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What do you say when someone turns you down for a date?

Asked by aprilsimnel (30749points) August 16th, 2009

Inspired by some of the responses to this question.

I was brought up to believe by various adults that decent women did not ask men on dates under any circumstances, lest she be perceived as desperate, sexually loose and unfit for marriage. Obviously, the days of believing such tripe about a woman are long past for many people in Western society. I don’t know about other cultures in this regard.

I have only asked out a man for coffee once, early on during college. He turned me down as he had just admitted to himself that he was gay. He took off too quickly for me to say anything in response. Alas.

At some point, I suppose I’ll probably have to risk asking a man or twenty out, but I have been hesitant mainly because I don’t want to make a fool of myself in showing my disappointment when I’m rejected. Not that I’m not a fantastic woman, but I’m sure I’m not every man’s cuppa and will be turned down a few times. It’s only been recently that I’ve done any mental and emotional work in believing that there is no man I’m interested in who is “above my station” or “out of my league”, so my education continues.

No one has ever told me what you’re supposed to say when a man I’d like to get to know says, “No thanks.” How do you excuse yourself? Do you excuse yourself? What next? How do you let the man know, “Aw, shucks. :( Hey, no hard feelings, though.”

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