General Question

cyn's avatar

What would you do if you envy your best-friend's life?

Asked by cyn (6913points) July 12th, 2009

One of my friends envies her best-friends life. She asked me for advice, but I don’t know the answer and I turned to fluther. She told me that her bff has everything she wants: guyfriends, pretty eyes, beautiful hair, the body, etc. etc.
Anyone knows what to do in this situation?

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24 Answers

applesaucemanny's avatar

just live your life, there’s only one you and you have to be comfortable with who you are

tyrantxseries's avatar

tell her to watch this

DeanV's avatar

Kill her. Only your friend can be happy.

Seriously, though, tell her that all this time she spends worrying about how her friend has such a better life could be spent working on her own self esteem. That all it really is, a matter of self perception.

SuperMouse's avatar

I would go with the old “things aren’t always what they seem” idea. From the outside this woman may appear to be sitting in butter, but on the inside everyone struggles with their own demons, their own issues, their own envy and strife. Tell her to focus on making her life exactly what she wants it to be and stop comparing herself to other people.

tadpole's avatar

copy her….

or to be serious, copy bits of her , develop her own style in other areas, and most of all Don’t Worry About It because everyone is different, everyone has different strengths and weaknesses, and wanting too much to be like someone else will make her insecure and halt her own development of the fantastic person she already is and is becoming….and in a year’s time she might have changed her mind…..always try to concentrate on yourself because other people often disappoint in the end….and only you really know best what is good for You….and keep smiling if you can!!

tadpole's avatar

@tyrantxseries nice film recommendation….and great example if what can go wrong :-) should make anyone think twice about the potential mess….!!

cyn's avatar

@dverhey both of them are my friends….

DeanV's avatar

Simple. Eeny eeny miney mo. One or the other!

That was a joke anyway. Unless you interpreted it differently. Supermouse gave good advice here. Listen to her.

cyn's avatar

Thanks so much…

SuperMouse's avatar

@dverhey before I cut it out in editing, my post ended with “or what @dverhey said.”

DeanV's avatar

I feel honored…

EntitY's avatar

Advise your friend to admire her friend…

tadpole's avatar

@EntitY i admire your answer….

skfinkel's avatar

Try and figure out what I have going for me, and learn to love myself. Poof, no more jealousy.

lilgiraffe's avatar

Well since he/she’s my best friend it would be a kind of wistful envy – where I acknowledge that he/she deserves what he/she has, and I’m happy for that. It would probably motivate me to find my own path to creating the life that I love as well.

wundayatta's avatar

Envy is a fact of life. It’s petty, venal, and so terribly, terribly human. Look, we’re not supposed to envy other people’s lives, but the truth is that we see each other as models, and we are always comparing ourselves to others in our lives. When we find ourselves lacking, and it doesn’t seem fair, we turn green.

Well, life ain’t fair, and whining isn’t going to get you anywhere. If you are envious, then set yourself a goal, and get off your butt and achieve that goal. Otherwise, stop whining to me.

irocktheworld's avatar

just be yourself and like i say live your life and let it rock!! :)

kheredia's avatar

Your friend obviously has some self esteem problems if all she envies is your other friends looks. She needs to look at herself and see all the beautiful things that she possesses instead of wanting to look like somebody else. I posted a question regarding this topic yesterday but in my case I envy one of my friends because she has the career that I wanted, the perfect house, and a beautiful family. I feel perfectly happy with what I look like. Looking at my friends life has only opened my eyes to what I really want out of life and I’ve determined myself to get what I want.

Unfortunately, your friend does not envy a career or a family that isn’t hers, she envies somebody else’s looks and I don’t see how she’ll be able to come up with a solution to this until she starts to see her own physical beauty.

PandoraBoxx's avatar

She should tell her friend that she thinks she has a good life, and that she wishes she had some of characteristics she envies. Talking aloud about things has a way of putting them in the right perspective. Perhaps there are things about the friend that can be emulated.

sydaustralia's avatar

@tadpole, this girl..should NOT copy her….just sayin’ (; she should be who she really and truly is…and not become someone she is not. (;

cyn's avatar

nicely put…
only this girl has to know that she is beautiful inside and outside

tadpole's avatar

@sydaustralia isn’t that what i said? allowing for a slight case of keeping up with the Joneses, which most of us get from to time, especially when younger….

CMaz's avatar

Slap her in the face, tell her to get a life.

bluegirl's avatar

the definition of a friend is someone that you admire…someone you look up to. Not someone you envy. (Ask her how much her friendship is worth to her, because the more envy there is, the worse things will get.)

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