General Question

Glow's avatar

Do you think sex can ruin a relationship quickly or help build it stronger?

Asked by Glow (1366points) July 8th, 2009

Purely opinionated, but I just wanted to know what everyone thinks.

Do you think that a lot of sex in a relationship can hurt it more than it can help it?

Why and why not???

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

58 Answers

TabernakAttack's avatar

Depends on how good it is.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

I think sex TOO SOON can ruin a new relationship. Personally, I’d have to establish some kind of a friendship with someone & get to know them a little first.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

certainly depends on the sex and on the relationship – it can ruin it if it’s forced and it can help it, to build intensity and intimacy

Glow's avatar

Lets pretend the sex is good :)

Regardless, can this do more good or less good for the relationship.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I have a relationship where the sex is good and happens often
It certainly doesn’t do any bad to us

wundayatta's avatar

In my case relationships tend to start on an intellectual level, and may quickly move to an emotional level, and then if sex is added soon thereafter, the relationship has a much greater chance of survival for a while. It may then add a spiritual component, and that bodes well for the future.

If the relationship misses either of the first two components and quickly moves on to sex, it hardly ever leads to a relationship that lasts very long at all. This has been rather rare in my life.

So, a relationship with a strong intellectual/emotional/spiritual connection can be cemented by sex. It can also sort of dribble away without adding the sexual component. A relationship that starts with sex rarely, if ever, adds the other important elements. A relationship without sex tends not to have staying power. There’s something about sex that makes me feel like a person has truly accepted me—it’s when I feel most open and vulnerable.

Thammuz's avatar

Depends: if it’s consensual it can’t hurt…

CMaz's avatar

Does not matter. As good as the sex is. If the connection is not there it gets old.
It just might not get old as quickly if the sex is good.

And “bad sex” can always be impproved apon if you both want to make it work.
Meaning a good connection.

seekingwolf's avatar

If it’s the wrong time for sex or one of the parties is not happy with the sex, then yes, sex can ruin a relationship.

sap82's avatar

It depends on the situation.

marinelife's avatar

Sex is but one component of a good relationship.

Good sex won’t fix a bad relationship.

Bad sex could torpedo an otherwise good relationship.

Communication regarding sex is vital to a relationship.

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

It can go either way, but either is a one way trip.

fujikohartlily's avatar

Every smart woman knows you never give it up until you absolutely can’t stand it any longer. If you give it up too soon, the man won’t value you, because he got you too easily.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@The_Compassionate_Heretic well that’s not true, the sexual dynamic can change, there can be breakthroughs

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@fujikohartlily i’ve never operated this way, all the people I’ve loved I slept with quickly and remained with for long

PandoraBoxx's avatar

It depends if there’s actually a real relationship there before the sex starts, or if the relationship is only about having sex. It’s very easy for it to degenerate into just that if there’s no real commitment.

shipwrecks's avatar

Sex too soon – before both partners are physically and emotionally ready for such a commitment – can absolutely detrimental to the relationship, and can quickly turn the relationship into a poisonous one.

Once you are in a stable and happy relationship, however, I definitely think sex can enhance a relationship. It can bring you two closer together, make you happier, and just feel better about yourselves and your relationship. Sex can be fun, passionate, silly, raunchy, rough, or a combination of any of those.

Have fun :)

prude's avatar

it depends on the sexual compatibility.

filmfann's avatar

@ChazMaz I am a man, so I don’t understand the concept. Can you explain “Bad Sex?”

carebare's avatar

Depends on how good the sex is!!!!

Clair's avatar

@fujikohartlily Although this may hold truth, smart women also stop thinking with their head and start thinking with their heart all very soon. Kinda like saying, “Dogs know better than to chase cars.” You know that dog knows better but it’s going to be head over heels for that car in about 5 minutes. (This is, of course, considering that the woman wants to have sex/is smitten.)

It totally depends on the relationship we’re referring to.

Glow's avatar

I agree with quite a lot of you, but either way, its still opinionated…

I think everyone kinda didn’t really understand the question though ^^; and thats probably my fault XD;;

I was mostly wondering if A LOT of sex can hurt a relationship rather then just simply having sex at all :P

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

great sex often can lead people to tolerate many more flaws in their partner than they normally would. Poor sex will often lead to the opposite.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Glow then let me answer again, a lot of sex doesn’t hurt my relationship but i suppose i can see that it can, but i don’t really see why it should

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

@ABoyNamedBoobs03: agreed and more

Great sex makes it easy to overlook things that may really be important but you think you can get to them or work on them later- ding! That’s a recipe for failure.

Poor sex sometimes brings out the nurturing mode to accept it, hope it will get better over time and justify it by appreciating all other things in a relationship that are great. Again, it’s going to be an issue for most people at some point. Sex is a killer of a drive and to deny it is to be made a fool.

Jeruba's avatar

It’ll ruin a friendship.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Jeruba not an inevitability

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

@Jeruba that’s by no means always the case.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

@Jeruba: I have to chime in and disagree along with the others. Having sex gets that curiousity out of the way- it’ll either work great or not. Friendship should thrive on, regardless of a foray into the flesh.

SeventhSense's avatar

I agree with Daloon..although I hate to admit it

deni's avatar

i think it depends on how soon, and the relationship. i guess its different for everyone. if you’re comfortable with them, why not? but i dont prefer it for myself. i’d rather wait. it gives you something to look forward to!

Syger's avatar

Sex for the wrong reasons can break a relationship, yes. However at the same time every situation is unique and really no one can tell you if you’re ready or not, not your partner, not your parents, not your best friend. Only you. The same obviously goes to your partner.
As for too much sex? Yeah, it’s possible but I think you’d have to intentionally try really hard to get there. Different people do have varying sex drives though so don’t be offended if your partner doesn’t want it as much as you do and don’t let them get offended if you don’t want it as much as they do. Communication between the both of you is vital to know how these things should be handled.

AlyxCaitlin's avatar

If the relationship is ready, then it can be a builder. But if it’s not, that relationship is no more

flow91's avatar

Having sex early in the relationship is handing the guy/girl what they are meant to work for. So, yes it does. The other person gets freaked out and realises, theyve gotten the movie before the trailer, and now want to move on…dont show the movie b4 the trailer lol

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@flow91 why do you think people are ‘meant to work’ for your sex? there’s no reason to place inherent value on that

rancid's avatar

Neither. Relationships never last, anyway.

LuhvKiller's avatar

I think it can ruin a new one and build as well. If you hold out it’ll make the relationship burn stronger and hotter. Plus its fun to date and imagine what the sex would be like. When it happens it better be great though lol otherwise it could be ruined LOL

derekfnord's avatar

Can sex ruin a relationship quickly or build it stronger? Yes. ;-)

It depends on the people and the relationship involved…

filmfann's avatar

Inversely, I think a relationship can really ruin the sex…

Beargyi's avatar

My girl had sex with her ex boyfriend at pastime, but she can not marry him, because she could not live at his place, her ex boyfriend get free sex from her without marry. She cannot give me sex before relationship,if i marry her i can get sex from her

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Fact from fiction, truth from diction. Everyone is bamboozled into thinking a massive amount of sex in a relationship is good. Truth be told massive amounts of sex in a relationship is terrible. In a relationship the total amount you spend in bed boinking like bunnies is really small, unless you are rich and never have to work. Most of the time is going to be spent in a non-boinking mode, and if there is no connection on a social level the relationship is DOA. If you have a strong relationship build around something other than sex, then the sex part will be very good. If not, once the sex goes cold, stale, or loses its luster the relation ship will whither like a leaf.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central you really do like using ‘boinking like bunnies’ as a phrase, don’t you? :)

SeventhSense's avatar

Everyone is bamboozled into thinking a massive amount of sex in a relationship is good. Truth be told massive amounts of sex in a relationship is terrible. In a relationship the total amount you spend in bed boinking like bunnies is really small

So that’s why the avatar you wish to portray is you feeling up your girlfriend? Forgive me if I’m confused…… the screen name makes sense.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@SeventhSense was just thinking the same thing.

SeventhSense's avatar

Yes I mean if you’re not into sex that much whatever, but why not a picture of the two of them holding hands and looking off into the sunset.
now as for you two..I have a feeling you’re a couple of bunnies. :)

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@SeventhSense you know, we’re definitely bunnies but definitely cheesy in love bunnies who boink hard

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir When bunnies do it it is more of a 2-way street. It is not like getting your stud on where the stud gets all the action and the mares wait their turn and once corked up, they are basically done.
@SeventhSense I did not say sex was not needed, but if that is all you have then you don’t have much. What are you going to do when you can’t be naked in the bed? Sit around having a staring contest. Affection to one’s mate doesn’t only come with being naked and swapping body fluids

SeventhSense's avatar

No but the avatar representation would make it appear that that is paramount in your relationship. Grabbing a woman’s breast is a highly provocative sexually charged image.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@SeventhSense Confusion solved….;-)

SeventhSense's avatar

mmm..ok…and now you’re closer to gettin’ busy….

Oxymoron's avatar

I think sex can make a relationship a lot stronger. Having sex with someone you love creates that deep bond that would not be possible with out the intimacy of sex.

Response moderated
cornbird's avatar

Sex too soon can ruin a relationship. It is important to get to know one another first and then get into it. For most people when engaging in sexual activity too soon they tend to walk off and not get into the seriousness of the relationship..if you all take a longer time to know each other, the risk of that is less.

bean's avatar

it depends… what are your intentions? sex won’t ruin anything if you truly care about eachother…

writemyselfaletter's avatar

What do you call “A LOT” of sex? Once a day? Twice? Eleven times? Once a week? I guess it would help if both agreed on what “a lot” was.

horatio's avatar

what if the person your dating is all you ever wanted in a person and the sex is bad ?? She pretty much told the guy that if the sex doesn’t improve, she will leave. My impression is that you’d rather have someone that satisfies you sexual and treat you like garbage or you are willing to work with the person not against them??? Isn’t a relationship bigger than sex? Some one reach out !!

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther