Social Question

Axemusica's avatar

Women, Do they kiss & tell more than men?

Asked by Axemusica (9430points) September 13th, 2009

Well, to be honest, I don’t think I am, but past partners (sexual and relationship) seem to think, I’m well endowed & that’s why I think this happens with quite a few partners I’ve had. Anyways, that’s not the point of this question.
What I’m looking to find is if women actually talk more about their sexual relations than men. It seems as though I always know when the person I’ve been “giving it to” pun intended ;) has been telling her friends. It’s quite flattering, but embarrassing at the same time. I know men for the most part are dogs and will tell about “get’n some,” but you don’t really hear details about it from a guy. Usually a guy just lets you know it happened, but do women get down with the dirty details?

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64 Answers

aphilotus's avatar

Some men are gross about kiss-and-tell. It’s more like “do unspeakable acts and brag”.

A male friend of my female friend won’t shut up to her about all the anal sex he’s been giving to some secretary, and that’s just creepy, ‘cause he’s a college student and the secretary is like 40, and my female friend is just weirded out, but he just keeps bragging every time it happens.

So I guess that’s like kiss and tell?

Axemusica's avatar

@aphilotus yes it would be and I guess I’ve just never had male friends like that, lol. Yea, I actually cringed reading about what your friend would say, lol.

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

That’s too broad of a generalization of men and women.
Many men love to gossip while many women play their cards close to the chest.

jamielynn2328's avatar

I think that men talk about it more in a bragging sense. A woman might share a few things with her closest friend, but the details, the acts, I think women are more apt to respect the bedroom as a private place.

dpworkin's avatar

One hopes that eventually both men and women grow up and knock that stupid shit off.

Beta_Orionis's avatar

@aphilotus Talk about Telephone!

aphilotus's avatar

@Beta_Orionis I kinda want to make a “Lost in Translation” joke, but that’d be a bridge too far.

cyn's avatar

I was just talking to my friend about this like 2 days ago. She told me that her brother’s friends won’t shut up about their sex life and that they go into detail and detail about it; but then again, I’m making generalizations.

Beta_Orionis's avatar

@ aphilotius you both speak English

Beta_Orionis's avatar

I’ve known some girls that get far more graphic in their sharing than the guys I’ve known, but I certainly don’t kiss and tell. It really depends on the folks, but I think, as with most things, there are more girls that get together and chat about things openly than you might imagine.

rebbel's avatar

”...and then, with my right leg bended at an 65 degree angle, my 90% erect member thrusted her for about 0.9 inches.
No, those kind of details i never discuss with my male friends.
I am not comfortable at all to talk about (my) sex with men.
My girlfriend though, claims that she does talk about intimacy with her female friends.
But more in big lines, no ‘gory’ details.

casheroo's avatar

I won’t make generalizations, but I know how I am and how my male friends have been.
I only tell my close girlfriends, but I know I used to tell things that happened to be funny..but I only give details to my best friend.
Guys I know usually find it disrespectful to talk about the details. I did have a male friend who I knew slept around quite a bit, but it never went further than him tell me he had sex with them…no need to divulge details.
And my husband, you have to pry that information out of him. He says talking about his sex life with his wife is inappropriate and no ones business. But, he does tell me stories of guys from his work, and the stories they tell him.

Beta_Orionis's avatar

@casheroo That brings up a good point. I wonder if there’s a significant difference in willingness to divulge the details between couples that are dating and engaged/married couples.

Axemusica's avatar

@Beta_Orionis Hmmm, that deserves some thought it’s self. Although it’s too late to change the question, lol. So unless new readers want to divulge the information if they or their example friend were single, dating, serious relationship or married and how long.

Beta_Orionis's avatar

@Axemusica Ja. Although it seems to be the trend to address different spin-off branches within a related question’s thread, so I thought I’d throw it out there.

Frankie's avatar

I’m sure it depends on the kind of people you hang out with…neither my friends nor I kiss and tell about our sex lives very much, unless we’re having specific issues. We don’t go around saying “OMG he’s soooo HUGE!” or “the sex is SO amazing!” us, that would just be weird. But if there’s some sort of problem, like if the guy is really selfish in bed or something along those lines, then we would talk about it, but it would be more about getting advice or talking about similar experiences and what happened, and less about being gossipy.

I for one am very private about my sex life and the inner workings of my relationships, and I guess I choose friends who are also discreet about such things. I wouldn’t be comfortable around people who talk like that and so, naturally, I don’t hang out with people like that. It just depends on the individual, I wouldn’t generalize and say one sex kisses and tells more than the other sex.

Axemusica's avatar

@Frankie I used it generally, because that’s what my personal experience is. I’ve never really had a guy friend that said more than, “she gives great head.” On the other hand, most of the women I’ve met including ones that I haven’t had sex with seem to get into detail about their sex life. I usually tell them the one’s I’m not involved with that I really don’t want to hear about it.
So people think I generalized my question, but in my opinion & experience I’m not & thus, the reason why I asked the question.
Also one of my ex’s sister has been trying to talk to me. If ya know what I mean.

gailcalled's avatar

@Axemusica: If being “well-endowed” is not the point of your question, why bring it up? A guy can have a member that is too big and thus painful; my girlfriends agree on this.

Axemusica's avatar

@gailcalled I brought it up because this is how I found out about it. My ex’s (cuz I’m not currently dating or active) have always talked to their friends about me and I’ve actually been hit on by their friends, due to them knowing my “endowment.” To add the “too big,” part that’s why I said I don’t think I am. Basically, after so many years of the this reoccurring scenario I’ve gotten curious.

bumwithablackberry's avatar

I don’t know, but generally when you hear the word “whore” you think of women.

MissAnthrope's avatar

I think the quality of the telling varies quite a bit.. men tend to brag in numbers (i.e. how hot, how long, how many times), whereas women tend to discuss everything in much greater detail. There’s a very good chance your girlfriend’s friends know how big your package is, how good you are, the types of things you do, etc. etc. Women are way dirtier than we get credit for. ;)

PandoraBoxx's avatar

I think men’s talk boils down to a form or gratitude (look how many want me/what they will let me do) versus women are more comparison oriented (size/performance compared to going solo).

The best sex has less to do with the hardware than with the psychological experience…

azhaiaziam's avatar

Women tends to get jealous of one of another.. lol.. and they like to brag about crap.. About the whole details with women.. it all depends on that person..
Same goes for men.. so I think it is fair game..

PandoraBoxx's avatar

@azhaiaziam, you must be a guy? Women don’t brag…they either analyze or are amused. Only guys brag, Women don’t need to, unless it’s about a bargain.

azhaiaziam's avatar

Lol.. they do to their closest GF’s.. and I’m a women so I would know.. we don’t go that far into details like men do..

galileogirl's avatar

I think it’s about the same. but women tell it like it was and men tell it like they wish it was.

Axemusica's avatar

@galileogirl I think it’s quite the opposite, but I’ve heard exaggerations from both parties, but I myself do not exaggerate. I hate exaggerations. I’ve actually interrupted peoples stories because of exaggerations if I was involved.

wundayatta's avatar

Since, on average, women seem to be better communicators then men, and they seem to share more intimate stuff with their girlfriends than men do with their guy friends, I think it is a reasonable guess to say that women would probably talk about the intimacies of sexual relationships more often than men do.

That having been said, some men are pretty vocal in bragging about conquests. I’m sure they also would talk about the attributes of women that they might consider sluts. However, I doubt that men, or women, would share so many intimate details about a person they are more serious about.

In the end, I’m not at all sure I could say women “kiss and tell” more often than men do. I think it is probably a different kind of conversation, but I think they share enough similarities that they are quite comparable. My guess is that the telling really depends more on the seriousness of the relationship, than it does on any proclivities to share information.

If you’re well-endowed, and if this appeals to some women who like to add notches to their bedposts, then I’m sure they’ll share the information. I think this probably says more about the kind of women you get involved with than it does about the general nature of women.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

I’m biased into thinking men give more detail and “kiss & tell” more than women.

tiffyandthewall's avatar

i’m speaking from a completely vague and experience-only perspective, but from what i gather, women tend to tell a lot to their close friends, but not much to anyone else.
guys seem a lot more open. they’ll tell their friends, and their friends’ friends’ friends’ cousins.

Axemusica's avatar

@daloon Yea, I was thinking about the type of women aspect and after opening this discussion I’ve come to realize, that I’ve been dating women that aren’t right for me. This might be the reason why I don’t want a relationship or have one.

pathfinder's avatar

The men will kiss more.The men get more pseasure from kissing than women.for has been tested

MissAnthrope's avatar

@pathfinder – Source? I don’t believe it. :)

gailcalled's avatar

@AlenaD:Pathfinder, bless his linguistic skills, is our resident language mangler. I think he takes great pride in his inventiveness.

bumwithablackberry's avatar

I haven’t kissed anyone in so long, I can’t tell.

SeventhSense's avatar

Well I’ve had women who loved me and women who hated me and I was with four women over time who had contact with one another through the same circle. One said, I heard you were a womanizer. another said I heard you were really sweet, another said, I heard things…so who knows. I think women are intrigued by a man who has piqued the interest of another woman period. And another thing I’ve found, good press, bad press, it’s all press. And I’m not surprised that bad press is sometimes better. But if a long term relationship is your goal, take my advice and learn to say no or just make good friends…which of course leads to the same dilemma- “Why does he only want to be friends?” Then you have to sleep with her. Ahhh life’s a bitch.
Women and men are as alike as cats and dogs. One will chase balls and the other can be playfully seduced with a ball of string.

Axemusica's avatar

@SeventhSense lmao. I wasn’t even planning on responding since I was eatting my breakfast, but I had to.

“Women and men are as alike as cats and dogs. One will chase balls and the other can be playfully seduced with a ball of string.” Classic, lurve!

Though, I’m in no point in my life where I feel I need to settle down. So bring on the press! lol

SeventhSense's avatar

Be careful what you wish for…it can really wreak havoc on your peace of mind.

Haleth's avatar

I’ve had really straightforward conversations with both men and women. The only difference I notice is that men usually give “positive reviews” or spin the experience into a funny story somehow. I’ve hardly ever heard a guy tell a sex story that was a lose-lose situation… so the point of the story is, either he is great in bed, or at least a funny guy. Women seem to complain about sex or go over small details more. Maybe we still hold guys more responsible for… um, success or failiure.

leduxity's avatar

Yes. Like someone said above me though, women only tell everything to a few close friends. But we get VERY descriptive, to a level boys do not – even if they talk to more people.

mclaugh's avatar

It depends on the situation for me. Sometimes I’ll tell my close friend if it’s something we’ve discussed before anything actually happened. But most of the time, I keep it to myself. Some of my female friends get pretty descriptive but it’s the same way with my guy friends too. I think it’s pretty equal.

beautifulbobby193's avatar

What happens between two people should remain their business and nobody elses. I think most guys don’t mind positive reviews going out about them, but I don’t know any who would be ok with a negative review getting around a circle of friends.

Typically I think women like to give out the more grisly details whereas a guy will usually say that either it was great or that she just lay there doing nothing. I don’t think many guys will come out with something like “the foreplay was great but when it came down to the deed it was over before it began and I couldn’t get it going again”.

BTW, the self promotion in the opening line of this discussion topic is, to put it mildly, pathetic and unnecessary.

Axemusica's avatar

@beautifulbobby193 just being honest and giving an idea of why it has always made me ponder why their friends always hit on me, but thanks for the insult. Now please go pick a fight somewhere else.

beautifulbobby193's avatar

Not picking a fight as I know nothing about you. Like you, I’m “just being honest”. Have a nice day.

Xilas's avatar

OK OK OK… im pretty damn sure girls kiss and tell..- especially if both girls think they guy is cute… or hot or whatever the hell it is that women use to describe men these days.. i thought it use to be handsome.

Axemusica's avatar

haha, it’s usually cute or hot.

or at least that’s what I’m constantly described as, heh.

Ron_C's avatar

Yes, to other women. I have been to parties with my wife’s fellow nurses. It seems that they know too much about me. I shudder to think what they say to each other in private.

SeventhSense's avatar

No beautifulbobby193 is right. Never a good idea to use blatant self promotion like that. Even it’s true or in retelling, let them do it. As soon as a woman smells this sentiment she feels as if she is a conquest and you place her as foe.
One approach needs to prop something up and the other allows the prop to support itself.

Axemusica's avatar

@SeventhSense regardless of people opinions, I didn’t say it to self promote. I said it to give context as to why I think it was happening. Geez, It’s not like I was bragging,“The name’s John shlong Von heugen dong.” why is everyone so hung up on this? What if it was the other way around? Like, I think I’m average, but my G/F seems to think it’s cute & small & so all her friends giggle when I’m around. Do women…. blah blah blah? Would you still be hung up on the reason why I thought they were speaking about it in the first place?

SeventhSense's avatar

Well the latter one is self deprecating and expresses trust and vulnerability which is very attractive to women actually. Not that size is not an issue but it’s just that men assign far more importance to this than is warranted to most women and that becomes more of an issue than size itself.

plethora's avatar

Women are absolutely blatant and detailed with other women about their sex lives. Absolutely amazes me.

Ron_C's avatar

@plethora I have been on the shitty end of that stick. Women tell other women things guys would never consider part of a conversation.

plethora's avatar

@Ron_C It’s beyond comprehension….truly!!! Never in my life have I ever told another guy anything more than I went out with so and so. Of course, women share the details of everything. And I’m not knocking women. It’s just so unheard of for a man to do that.

Ron_C's avatar

@plethora When a man has a good thing going with a woman, he tends to keep his mouth shut, why increase competition? I don’t think that women are that competetive with other women. The tell the good and the bad. I get very uncomfortable when we go to these get togethers with her fellow nurses. I notice the other guys are also aware of this feature of women’s relationships.


Women socialize more than men do, and they are also more skilled in the talking department, so yes, I think they kiss and tell more than men do. When men kiss and tell, they usually do it bluntly and coarsely, like in a locker room——women do it over lunch. Lol.

Ron_C's avatar

@MRSHINYSHOES I have been most embarassed when overhearing women’s conversation when they are not aware that I am around. I make it a point to announce myself as soon as possible to avoid hearing things that could make my head explode. I can’t believe the openess and honesty (and obscene thing) woman discuss among theselves. I’m glad I’m not a woman. I couldn’t take the pressure.

plethora's avatar

@Ron_C You and me both!!!

Coloma's avatar


Lol…No s—t…I’m here to say it IS true, and, quite frankly I, as a woman, have had enough for one lifetime myself. haha

Most recently a friend was carrying on about some stuff…I was like…‘OMG..and how OLD are you now? ” haha

Ron_C's avatar

@Coloma I have gone to hospital parties and can’t believe what some of the other nurses know about me, our sex life, everything from women that I never met. You ladies are scary.

Axemusica's avatar

At the beginning of this thread I was starting to think my assumptions were wrong, but it’s looking like it’s actually starting to confirm it. :)

HoneyBee's avatar

I never do that. Women are very comepetitive and most are back stabbers so if you go into details about how great your sex life is with your man, don’t think they won’t try to go after it when your not around because they want to experience what was so great for you. I’ve had this happen to me on more than one occassion and unless I feel very close and trust my friend, I am extremely tight-lipped. Even if you don’t say anything to them some so called friends try and go after your man when you’re done so why provoke their curiosity, especially while you are still together.
All in all a very bad idea imo.

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