General Question

daniel89x's avatar

How do I comfort my girlfriend and show her that I care?

Asked by daniel89x (280points) January 6th, 2008 from iPhone

How should I act? What should I say? What can I do when I’m not with her?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

9 Answers

Poser's avatar

It all depends.

For what does she need comforting?

Have you done something wrong, or is she—rationally or irrationally—discomforted due to some reason outside your (or her) control?

Bri_L's avatar

Comfort her about your relationship? Her job? Her family? Her looks? In the end, if you don’t really know, you can just reassure her of what you do know, how you feel, hat you can and will do if she needs you. Let her know you want to help if she has concerns but want to respect her privacy. And last but not least, not to fear talking to you.

Dont under estimate surprises like ice cream and cleaning her kitchen either.

evander's avatar

A lot of comforting is just listening. Oftentimes people just want a space to let down their guard and be vulnerable to share their insecurities and worries. I like when my partner asks me regularly how I am doing and how my day went; she’ll be sincerely interested and ask followup questions. She won’t analyze every detail for me and give me “answers,” but she gives me the space in the conversation to do so myself. I try to reciprocate. Just by actively listening, the weight of one’s worries and problems seems shared and more manageable.

Spargett's avatar

Sincerly listen. Then act based on things you hear.

Coffee_mom's avatar

I am still of the mind to ask why she needs comforted? And what have you done already to attempt to provide said comfort.. that seems to not be working? Is this is scenario where she is just dealing with issues and needs to know you will always be there for her? Did you do something to lose trust? Did something happen that trust was lost? Comfort comes from trust received as well as what measures you take. But also, if she has issues that will keep her from receiving the comfort and the measures taken, I would think she would need to work on that.. not you. Just looking at it from a slightly different perspective.

nerfmissile's avatar

Is your girl the only one with needs in your relationship? Do you pay for everything and input 100% of the energy while she keeps you guessing and working harder and harder to prove yourself capable of feeding her relentless hunger for security and related “needs”?

The healthiest thing to do might be to ask yourself what your needs are, and then find a mature and capable mate who doesn’t waste your time by being an energy vampire.

The only “comforts” this life provides are self-originating and temporary. Just because your girl refuses to wake up to this fact doesn’t make it your fault—use your imagination and don’t let getting sucked into her void of needs and insecurity become the story of your life.

sampatrick's avatar

To show how much you care for her, to make her still feel special when you are not around her, you can send her gifts, pamper her with flowers, make her smile with cards and so on. Kiss Day is coming soon in April. Celebrate the day to make her feel like a princess.

Response moderated (Unhelpful)
Response moderated (Unhelpful)

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther