What is it like to experience the death of a partner?

This will obviously be a very hard thing to discuss, but I’m interested in knowing how it feels to lose the closest person to you through death.

- Does it differ from losing a close family member or friend? In what way?
– If it was a sudden death, such as a car accident, were you filled with regret about the quality of the your last interactions before the death?
– Do you think it would be harder to lose a partner suddenly or after a long illness?
– Did you desire to start a new life with a new partner after the death of your previous partner?
– Did you wish you had died first?
– Was it difficult to function normally? If so, for how long?
– Did people treat you differently, as if the death was such an awful subject, they did not know how to approach it?