General Question

xgunther's avatar

My grandfather just passed away. What can I expect with my grandma?

Asked by xgunther (446points) January 13th, 2008 from iPhone

she is handling it pretty well so far. Are there stages she’s going to go through?

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4 Answers

sjg102379's avatar

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross proposed the 5 stages of grief (in sequential order, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) but there is criticism of her work that says that it’s too rigid and not individualistic enough. Basically, everyone experience grief differently. Your grandmother may feel all or none of these, in this sequential order or completely differently. There’s really no predicting.

tammy444's avatar

i lost my father and was good for quite a while it would be something as simple as needing him for something he would of did for me that would set me off in tears,but mostly everyone will suffer in private my grandmother did.just be there for her and keep her company.

vanguardian's avatar

first of all my condolences…

Usually elders will mourn privately & it is good to let out. Just be there for her and don’t be afraid to talk about it with her. Ask her if she’s ok and if you can do anything for her. If you live close, I’m sure she would like the company. The funeral will be very hard for her if you haven’t had it yet. Like I said she will put on a good face and mourn in private, most likely. So again, just be there for her or at least check in with phone calls. It never hurts to talk and cry about the good times you’ve all shared with him. Sorry for your loss.

lifeflame's avatar

Agree – just be there for her, and also let her know that she is important and needed.

My grandmother (father’s side) had a stroke a few years before she died, so my grandfather just spent all day looking after her. And suddenly, when she died, he suddenly had all this time on his hands and didn’t know what to do—he had defined himself so much as a caretaker.

So be there with her, keep your grandma company, let her know how important she is to you and your family, and make sure she has a social network in place. Friends and family can never replace a lifelong spouse, but at least, it can keep one connected and going when things get rough.

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