General Question

Haffi112's avatar

How do I make my brother clean our car?

Asked by Haffi112 (232points) August 31st, 2009

Me and my twin brother share a car together. He has a girlfriend and sometimes they go out to buy ice-cream or something together. Anyways, they never seem to clean up their mess and it’s breaking my balls.

Last time I cleaned the car I found some rotten ice-cream leftovers under one seat. There were melted caramels in the cup-holders (which I don’t dare to touch) and the car smelled like shit.

I decided to wait for him to clean it but every time it annoys me to the point that I clean it myself. It also annoys me that every time I mention it to him that he should clean the car he goes ape-shit on me and starts shouting about that the car is clean enough to drive it. He then starts to argue that he doesn’t have time to clean it but every night he just plays video games for 3–4 hours and often then I mention it to him to clean the car but he doesn’t bother.

This is driving me crazy, what should I do about it?

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27 Answers

ubersiren's avatar

Try to cut a deal with him. Tell him that one month, you’ll clean out the car, but the next month it’s his turn. Offer to go first. Or, make some quality time of it. Ask if he’d like to clean the car out together, then you’ll take him out for a burger or something. If he doesn’t want to, then start playing dirty. Leave your trash in there until he can’t stand it anymore. And leave him with absolutely no gas. Those together could start infringing on his relationship with his girlfriend, which is usually a breaking point.

Haffi112's avatar

I’ve tried making deals with him like you suggest but he seems to be immune to it. Bailing every time he’s supposed to clean the car.

I’ve thought about taking a dump in a bag and leaving it in the trunk and see what he will do.

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

my two cents. Either turn the car into a danger zone, make it intolerable to him, but when he asks you to clean it say it doesn’t bother you.

Or kidnap his girlfriend and hold her for ransom…

asmonet's avatar

Is the car in your name? His? Parents?

He clearly doesn’t deserve the privilege of driving it. Work on that.

rebbel's avatar

Leave some icecream-leftovers on his keyboard and some melted caramels on his mouse.
That’ll teach him.

Haffi112's avatar

This is my car but he bought 50% share in it (which I regret because he’s driving his girlfriend around all the time).

I’ve had a discussion about this with my parents but they don’t want to be involved. I think I’ll try your plan @rebbel.

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

@Haffi112 splitting a car with your brother was your first problem. lol never share anything with a male sibling if you don’t want it destroyed…

Haffi112's avatar

@ABoyNamedBoobs03 Lol I’ll keep that in mind! XD

OreetCocker's avatar

Curl one off on his gf’s side of the car when you know ur not gonna use it! That should solve ur problem ;-)

mcbealer's avatar

take pictures/videos of the mess in the car and post them to his twitter/myspace/yourspace/facebook/whatever with the caption “your car fired you for being a complete slob”

Haffi112's avatar

Haha great answers, @mcbealer I love yours!

YARNLADY's avatar

Buy your share back from him and ban him from your car forever.

P.S. I have the same problem with my Son and his wife, but I decided not to do anything about it. It’s not worth all the hassle of arguing and getting mad. I simply don’t have enough energy left in me to fight anymore. It’s clean it myself or live with it, so I decided to live with it.

Darwin's avatar

At gun point? That may be the only way.

Otherwise, save like mad and buy out his half. Then change the locks and get new keys.

Supacase's avatar

50% share = 50% care. A car is a purchase that requires upkeep. It isn’t a free ride after the initial investment. Maybe he’ll make a deal like you clean it and he pays you $15 or you take on the responsibility of keeping it clean and he pays for insurance.

Truthfully, though, I don’t think reasoning with him is going to work. He seems selfish. Ultimately, you need to buy him out. I must be in a super bitchy mood today, but your parents have some culpability in his lack of consideration and sense of responsibility and they should get involved, IMO.

PerryDolia's avatar

Your problem is you don’t have any leverage to create consequences for your brother. He acts as he wishes, doesn’t do his half, and there is nothing you can do about it.

Secondly, you don’t have any agreement on what constitutes a “clean car” or an “acceptable car.” Even if you struck a deal now, I doubt your brother would keep his side of the bargain, getting us back to consequences.

You can create the situation to your advantage by doing a couple of things. You might remove the distributor cap, and when your brother goes to drive the car tell him it is too dirty to start. Or, you might get one of the Club steering wheel locks and lock it up until he pulls his half.

He has to experience some inconvenience before he will be forced into action.

PandoraBoxx's avatar

Buy out his half of the car, and don’t let him drive it. Or make him pay for extra gas in exchange for car cleaning. Interior cleaning on a regular basis should be worth $10 each time you do it.

ubersiren's avatar

Good point @Supacase.

He bought half the car, so regardless if the mess bothers him or not, it’s half his maintenance responsibility, which includes cleaning.

Resonantscythe's avatar

If he’s your younger brother I’d say give him a fist in the teeth being an older brother myself. But that probably won’t help at your age.

I’d say do something to make him feel the discomfort you feel when in the car like @mcbealer suggested.
Then punch him in the teeth;-)

The full ownership thing sounds great. Then you could demand cleanliness in exchange for use.

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

This situation goes away when you get your own car.
A car is a very personal item. Sharing one never works out too well for reasons already stated.

srtlhill's avatar

Take the power cord to the video games. Give said cord back after car is cleaned. Repeate as needed and don’t cave. Good luck.

asmonet's avatar

@Haffi112: What are you five? If the title is in your name, and he’s disrespecting it, remove him from the equation. Don’t retaliate with more petty behavior like putting food in his things. That’s fucking childish.

Buttonstc's avatar

A few crucial questions:

In whose name is the title to the car?

How much is it worth to you to resolve this situation?

How much do you value your relationship with your brother?

If the title were in my name, I would do whatever I had to (renogitiate the bank loan, borrow from parents or wherever) to buy him out.

After you get the keys changed this solves the problem and preserves the sibling relationship.

That’s what I would do, but you have to answer those questions for yourself and decide on your priorities.

The other scenarios just prolong a state of warfare between the two of you. Yes he is being selfish and needs a lesson in reality. Needing to get his own car sooner than he wanted to should do the trick nicely.

Your parents are not to blame as someone else suggested. I presume that both he and you are adults. They raised you with values and he decided not to abide by fairness. How is that their responsibility. Once kids become adults they bear the responsibility for their own actions and decisions.

skfinkel's avatar

Buy back his half of the car. Don’t do mean and stupid things that will ruin the car and make him miserable. Just, get out of the deal. If he won’t, then let him buy it from you, and you get your own car.

And figure in any case, you have learned a very important lesson about never going into any shared venture with him.

wundayatta's avatar

My guess is that you are not identical twins, because if you were, then surely he would have the same feelings about cleanliness as you do.

It sounds like you have a passive-aggressive relationship with your brother, and that he has you intimidated a bit. I think that if he goes “ape-shit” then you have to stand up for yourself and get in his face all the time. Like a broken record. Nothing aggressive or anything like that. But just, every time you see him, “Have you cleaned our car yet?”

Little hints aren’t doing it. Maybe confrontation is not your thing. Then just make these suggestions all the time. “Please take a few moments from you video game time to clean the car. It would make it smell so much better. Why, I bet your girlfriend would appreciate it. It might even make her a little more friendly than she is, if you know what I mean.” [wink, wink]

Be a broken record. Eventually he’ll have to give in if he wants any peace.

Supacase's avatar

@Buttonstc I suggested that his parents are partially at fault for his brother’s behavior. My assumption was that they are both still minors living at home. How do we know they raised him with fairness? Maybe he has been getting away with this crap his entire life.

If they are over 18 and out of the house, then I change my stance and say the parents should not get involved.

BBSDTfamily's avatar

Is there anything that he depends on you for? Dropping off for class? Borrow clothes? Anything? If so, hold out until he cleans the car.

avvooooooo's avatar

Hide his keys, hide the video games. Tell him you’ll give both back when he cleans the car.

Better yet, hide the keys in the car in a place where he can only find them if he cleans. When you do this, make sure to get all the spare keys to the car out of somewhere where they can’t be found.

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