General Question

Eleanor's avatar

What's the best way to break up with someone?

Asked by Eleanor (49points) January 14th, 2008

This is purely for kicks, but if you could break up with someone in the most awesome way possible, how would you do it? Or, if you have broken up with someone in an epic way then feel free to share! =)

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10 Answers

kevbo's avatar

I heard a good one from the Robin/Robyn woman who is/was Howard Stern’s compadre. She stripped down, prepared a grand-slam-as-in-Denny’s-esque breakfast for her man and let him eat it off her stomach. When he was done, she told him that they were done and to get out.

El_Cadejo's avatar

well i heard a story about a guy who had something epically tragic happen i dont know if its real or fake but anyway. Guy was real sick and his girlfriend came over and had baked his favorite cookies for him and left him a tape then went home. So the guy sits down on his couch to eat the cookies and watch his movie. The video turns out to be a home sex tape of his girlfriend giving oral to another guy. The guy finishes in her mouth and she then spits it into a bowl containing the cookie dough for his cookies and looks into the camera and simple says “We’re done.”

sorry if that offended anyone.

Breefield's avatar

Whoa, that’s deep.

kevbo's avatar

I forgot another one, not quite to the question. A buddy of mine had tried on an occasion or two to end his college formed relationship with his gf, but was too much of a puss when she kept coming back. So, he decided to sign a 6 month contract to work on a small cruise ship (inter-coastal waterway deal). He figured he was going to be about as gone as one can get for 6 months and that would lead to an end to the relationship. A couple of weeks later, she signs up to work on the same ship! He was already locked into his contract, so there wasn’t much he could do. He survived the 6 months, but they didn’t break up until months later.

Breefield's avatar

Ahaha, that’s great!

Panz's avatar

Well I find it disturbing that people would want to do it in a nasty way (unless it was deserved). I think the ‘best’ way is to do it quick and honestly once you’ve decided it isn’t right for you. Don’t stretch things out once your mind is made up as it is only detrimental to both of you.

If someone had cheated on you, then the best way to get them back would be to film them talking filthy or doing something rude and then copy it and send it to their parents to show them their offsprings dark side lol.

Eleanor's avatar

Yeah, but sometimes it’s just fun to “imagine” breaking up with someone so badly they turn gay. Or something equally as awesome. It’s for kicks. Unless the person truly deserved it for whatever reason that may be.

gailcalled's avatar

I get no kick out of this question, nor do I find gratuitous cruelty awesome – meaning filled with awe – or epic. There is enough misery everywhere. Why compound it, even in one’s imagination (no need to use quotation marks, BTW.)

And do you consider “turning” gay a punishment? How old are you? Get a grip. Behavior that debases either party is not
fun in any way, shape or manner.

Eleanor's avatar

I really didn’t mean for this question to be offensive for anyone. It’s just that all the time I hear of both men and women talking of ways they’d wish they’d broken up with past boyfriends girlfriends. It’s something that lets us joke about what hurt us in the past. The best medicine is laughter.

gailcalled's avatar

True, Eleanor, laughter does cure but fantasy is different than reality. Have all the fantasies you want; stick sharp pins into effigies, but note that the funniest, most original and subtlest comedians are self-deprecating and laugh at their own frailties. (Woody Allen, Jerry S. David Foster Wallace, for example.)

We all know, I am sure, people who say cruel things to others and then shrug it off with “I was only joking.“That, of course, allows you to say the most offensive things you want with impunity, except for the pain you cause your victim.

And I also understand that if you are the breakee and not the breaker-upper (you know what I mean), it does hurt. And your question implied a real situation, not a day-dream.

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