General Question

Aethelwine's avatar

Are you comfortable talking dirty to your SO?

Asked by Aethelwine (42961points) July 8th, 2009 from iPhone

My husband and I both agree that it seems kind of silly. We’ve tried but it just comes out awkwardly. no pun intended We both prefer touching when it comes to foreplay.

Do you like to talk dirty?

If not, how do you like to turn your mate on?

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39 Answers

Facade's avatar

None of that cheesy dirty talk you hear in porn, but some cursing is usually going on during sex.

Allie's avatar

When I’m with someone, I much prefer touching too. I’ve said a few things to the guy in question form before – more for the sake of anticipation than anything. Touching works so much better when it comes to getting me excited or putting me in the mood.

Dog's avatar

We leave each other messages for both the humor and intimacy on each others phone and have no problem verbalizing our desires when together.

That being said much of the time is spent not through such playful talk but is more loving and respectful.

Aethelwine's avatar

@Facade F*ck yeah. I agree with that. ;)

@Allie lurve the new avatar.

Allie's avatar

@jonsblond It’s so true too. As I type, I am in a brace and with crutches.

Mamradpivo's avatar

Yes. And I’ll continue to do so until she cleans the house.

Jude's avatar

I tend to whisper something rather sexy en Francais in her ear whilst touching. It all works.

Facade's avatar

oh la la

Corey_D's avatar

I like to use playful dirty talk sometimes.

Aethelwine's avatar

@Corey_D I see you’ve been here since March but… Welcome to Fluther! :)

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

That sort of “talk” always seemed fitting for a porn star or a prostitute. My wife is sweet, loving, charismatic, beautiful, thoughtful and kind… Screaming “take it you dirty whore, you like my c*** don’t you” just doesn’t jive with those characteristics. She deserves much better.

Grisaille's avatar

A little dirty talk whispered into ears never hurt anyone.

What’s most hilarious about this question, though, is your choice to italicize “touching” and “dirty”. It’s like you’re trying to talk dirty to the collective.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

It’s not all that our sex life is about but it does turn me on – sex is the only time I use certain words like cock or pussy and the only time I am sometimes submissive and want to hear him call me ‘bitch’ and tell him to ‘shut the fuck up’ in response. My partner used to be well ‘normal’ in terms of his sex, he’s never had good, complex sex before me and so to see him come into his own, to gain confidence, to gain aggression has been a pleasure…he’s made me so much more open and dirty talk helps along

Grisaille's avatar

But again, I come from the school of thought that sex should be fun.

We should be enjoying ourselves, making stupid comments, talking dirty – and everything in between. We should be realizing that sex is just another natural force we submit to.

Really, when it comes down to it – I’d much rather be smiling, complimenting you and laughing about how good it feels, not being super-serious and afraid that I might mess up your libido. I hate that.

Let’s fuck. Have fun, enjoy our time together. Let’s join at the hips, bump and grind.

SirBailey's avatar

It doesn’t work when the talk is deliberate. It has to come naturally.

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

Oh, don’t get me wrong with my last answer… if baby wants, baby gets… but she has been content to have sweet nothings instead of dirty somethings… if she’s happy, i’m happy. XD

Grisaille's avatar

@SirBailey You can only say “let me stick it up your ass” so many different ways.

SirBailey's avatar

@Grisaille, I SO agree. Women used to think I was nuts when I said we’d have a lot of laughs together in bed. Until they experienced it and realized I was right.

(I’m referring to the post where you say it’s fun).

Grisaille's avatar

@SirBailey Woah, slow down there, tiger. Don’t break a pelvis, now.

juwhite1's avatar

I think if dirty talk comes out awkwardly for you, then maybe it just isn’t your thing. Personally, I like to mix a little naughty in with the nice, and sometimes talking dirty is a fun and natural thing to do.

augustlan's avatar

When we are tipsy enough, but not too drunk to be successful, that’s when dirty talk comes into play. Any other time, not so much.

cookieman's avatar

Nah, we just end up cracking up. It’s impossible to take seriously.

We did try some phone sex way back when we were dating. That was fun.

Corey_D's avatar

@jonsblond thank you for the welcome. I joined along with a lot of other people from months back but I forgot about this site for a while.

Bobbilynn's avatar

I can’t help but laugh out loud! Hee hee

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

We do it when it seems right. Hell, we both swear most of the resat of the time, so swearing in bed (or talking dirty if that’s what you want to call it) has its place as well.

krose1223's avatar

I was always very quiet during sex before I met my SO. He likes to talk during sex. Dirty talk, sweet romantic talk, all of it turns him on. It took me quite some time to get used to, but now I like it. Alcohol definitely makes the dirty talking easier. I just feel like I am a very awkward person, too clumsy and silly to be sexy. So I usually lean more toward intimate sweet talk. :)

kevbo's avatar

I used to do it more than I do now.

I’ve heard it’s common for long term couples to scale back after awhile, because it becomes less and less comfortable to get dirty with someone that you have come to know as a whole, complex
person whom you love on many levels. (Something like that anyway.) It’s easier to do with someone who is newer.

OpryLeigh's avatar

I agree with @Facade anything that is said during our time together comes out naturally rather than being “staged”. We sometimes send each other dirty messages but they are always laced with humour as well as being a bit sexy. It’s all very relaxed.

Grisaille's avatar

@Leanne1986 You have sex with Facade…?!

OpryLeigh's avatar

@Grisaille Haha…ok, that’s not what I meant and I only realised how it sounded when you commented! I meant anything said between my partner (who is not Facade) and I. D’oh!

Grisaille's avatar

@Leanne1986 Too late. The image is already in my head.


phil196662's avatar

Now that the Wife and I have a Teen Daughter we don’t have to curb all of the dirty talk but it gets real wild when it’s at Full throttle!

pranali's avatar

When a couple is sexually engaged, the mind isn’t quite in control of itself, and sometimes innermost desires, needs and feelings get blurted out in rather earthy language. Such language is okay so long as it’s restricted between the two of them and in the bedroom.

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