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jdogg's avatar

My best friend truly hates his mother and wants to emancipate her (not his dad though) or he wants his dad to have sole custody of him (they are not divorced) can this happen?

Asked by jdogg (871points) July 14th, 2009

I don’t need any information on how to make this relationship to work because it won’t. I need to find a way for his mother to have no control of him whatsoever and have his dad be his legal guardian. He also does not want to inherit her debt either so is there anyway about dealing that? Here is the story behind it (if it helps). His mom is very immature and throws things when she gets mad, and she takes money that he has earned from his job, she takes his computer and looks up pornography and he got a virus from it. She is verbaly abusive to him and his dad is doing whatever he can to keep peace.

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16 Answers

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jdogg's avatar

fluther is a site for solutions, if you don’t have one don’t post a answer, and it says in the description that the relationship won’t work so i don’t think hes going to “get over it”

filmfann's avatar

Can’t happen.
He would have to emancipate himself from BOTH parents. The Judge would have to rule he is adult enough to take care of himself. You can’t do that with one parent.

westy81585's avatar

@jdogg Get over it, meaning, get over it and live with it for however few years til the age of 18. Trust me, it’s not a big deal. And even IF you took it to court with a lawyer and he emancipated himself, he’ll probably be over the age of 18 before the case even finishes (they can take a few years).

And my advice was pretty clear…. talk to a lawyer.

jdogg's avatar

well i think hes found a much better solution as for the money and laptop, he wants to get a safe so the problem is partway solved

EmpressPixie's avatar

For the money, he should open a bank account. And deposit the money within. As a child, he may need a parent to co-sign for the account (he may not, he’s probably old enough). If he does—get his father to do it. If not, then let neither parent co-sign. Following this he should get direct deposit if possible, but if not always take a trip to the bank on his way home from work after being paid. The money will either be in his wallet as cash or in his account. She can steal the cash. She cannot steal from his account.

He should password protect his computer.

Beyond that, tough it out. He’ll be of age soon enough and—as has been pointed out—he would have to leave both parents if he got emancipated.

chelseababyy's avatar

I have knowledge in this field! Woot!

First Question: How old is your friend.

Second Question: Are the parents divorced?

Third Question: Is it just verbal abuse, or is it physical as well this is critical!

jdogg's avatar

not physical that i know of, but she does brake stuff of his and screams at him until he signs in on his laptop….1st he is going to turn 16 in august… 2nd no they are not…3rd like i said no physical that i know of just verbal and the occasional throwing something across the room…

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

As mentioned before if his parents aren’t separated he can’t have custody removed only from his mother. If he still wants to be emancipated he needs to contact a lawyer, depending on his age(the lowest I’ve ever seen is 14, but that rarely ever happens), and if she’s physically violent, and how much he makes at his job, etc. it’ll go to court if his parents fight it(sounds like the mother would), if they don’t it’ll be more of a situation where the judge is just trying to figure out if the boy can financially support himself or that he has an alternate place of residence etc.
If he doesn’t want to go through all that I suggest him getting a therapist if he starts to struggle with it more down the road, and perhaps getting his relatives aware of the situation, it could help to have them support his concerns.

chelseababyy's avatar

What @ABoyNamedBoobs03 said is greatness.

But anyway, he has to be able to support himself, get a job, apartment, and still go to school I would hope. He should definitely seek help aka therapy. I went through stuff with my mom and she was physically abusive.. that was from when I was 13–17 and I couldn’t get emancipated. However, under the circumstances, my mother was served with paperwork and I was put in custody of other family members. However, that didn’t last too long. My mom and my grandma (who I was in custody of) went back to court, and my mom had to get anger management and she was not allowed to use corporal punishment in the home any longer. She agreed although she did not follow through, and I had to stick it out until the end of High School until I was kicked out for finally standing up to her. It was hard to put up with, but I did it because I had to and there was nothing else I could have done. My mom would talk to family services before I did, and tell them that I was a genealogical liar, just so they wouldn’t believe me, which they didn’t. It was hard times, but when you have other family members and coping skills, it makes it a lot easier.

Your friend should talk to counselors at school and see what they recommend.

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

Your friend might consider talking with his dad and arranging a consultation with an attorney if they are serious about this course of action.

Judi's avatar

It sounds like he needs to get child protective services involved. If his Dad is not protecting him, the state needs to.

christine215's avatar

@Judi, I was reading through this and thinking the same thing… either child protective services or try to find a Child Advocate in his local municipality, and no it won’t take years for an emancipation to be processed, they tend to get ‘kids’ in really bad situations removed from them as quickly as they can (in our state anyhow)

no he cannot be emancipated from one parent and not the other, however if he can show the judge that he has the ability to care for himself (get a job, line up a place to live etc) plus be able to document the abuse that he’s been subjected to, then he’d have a chance of the judge granting the emancipation

galileogirl's avatar

Since he said his parents aren’t divorced they are either separated or together.

If separated, Dad could go to court and seek full custody effectively taking Mom out of the picture.

If together, how could it possibly work? Emancipation means cutting economic ties and a married couple shares assets, so if Dad supports him, half the money Dad spends is legally Mom’s. And if it’s any kind of marriage they would still talk to each other about decisions.

A lot of the problem as stated has to do with his perception of his parents’ relationship and how ‘bad’ Mom is abusive to ‘good’ Dad. When it comes to their relationship tell him MYOB. Only they can change it.

Finally, children cannot inherit their parent’s debt. When someone dies,their estate (what they owned in life), must be sold to pay their personal debt. When that money is gone, so is any residual debt. The only problem is commingled funds so never share assets unless married.

cyn's avatar

Why won’t the dad divorce the damn lady?!

jdogg's avatar

i have know idea

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