Social Question

invic's avatar

Is it "scary or dangerous" for someone to know that you like them?

Asked by invic (110points) September 20th, 2009

I myself have no clue why someone would not be willing to let the person they like, to know that they like them. It makes things much easier and quicker than to leave lingering feelings and thoughts of “unrequitted” love and whatnot to the point of enfatuation and the extreme of obssesive thoughts of the said person. So why doesnt someone just go up, ask, and either get rejected or accepted? What’s the worst that could happen? Them saying “No.” Hmpth. As for if this is a rhetorical question, not so much as for reasoning of past actions of my own and select others.

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14 Answers

dpworkin's avatar

It’s scary to have strong feelings and to prepare yourself for having them dashed. Some people just don’t want to go through that.

five99one's avatar

The fear of rejection is strong in some people. If I like someone, I’ll tell them. I’m scared when I do it, because I know I might (or definitely will, in one case) get rejected; but I’d rather tell them and have resolution than not tell them and never act on my feelings. Others are happy liking someone without ever taking a chance.

Resonantscythe's avatar

The possibility that they may indeed return the feelings grants hope, it’s not the rejection so much as the loss of that hope. Either that or it can be the feeling that all that pining over someone was a waste.

chyna's avatar

To some people, having the unrequitted love, the obsessive thoughts is better than having nothing to look forward to. I don’t like putting myself out there to get my feelings shredded, so I almost always keep my feelings to myself. I have found though, through out the years, that if I had just given someone even an inkling that I was interested, they would have approached me.

jaketheripper's avatar

Also people hope that things will get better between themselves and the object of desire so they play their cards carefully

marinelife's avatar

Most people do not want to make themselves vulnerable to another person who does not reciprocate their feelings.

I think your position is healthy and the right one.

mascarraaa's avatar

Some people are truly horrified of being rejected. I mostly think that they feel like that because they would feel uncomfortable and awkward around that person, but again that doesn’t include EVERYONE

I think I’d like that person to let me know that they like me to see if we can take it to another level. :)

YARNLADY's avatar

For young people who have not yet experienced the full range of relationships and the many possible outcomes, yes, of course it is scary.

Even for people in the fullness of their lives, the thought of rejection or indifference in relationships is scary.

zephyr826's avatar

Sometimes, the infatuation is inappropriate. Infatuation with a boss, or a friend’s partner, for example. In those cases, I feel it’s better to keep it to yourself and let the feelings cool off than risk jeopardizing your relationship with the people involved.

wundayatta's avatar

I was always afraid of being laughed at or scorned, and that the person would tell everyone else, and everyone else would think I was a loser. I didn’t want others to see me being rejected. Besides which, it was always easier for me to beat my own self up than to let other people do it. Even if I thought badly about myself, I wasn’t anxious to have it be confirmed.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

They can use that information against you which will hurt you and why would one willingly subject themselves to that risk? that’s what I think that is…people don’t like taking risks.

invic's avatar

Wow,. all of your answers are quite eye opening since i have a low scope of others thoughts on the issues. And @YARNLADY,. im young, 17, thats young right? not an old man so hooray. And only one huge 2 year relationship and i learned from that but your right on, but in the end, the saying “its better to have loved and lost, then to not have loved at all,” does that imply one-sided emotions too? Going through all the hoops that one would go through by NOT being straightforward about it? im asking everyone here. looking forward to the answers XD

tiffyandthewall's avatar

i guess it depends on how much you’re interested in the person.
if you are really really attracted to someone and they totally reject you, that’s a really, really shitty feeling.

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