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casheroo's avatar

What would be a good way to tell the expecting grandparents?

Asked by casheroo (18106points) July 22nd, 2009

Yes, there is something in the Fluther water…watch out ladies! I’m pregnant along with at least two (or three) other flutherer’s! and we’re all due close together, crazy!

Now, here’s the dilemma…how do we tell my parents?

I wish it could be a joyous occasion for them, but things aren’t very financially stable for my husband and I recently. We have just moved in with them, planned on it to save money for a year…and then my husband lost his job, so we haven’t really been saving, just making ends meet. I lost my job as well, and am having difficulty finding a new one. Also, I am in school, and hopeful to start a nursing program in Fall 2010…my plans will not be deferred because of the new Winter baby.

Should we tell them in a fun way? I told my husband by going to his work and dressing our son in a big brother tshirt my husband took a little while to catch on…I had to point it out. haha.
Or, should this be a sit down and talk about it sort of thing? Be rational and let them know school is not going on the backburner this time, and that my husband will be getting a night job.

Oh, and here’s pictures of baby casheroo #2

looks like a blob to me, the head is on the right

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58 Answers

robmandu's avatar

Yay!!! Congrats, @casheroo!

We sat ours down to show them the “latest home video” we’d made. And up came the ultrasound video. That was pretty cool.

eponymoushipster's avatar

congrats @casheroo!! woot woot!

I like what you did with the tshirt, though i don’t know if grandparents would find that as clever. maybe send a funny card about being old, and inside write “what’s it feel like to be grandparents TWICE OVER?” or somethng to that effect.

again, awesome, congrats!

Dog's avatar

CONGRATS! I love how you told your Husband- clever.
We never planned on the twins and it was not ideal timing but
the surprise kids are awesome!

Be happy when you tell them- they will be taking cues from you on reaction
and enthusiasm is contagious.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

I don’t know if you’d want to do this or not, but when my daughter told us, she wrapped the positive preganancy stick up in a box & wrapped it. (It was at Christmas time).

Congrats to you. :-)

RareDenver's avatar

@robmandu when you said you sat them down to show them the “latest home video” we’d made you had me worried for a moment ;-)

Frankie's avatar

My mom likes to tell the story of how she told her parents she and my dad were expecting their first, my older sister. She invited them to dinner, and at the end of the dinner she gave her dad a gift: a bottle of Old Grandad whiskey. I’m planning on doing that whenever I start my own family and hopefully make it some kind of family tradition!

casheroo's avatar

@eponymoushipster I still have the sticks from my positives with Cash…I don’t even know where they are lol

Aethelwine's avatar

I know you are worried about their reaction but I’m sure that they will be excited for you. I would do it as soon as possible so you can quit worrying and start planning. A big happy Congratulations to you Cash! I’m so happy for you. now pass that water over here!

eponymoushipster's avatar

@casheroo but you didn’t “regift” them. lol

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@eponymoushipster LOLLLLLLL, listen, they tried for two years to get pregnant, so it was the best gift we could have gotten. There, again, you’re not a woman. We know you’re pretty squeemish on stuff like that, haha. That’s okay.

asmonet's avatar

I have no advice.
But fuckin’ yay!

sakura's avatar

Hey congratulations on your new blob ; 0 ) I hope all goes well for you! I would sit down with them and say Muuum Daaad You know we LURVE you… and well… you know you love us and your grandchild heaps… do you think you have some room in your heart for a little more lurve??
How how about a bit more for this little new addition?? (Show scan!)

It worked for us with our first!! (well apart from the your grandchild bit coz it was out first!)

Good Luck xxx and CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS again :)

JLeslie's avatar

My experience has been that grandparents love being grandparents! I’m guessing they will be excited—don’t worry. Even though you have hit a difficult patch with your careers, sounds like you are doing everything you can to get back on track, that is something to be proud of, and it is wonderful you have family to help you during this tough time. I think they will be happy.

ubersiren's avatar

Hooray! My husband and I both just asked our parents if they’d like to be grandparents. Everyone was surprised but happy, except my very negative mother who said, “Well, if you’re already pregnant, I guess there’s nothing I can do about it.”

Anyway, you are in such a sticky spot, I don’t know what I’d say. Maybe you can do a combination of lighthearted and serious. Maybe say something witty, then judge by their reaction. Most likely they will be thrilled, don’t you think? Everyone loves a new grandbaby! Except my mom, who is a bitter old hag. But forget her! Anyway, then you tell them you know this creates some new challenges and you’re free to talk with them about it whenever they want.

casheroo's avatar

@ubersiren lol, my mother isn’t very fond of children…only her grandchildren, so we’re hoping she is okay with it. She was okay when I told them about Cash (I was 20 and freaking out at the time) I just fear they may feel we’re taking advantage of them or something. I don’t want them to feel that way.

So, I told my brother first….he sort of laughed and just said “They’re going to freak out. Don’t tell them when I’m here” oy!

eponymoushipster's avatar

@casheroo that’s what i’d tell my sister too….

Dr_C's avatar

@casheroo grandbabies are grandbabies… your parent’s are going to be thrilled… the living situation was always a temporary plan anyway… just till you guys get back on your feet. I’m sure your mom and dad would love to have a new addition to the family.

To quote @asmonet: “fuckin’ yay!”

Bri_L's avatar

Congratulations!!!!!

what about a dual picture frame with the big brother picture in one side and the ultra sound picture in the other?

BBSDTfamily's avatar

First of all, CONGRATS! Glad I can tell you in public now! :)

A fun way that I wish I would have told my parents would be to give them a framed picture of the sonogram wrapped as a gift. This could be the ice breaker, and then tell them how serious you are about making sure you take on extra responsibilities so they won’t be inconvenienced. Show them how happy you two are about it, and no way could they try to bring you down if they love you both.

BBSDTfamily's avatar

Oh, and don’t let this spoil your pregancy glow, girl! Make sure you are happy no matter what anyone says. You don’t owe them an explanation for deciding to have a child with your husband!

janbb's avatar

I think i would go the sit down and serious talk route under the circumstances. Chances are they’ll be happy, but I think it would be considerate to acknowledge that you understand the diffculties in the situation.

Mazel tov! I’m sure things will work out great for you.

chyna's avatar

No new ideas here, but a hearty Congratulations is in order.

cyndyh's avatar

For our first the discussion went like this. “I know you’re just getting over turning 40 and feeling like you’re getting old. Well, now you’re going to be a grandpa so you better get over that soon.” :^>

I think they’ll be happy for you as long as you let them know what your plans are and how this does or doesn’t change them. You are asking a lot of them, and I think you do owe them an explanation since they’re helping to support you right now. But in the end they’ll be happy for you. Cheers!

cak's avatar

You know, my parents were less than thrilled when I told them I was pregnant with my son. They were scared, I almost died with my first one. I sat my mom down, we talked and I just told her very without dancing around it, “I’m pregnant. I’m happy about it and for now, things are going great.” My mom, “Oh shit.” I poured her a glass of wine. I had a rough one, again – but have a beautiful 6 year old son and we’re doing okay.

All you really can do is tell them. Let them know that it wasn’t exactly the best timing, but things will work out, they always do. Somehow, as parents, when we are struggling, we pull it together. Understand that they might not be completely thrilled, but you know in the long run, they will be happy. Allow them the shock, then start moving it to a positive situation.

Congratulations! I wish you a happy and healthy pregnancy. The baby doesn’t look like a blob! Almost like a jelly!

eponymoushipster's avatar

@cak i was thinking jelly bean.

chyna's avatar

@eponymoushipster @cak All those pictures look alike to me. I can’t make heads or tails out of them. Get it? tails, jelly fish.. I crack myself up.

cak's avatar

@eponymoushipster yep…jelly bean I see it!

@chyna I want what you are sniffing!

chyna's avatar

@cak sorry, extremely bored.

eponymoushipster's avatar

@chyna you’re on a jelly roll! <ba dum dum>

cak's avatar

snort!

tiffyandthewall's avatar

congratulations!!! i am really excited for you. baby casheroo number two is going to be beautiful, as your first already is!
i don’t have any advice, but i’m just kind of really excited.

La_chica_gomela's avatar

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR JELLY BEAN!!

casheroo's avatar

jelly bean? love it! I’m not sure if I should refer to the baby as “jelly bean” or “paco”! (paco is from @macbean)

robmandu's avatar

we called ours “the burrito”

casheroo's avatar

@robmandu that is cute! we called the first “sunshine” oor “tapeworm”

eponymoushipster's avatar

@casheroo “change” or “debit card” (debit card is the same as cash)

casheroo's avatar

@eponymoushipster do you know how many times we’ve heard that joke? ;)

cak's avatar

we called ours the baby burrito, after he was born. All swaddled (hubby did a great job!), looked like a baby burrito.

eponymoushipster's avatar

@casheroo i know, we’ve talked about it. but i figured you’d prefer to hear it from an associate, who you know was telling the joke in the sense of ribbing the mom-to-be. :)

Likeradar's avatar

Yay!!! Congrats Cash!

I would flat out tell them without any of the joking

Resonantscythe's avatar

@RareDenver Oh, God, I wish I could give that double lurve

@casheroo Show them this scene And then say “you notice how the guy said not again?”

I mean, that is how you give birth, right? I think that’s what they showed us in my junior high.

Seriously though, anytime I’ve been in a serious situation it’s been better left that way.

La_chica_gomela's avatar

I agree with @Likeradar. Maybe you could make a special dinner, a family favorite dessert or something and tell them you and DH have some good news.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

congratulations – there are so many things going on in your life that I identify with – the anxiety, the financial issues, the living with parents, the wanting to go to school…stay strong, good luck

casheroo's avatar

@Resonantscythe Yes, I appreciate that little clip. I’m sure it had some resemblance to how my husband felt ;) you know, once the joy came bursting through haha

ShanEnri's avatar

First off CONGRATS!!!! Second, looks like a peanut, a casheroo peanut?!—jkjk—I was in the same boat as you except for the schooling. I just told them. No matter how you tell it, if they’re upset about it, they’re still gonna be upset. However if they’re happy about it, they’ll be happy no matter what spin you put on it.

elijah's avatar

Congratulations!!!! Don’t worry about your parents, no matter what concerns they have now in the long run they will love the baby as much as they love Cash! Don’t stress. Just tell them. No act or presentation. Just straight out tell them. Let them know it will not stop you from continuing school. It’s not that much more to feed one more mouth. You already have all the baby stuff you will need.

casheroo's avatar

Update: I am now 12 weeks and while in the car with my mother who was badgering me about having more children, I blurted our that I am pregnant.
She was shocked, but is super excited to be a grandmother again! She was raving about it when we got to the shore with extended family, and all my extended family is very excited.
I was all worried for nothing!
Tomorrow we’re making a big announcement to my husbands side of the family. A going away party for his Aunt and birthday for his grandmother…so everyone will be there.
My husbands mother knows already, and is very happy for us. She and my mother both dote on me when pregnant, so it’s nice :)
Oh, and we get to see the jelly bean on Monday!!!

Dog's avatar

Awesome!

eponymoushipster's avatar

@casheroo woot woot! Remember “Bucky” is a damn fine name for any jellybean, male or female.

sakura's avatar

@casheroo yipee the goods news can be spread far and wide, I hope all goes well with your pregnancy and your bump grows with style! Have fun looking at your jelly bean xxx Post us another link :)

cak's avatar

Wonderful news!

Aethelwine's avatar

Congratulations! I was just thinking about this the other day. Enjoy this time with your family. I’m so happy for you!

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