you think your viewed in this culture and others.

Im a guy, I wouldnt sell my body for a little $ unlike some of these women, nor would I pay.

filmfann's avatar

@TommyLeeJones Welcome to Fluther. Lurve.
A friend of mine likes to say Women are sitting on a goldmine.

Grisaille's avatar

@TommyLeeJones Please, paint over women and their personal/professional choices with a broader brush of self-importance.

cwilbur's avatar

@TommyLeeJones: you are aware, I trust, that not all the respondents to this question are female?

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@cwilbur oh no no, only girls are sluts and have loose morals, clearly

giltesque's avatar

I don’t believe any girls that said “no”. As stated in one comment, not in the direct way’ Take this money and give me sex” but women often give booty to the guy that wines and dines her but not the broke guy. I would not do so now but in my single days I def would enjoy sex with wealthy men because the money bought fun adventures and supported a lifestyle I enjoyed living. Of course attraction has to be there for me but the freedom money brings IS attractive and covers a multitude of sins:) Hey I’m trying to be honest here and think some of these other chicks need to as well. They might say ” He made me feel special and loved and that he was into me…that’s why I had sex” I suggest it was the money he had to invest in all those things that created that platform for sex. You were indirectly being paid to perform.

dalepetrie's avatar

@giltesque – to play Devil’s Advocate, let’s just say the guy buying the girl dinner looks like Johnny Depp, I have a feeling a gordita and a large pepsi would do the trick, whereas if he looked like Michael Moore…well, there ain’t enough lobster off the coast of Maine. So I’m not really willing to say that even when the case is much like what you describe, there might be a bit more to it than an indirect ho experience.

giltesque's avatar

Micheal Moore is hot! yum! Sorry I could not resist. IMO neither is attractive to me.
Brad Pitt, OK now I can see your point. I did mention attraction being crucial if you recall. But what I am suggesting is that money is attractvie because security/ romance and adventure are very important, especially to women. Having a so -so guy with money often wins out over the hottie with none. Is it wrong? sure if people are deciveing each other but often I think the so-so guy accepts this role and continues to dole out the moola for some arm candy and bootie. Both parties accept this exchange of funds and services. Again I say it is done indiscretly but it happens all the time, women and men tend to give more tolerance to rich people when dating and in sex then they would someone with no money to splurge in the relationship. BTW Gordita and Pepsi? lol
I love your humor!

dalepetrie's avatar

@giltesque – I wasn’t disagreeing with you, btw, just making light. Thanks for the props on the Gordita quip.

Noel_S_Leitmotiv's avatar

Pay for sex? No, my ego would never allow it.

Get paid for sex, again no, However:

Back in my clubbing days I was made up and out with my GF at the Chamber (a BDSM themed dance and performance club in Atlanta).

I’m approached by a sweet looking woman in her 30’s. She tells me she and her husband had been watching me and asked if I would care to go home with them. I had no intention to say yes as my GF didn’t care for situations involving another man.

My buzz motivated me to respond by indicating rather flatly that I would oblige but I was a professional and there would be a charge involved (in the hundreds of dollars).

Her expression indicated that this wasn’t a dealbreaker and she went back to her husband to brief him and get his opinion.

I found my GF in the womens room and described what had happened and she giggled. We avoided an awkward moment by slipping out and hitting Taco Cabana for 24 hour burritos.

Noel_S_Leitmotiv's avatar

@dalepetrie: I would hope that it isn’t Michael Moore’s appearance that women would have the biggest problem with.

There’s other attributes to Mr. Moore that are far more unattractive than his looks.

dalepetrie's avatar

@Noel_S_Leitmotiv – you can hope in one hand and crap in the other and see which gets full first. From where I sit, one could say the same about Ann Coulter or Sarah Palin.

NewZen's avatar

You pondered: 1) would you pay for sex and 2) would you take money for sex?

No and no.

Violet's avatar

If it were legal, and I was single, (and all of your other details), maybe.. if the price was right

Just_Justine's avatar

Yep I would, some women do it daily it’s called marriage. OK, OK! joke but yeah some do.

Frenchfry's avatar

Does not appeal to me.

sachin's avatar

yesssssssssssssssssssssss sure

Akua's avatar

I do it all the time. LOL.

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