General Question

jonsblond's avatar

What is the best way to renew your vows?

Asked by jonsblond (43441points) July 13th, 2009 from iPhone

Has anyone done this?

Blondesjon and I have discussed this for some time and we would really like to do this. We have been married for 17 years and are ready to start a new chapter of our life.

We aren’t religious but would need someone to officiate and we would prefer the month of October. (we love the harvest moon)

Where do we begin?

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17 Answers

eponymoushipster's avatar

I’d find an Elvis impersonator, to start, who can perform the ceremony. seriously.

if you’re gonna go for round two, might as well go big.

Darwin's avatar

That, I think, is a highly personal choice. Perhaps whatever you choose should relate not only to the 17 years you’ve had, but also the years you expect to have in the future.

We are thinking about something like that ourselves, since we will hit 20 years in December. So far, all we’ve come up with is getting new rings (mine disappeared and my husband’s has gotten mashed from hard work). In our case, the original officiant worried greatly that things would never last between us, so it is tempting to get him to officiate again.

Otherwise, it should involve good food and good friends.

jonsblond's avatar

@Darwin Jon’s ring got mashed at work too. New rings are first priority!

Bluefreedom's avatar

You could hire me to do it and for free too. I look very convincing when I dress up as a Justice of the Peace. I can act the part too if the mood is right. If you’d like to invite Elvis @eponymoushipster, that would be fine also. =)

Bluefreedom's avatar

@eponymoushipster. I think you would do perfectly in that role. :-)

rooeytoo's avatar

I volunteer to be the flower girl well woman actually!

chelseababyy's avatar

Bridesmaid who drinks just a wee bit too much, mmhm, that’s me. you can count me in.

chelseababyy's avatar

Find a quiet park, something with nice scenery, the falling leaves, a lake or stream maybe.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Whatever really suits you and your partner. You know best. Close friends around you. New vows. Your children there, maybe they can say something as well. Choreograph a skit with all of them, videotape and show to everyone at the ceremony. Congratulations.

marinelife's avatar

Think about what kind of ceremony you want either repeating or in contrast to your first one.

What role would you like your kids to play in the ceremony?

Do you want just family and close friends or a big splashy party?

Or do the two of you need time away for a second honeymoon or the honeymoon you never had? Barefoot on a beach?

There are so many possibilities, and the right way is the way that would make you two happiest.

Wonderful News. October is a perfect month. Hugs (please don’t scream—see other thread) to one of my favorite Fluther couples.

jonsblond's avatar

Great suggestions everyone. Thank you!

I do have another question. Would we really need someone to officiate the ceremony? Do you know of anyone that has done this before? When we do this it would probably just involve our children, maybe a few friends, somewhere outside.

@Marina Thank you! I’ll take that hug. :)

wundayatta's avatar

You don’t need anyone to officiate. In fact, I think it would be better if you wrote your own vows, and spoke them to each other. It’s kind of like you’ve grown up in your marriage and you don’t need some officiant to tell you what to do. You are now responsible for yourselves.

We have close friends who did this. They invited a lot of friends and family, and had a nice party afterwards. They did have an officiant, but it was someone they knew through their religion, which is pretty important to them. They wrote their own vows, and didn’t even tell each other what they were going to say. The officiant served as a kind of master of ceremonies, but didn’t add her own opinions or admonitions or whatever. They did it in an outdoor sculpture garden, and hired a band, and it was all a lot of fun.

jonsblond's avatar

@daloon This is exactly what I was hoping to hear. Thank you!

You’re hired @Bluefreedom. We also have a wedding singer, flower woman and bridesmaid. Jon and I are set!

eponymoushipster's avatar

“oh yes it’s Ladies Night…Ladies Night…ohwhatanight…oh..what..a…night!

Darwin's avatar

One of my brother’s friends wrote off to get one of those mail-order minister certificates, and he acted as the M.C. at theirs. My SIL is Greek, so they had bouzouki players, lots of food and drink, and a nice brick wall on which to smash plates and glasses. One of their artistic friends gathered up the broken bits of china and made them a very nice frame with them.

dabbler's avatar

I like @wundayatta‘s take on it, you don’t really need an official (no papers to sign), but maybe a master-of-ceremony to introduce the occasion to the assembled friends and family, and to keep things rolling.

The most important part of the process, as with the original marriage ceremony, is to make public commitments to each other and have the people who are important to you (and your God if he/she/it is important to you) witness that.

Writing your own vows adds some real ooomph to your intention.

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