General Question

gilgamesh's avatar

Is it just me that whenever I talk to someone and they disregard what I'm saying to them, I take it as a sign of disrespect?

Asked by gilgamesh (227points) July 12th, 2009

Whenever I talk with anyone, I do my best to give them my attention, in the hopes they will be respectful and listen to me for whatever matter. Now, it seems that I’ve come across some people who for some reason just dont listen to me when I talk to them. They exhibit the behaviors of looking away, not taking much interest in the coversation,etc. It really ticks me off and I get frustrated and only then when I assert that they are being rude, they get angry, criticizing me with more zeal than earlier. It just seems that these people isolate me in their conversations. Is it my paranoia? How do I deal with these people without being so frustrated?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

17 Answers

ShanEnri's avatar

No, it isn’t just you! It is disrespectful! I would deal with them by not saying a word to them! They’ll notice more than likely and when they ask you, well just tell them how you feel and maybe that will work! It worked for my aunt once anyway!

Facade's avatar

Don’t converse with such people. I’m sure plenty of others would be glad to talk with you

DominicX's avatar

I can’t stand it. Luckily, I don’t know too many people who do this, but I have had it happen. I’ll be talking to them and I’m just completely ignored. I really hate it. My usual response is to repeat myself until they listen to me; it usually works. I always give them my attention, so why can’t they do the same for me?

gilgamesh's avatar

For some reason, I feel compelled to try to talk with these people. They seem to take my attention for some reason. As you probably can see, I am a talkative person and it just doesnt bode well that some people act this way. I feel a bad knot in my stomach with the tensions of frustration.

Cardinal's avatar

Sorry…......what did you say?

Nefily's avatar

When people do this to me it entirely diminishes any respect I had for them. I do not like to converse with people who act like I am a complete waste of time. I just totally avoid those types of people.

BBSDTfamily's avatar

They may be bored with the topic of conversation.

TheCreative's avatar

I hate when this happens! Everyone does it these days! Sometimes they just talk in the middle of your sentence and act as if you weren’t even talking. They don’t do this on purpose either, it’s almost as if they have a very small attention span and it really bothers me. Even when what they are saying is extremely boring I pay attention. UGGH thinking about it makes me mad.

Aethelwine's avatar

I’m a quiet person so this happens to me all the time. You just learn to ignore it. If they don’t care about what you say, they aren’t worth your time.

dannyc's avatar

Watch some old Rodney Dangerfield on YouTube and have a laugh about it. He got no respect too and made a fortune on it.

YARNLADY's avatar

If these people really matter to you, do a lot more listening and a lot less talking. That usually works.

Saturated_Brain's avatar

Oh yes it sucks. I should know. I’ve been at both the giving and receiving end of it… Can’t say I feel good knowing that I did it to someone…

JLeslie's avatar

A mid-southerner told me about three months ago that when someone asks her a question she doesn’t want to answer she changes the topic. I bring up she was a mid-southerner, because SHE presented it as though it is a southern tradition. It is rude and passive aggressive in my book. She acts like she simply did not hear the statement. Or, maybe you mean people who are just not focused on what you are saying, that is awful also.

Jack_Haas's avatar

Happened to me a lot when I was young because some older business people didn’t think a much younger pro could have anything interesting to say. But there were plenty of other older business people who judged me based on the quality of my insights and the depth of my analysis.

What I did was easy: I stopped paying attention to the dismissive ones, acted like they didn’t even exist, and did the very best to show the ones who accepted me as an equal that they were right. Which meant speaking maybe a bit less, paying more attention and making sure to always have something worthy to say.

f4a's avatar

Maybe they take you for granted. those people who do not listen to other people but they themselves are far more talkative and ask for your full attention when they are talking could be self-centered. try to tell them that they are being self-centered and not giving the same attention as you do when you are the one listening to them. If they still ignore this, or couldn’t change their habits, try to stop listening when they are the one talking. That way they’ll realize how selfish it is not to listen. Why should you care, if they do not care about you? If they need a listener, it shouldn’t be you.

Harp's avatar

We’re forgetting how to focus our attention fully on one thing for any length of time. It’s the inevitable outcome of the mediatized world we live in, with its constant barrage of competing sensory input. The norm now is to half-listen to one stream of input while simultaneously scanning the horizons for some other interesting nugget.

When you’re dealing with someone like this, the best strategy is to keep the conversation interactive so they remain engaged. Avoid monologues, because they’re simply not capable of staying tuned into your channel for more than a few seconds.. Ask questions. Solicit input. Demonstrate interest in their views. Keep the exchanges succinct and to the point. This may simply be how their mind works.

Supacase's avatar

It is rude. My mom and husband both do it to me. I was honestly starting to think it was something about me so I asked my mom and she said it is because she has trained herself to ignore my dad, who could talk to a fencepost for a day. My husband gets irritated if I bring it up, but I think he has some sort of ADD. Seriously.

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther