Social Question

jaketheripper's avatar

If you were gay, who would you come out to?

Asked by jaketheripper (2773points) September 21st, 2009

just describe the relationship and say why (e.g. my older brother…)
if you are gay just say who you actually came out to.

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43 Answers

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Likeradar's avatar

My parents, because they’re very supportive people and I’d want the first people I told to be people who would love me no matter what.

Also, my boyfriend. Cause he should know. :)

augustlan's avatar

Probably to my best friend first, then family.

AstroChuck's avatar

My boyfriend. Duh.

SheWasAll_'s avatar

My cat. Then probably my mom.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Anyone…as that’s how it goes when you’re actually gay and you don’t want to hide it

Bugabear's avatar

Anybody who cares. I mean really whats the point of telling somebody that your gay if they dont care. Its kinda like Great so what? Then I’d tell my friends and then my parents.

simone54's avatar

I would defiantly come ou….....


Nice try!

AstroChuck's avatar

@jaketheripper- Are you hitting on me?

cyn's avatar

Elton John!

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

Your very best friend.

MissAnthrope's avatar

I came out to my parents and my best friends. Then, when I felt sure of myself, I told pretty much everyone. I lived in Santa Cruz and San Francisco, so there was little fear of the general public treating me poorly.

These days, I’m pretty open about it, though if it’s a stranger, especially someone I’ll never meet again, I might be cagey about it.

Saturated_Brain's avatar

If you were gay, that’d be okay.
I mean cause hey! I’d like you anyway
Because you see
If it were me
I would feel free
To say that I was gay.

Sorry, I just had to

But to answer the question, it all depends on the situation. If you were gay, you’d most probably tell the people you trust the most. Maybe a best friend who’s more likely to understand you and accept you better than your parents. Then maybe after a while, move on to your parents.

But of course, life always differs…

Sarcasm's avatar

Meh. I wouldn’t really hold back on anyone.
My family is pretty open-minded, I don’t fear that my parents or siblings would stop talking to me or look at me negatively if I was gay.
My friends, well, we’ve already had one in the group come out as gay. The only person who seemed to not support it is now living 200 miles north.

I guess I wouldn’t really talk to my relatives about it, as far as uncles and aunts and cousins go. They don’t need to know, and I don’t know how they’d react.

But I’m not gay so it doesn’t matter!

XOIIO's avatar

Captain Sulu?

Zen's avatar

My shrink.

pathfinder's avatar

I would become a traveler or that one who is free

OpryLeigh's avatar

My best friend is gay and so I would probably talk to her about it before anyone else. She understands what it is like to “come out” to loved ones.

Jack79's avatar

I think if I were gay everybody would know about it anyway. But in terms of telling secrets (not just gay, but anything personal), I’d say my dad. He’s particularly cool and supportive about things like that. Depending on the issue of course, I might pick either my best friend or my sister (for example I did not tell my father about my family or health problems because I didn’t want him to worry about me). He actually told me once (when I was a teenager and had a couple of gay friends) that he would have no problem if I were gay, and that if I were, I should tell him.

five99one's avatar

I came out to my best friends, then other good friends, then my parents in that order. And now pretty much everyone knows. I’m very open about it. I don’t announce it when I meet someone, but if it comes up, I’ll usually mention that I’m gay. And my Facebook says I’m gay, etc.

The only situation in which I wouldn’t “come out” to someone is if I felt it would be dangerous. As in, I’m not going to tell a violent homophobe that I like men.

CMaz's avatar

I would just move away. Never letting my family or current friends know. Unless they figured it out.
But the community I moved to. Would just be me. Accept me for who I am or don’t.

Who an I kidding. Would keep it in the closet.

fireinthepriory's avatar


I came out to my friends first (not hard, since I made the right kind of friends), then my sibs, then my mom… at this point anyone who talks to me more than a few times knows I am. And probably people who I’ve never talked to know, too. I don’t try to hide it. There’s no reason for me to not come out to anyone in particular, unless I suppose I lived in one of the 29 states where you can be (legally!) fired for it. Luckily, I’m a New Englander.

wundayatta's avatar

Friends. How could there be any other answer? I mean, you’d never know for sure until you’d actually had that kind of relationship, and then you’d be out to the person you had the relationship with, right?

It’s not like, if I’m heterosexual, I tell my family, “Hey! I’m heterosexual!” So why would anyone gay do something similar?

bumwithablackberry's avatar

I don’t understand the “closet” the “coming out” the what, does something suppossed to happen? I don’t get it, Ok I’m gay, huh, nothing happened, oh hey, who are you, wow, hey guys it’s, it’s, it’s a party woohoo, hey thanks for the gold lame vest, I just love it. Ok I understand now, thanks. No seriously should I tell someone?

CMaz's avatar

There are things I do that are socially a bit extreme, and would be confusing to family members.

I find it best to share with a chosen few, if any at all. Except for the individuals that have the same interest/understanding.

I have no problem with that.

DominicX's avatar

I came out to my best friend first mostly because I knew for a fact that she wouldn’t have a problem with it and she was already asking me questions about girls I liked and I didn’t want to lie to her anymore. That was back in freshman year; it was emotional; I cried :(

But it was so liberating. I came out to my mom (though she kind of came out for me) just a couple days ago.

aprilsimnel's avatar

@DominicX – Congrats on being able to do that! It takes courage these days, still.

To the day when such courage is no longer necessary!

DominicX's avatar

@aprilsimnel @augustlan @Likeradar Thanks guys. :) It’s great to finally get that off my chest. :)

mramsey's avatar

@jaketheripper I can’t say you’d be the first to know, but you’d find out eventually. lol

In all honesty though, probably my older sister. She might judge me, but just for a little bit.

OpryLeigh's avatar

@DominicX Mothers have a habit of doing that! My mum once asked me if I “maybe had gay tendencies” and I said “most probably”.

I have been in a “straight” relationship for the past 3.5 years and am very happy with that but most people who know me (including my boyfriend) are aware that I do not consider myself 100% straight. There was no “coming out” for me, that’s just the way it’s always been. I seem to fancy girls but fal in love with men.

bumwithablackberry's avatar

What was that qoute, about being tall, we’re all a little tall.

Noel_S_Leitmotiv's avatar

When I felt the time was right i took my parents aside and announced to them I was straight.

bumwithablackberry's avatar

I heard something sort of funny, someone said coming out for me would be telling my parents I’m a Republican.

prude's avatar

well, my family and friends
but they would probably already know

berocky1's avatar

From personal experience here, I first came out to my best friend since 2nd grade, and now we are even better friends. After that, It was pretty much all my friends, and from the standpoint of a childhood in which i was extremely ridiculed, my friends were my support. I still haven’t told my parents for my own personal reasons. BUT! definitely my friends.

Violet's avatar

my boyfriend

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

My family and friends. Co workers and acquaintances would be more in the “play as we go” sphere.

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

Mostly towards my best friend that I trust verryyy much. I don’t think my parents…I think my mom’s homophobic….I don’t like that…

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