I have to wonder what Dr J would look like sporting a pair of these? Maybe if I get a sticker, I’ll invest in a set and put the sticker right on top.
Alright, if that didn’t make you laugh, I have to resort to some jokes.
The world’s 2 stupidest hunters were in the woods one day when one of them bagged a trophy buck. So one says to the other, “you grab one of his hind legs and I’ll grab the other, and we’ll drag it back to the truck.” They agree, and start dragging it, but of course being a 19 point buck, the antlers kept hanging up in the trees and the weeds and the grass. Another hunter hears them making a bunch of noise and comes up to them and says, “you know guys, if you drag the buck by the horns, it will be a hell of a lot easier.” So, they decide this is a pretty good idea. Each hunter grabs one antler and they start to drag the deer. Some time later, one hunter says to the other, “I’m glad we ran into that guy, this way is a LOT easier.” And the other hunter says, “yeah, but when we switched sides I could see the truck, now we’re over 7 miles away.”
OK, one more, this one a bit more off color, hope you’re up for it. A young man is both broke and horny, so he asks around and one of his buddies tells him about a place where a guy can get laid regardless of how little money he’s got. So, he goes there and asks the proprietor what he can get for five bucks. The guy says, well, we’ve got this room where there’s porn on the TV and a lubed up chicken. You can sort of watch the TV and go to town on the chicken. Now this guy was just that desperate, so he goes into the room, looks at the TV and grabs the chicken and has sex with it. He leaves satisfied enough that a month later when he’s even more broke and even more horny, he goes to the place again. This time he asks what he can get for a buck. He leads the guy to this room with a long wall with a bunch of holes drilled at eye level. He says, for a buck you get 20 minutes looking through that hole and you can pleasure yourself or not, up to you. So, he looks through the hole and he sees two incredibly beautiful lesbians having sex. It doesn’t take him long to drop his pants and pleasure himself. When he’s done, he cleans off, pulls up his pants and looks to the guy next to him and says, “wow, that was great.” To which the guy next to him replies, “you should have been here LAST month, some guy was in there fucking a chicken.”
And I’ll close with a story. One night my dad and some of my uncles were playing cards and drinking Windsor Cokes and snacking on pickles. The pickles and the Coke ran out at the same time, leaving half a bottle of Windsor and half a bottle of pickle juice. Well, no one really wanted to drink the Windsor straight, but my dad had what he thought was a great idea. He’d mix the pickle juice with the Windsor…sounded like a good idea while he was drunk. He drank the jar down even though it tasted awful, because he didn’t want to let on to the other guys that he’d made a horrible mistake…you know…standard macho bullshit. But it didn’t sit well, and suddenly he had to run outside and puke his guts out. Well, he ran outside in full view of the other guys, they had been sitting at a table which was sitting up against a wall of windows, so they got to sit back and enjoy the show. I say the show, because whomever owned the house they were drinking at also owned 2 large Siberian Huskies, both outdoor dogs. And these dogs were apparently hungry. Wherever my dad crawled to, 2 dogs trailed close behind him, scarfing up the mess. The idea of which of course made him even sicker, and every time he felt like maybe he would be able to stop himself, he’d see the dogs and it would set him off again. Meanwhile the other guys were sitting at the table laughing their asses off.
If that doesn’t earn me the sticker, let me know, I can keep trying….
Composing members:
0
