Have you ever experienced the following fear (please read details)?

Long story short (and as many of you may know now) I have a number of mental health problems. Seperation anxiety, generalised anxiety, paranoia and depression (caused by everything I have just mentioned). I used to be medication for these problems but took myself off of it because I didn’t think I needed it. Recently I have come to realise the REAL reason I decided not to take the medication. I am afraid of false happiness/peace of mind.

It’s like when you drink a fair amount of alcohol and you feel blissful (before you get so drunk that you upchuck before falling asleep in the bath!!!). You’re happy but you know it’s the drink that is making you happy and not real, genuine happiness.

All I want from life is some peace of mind but I want it to be real and not just because I have taken a little pill too make me feel that way.

Please, someone say they understand this because I KNOW I need help (either through going back on medication or therapy or something) but I can’t bear the idea that the happiness I may feel during that help won’t be real.