What should I do about a job that's making me physically and emotionally sick?

Quit. Life is too short for that kind of shit.
And welcome to Fluther. Lurve.

try to get another job if you can. anything. sometimes low pay jobs like serving food or pumping gas can be fun. and your boyfriend should be more supportive. you should maybe look for someone more willing to support you. but for now, sweat out the recession there maybe and look for a new job and a new boyfriend.

Maybe if the job is making your injury worse you could go on disability for a time and look to find another job? It definitely sounds like a situation you need to get out of however you can.

Quit.

Get another job, I agree with @filmfann, life is too short to spend it in misery and undoubtedly making your injury worse.

Your boyfriend will understand unless he’s a doosh. No job is worth that. Also, I suggest taking one day a week to just be. To remind yourself that you’re a human being, rather than a human doing. Don’t do any work or obligations, just enjoy life, the ones you love, whatever feeds your soul. Realize that everything around you is a gift.
Hope this helps :]

Few jobs brings happiness, mostly people work to take some money and apply it to living. If what you do is so unbearable that it’s making you physically ill and acting out to your loved ones then yes, you need to make some changes. This is the stage many people start abusing “playtime” with drinking, drugs, gambling, straying from their partners, lots of stuff to rebel against the misery of their work hours.

I say quit.

How big is the company, and what type of skills do you have? Could you apply for a different position within the company that would mean different work? The first job that I had I worked in an accounting department for an ad agency. I didn’t really like it much. What I learned doing accounting was really important to learning how to do purchasing work. From there, I moved into account service.

Before you quit, you could see if you could be moved to a different area. Chronic pain from an accident (was it work related?) is a good way to introduce the subject of working in a different area. The fact that they want to give you more responsibility would reflect that they think you’re capable. (or they’re reducing head count and consolidating work.) It’s easier to look for work from within than outside, and it’s more cost effective for a company to keep an employee than hire from outside.

I would tell you to find another job, but I can’t really be confident in that answer without knowing the whole situation. I’m sorry your boyfriend doesn’t understand, the most I can suggest is to sit down with him and tell him exactly what you told us, heck do it in a form where you’re asking him for suggestions to show him you don’t want to just live off him. Some guys like to be asked for help. Makes them feel needed or something.

I was having a hard time being unemployed, and on top of that I had a night schedule because my husband works nights. It was unbearably boring. I’ve found someone that I can just sit down and talk to for hours, and we just go back and forth with how our day has been, etc, and I’ve found that helps (I’ve also added stuff to my schedule so I actually have some things to do).

If your boyfriend isn’t be supportive, or flat out wont and wants you to suck it up (big difference between ‘we’ll get through it, suck it up’ (which is supportive so long as he uses better words than suck it up) and ‘i don’t care, suck it up’), I think you might want to think about what you’re really getting out of that relationship. You can care about someone to the ends of the earth, but that doesn’t justify staying with them if they treat you badly (the best example of someone in that situation is a mother who constantly taken for granted by their adult child).

I’d like to say the same is true with a job, but the job pays you money, and life requires money. If you’re financially stable enough, go ahead an quit, or at least ask your supervisor if you can make changes to make yourself feel better.

If you are at the point that you are so miserable that you are calling in sick and not giving your employer your all, or even your best, you need to find other employment. Trust me, the other employees have noticed and your boss has noticed. No job is worth your mental health. Maybe a minimum wage job is what you need for now as you look for employement that will best suit you.

Just quit. You’ll find another job. It’s not worth being unhappy, sick, and crabby over. I work at night too, and I always find myself very jealous of those who get to go to bed at a normal time. If you don’t like what you’re doing, then don’t take on additional responsibilities, especially for no pay. I bet if you put your two weeks in, it would feel like the weight of the world was lifted off your shoulders.

Money isn’t worth sacrificing your happiness and health.

No job is worth your health.

Spending 40 hours a week doing something you hate is not a way to spend your life. I found myself in that position once, and worried about taking a pay cut. When I couldn’t stand another day of it, I quit. The job I took instead was closer to home, closer to my daughter, more flexible, and more fun. The pay was significantly less that what I had been making, but after a few months the company raised their pay scale (particularly for employees with degrees) and I suddenly found myself making almost as much as I had been at my old job. With what I saved on gas and childcare, I actually brought home more money each pay period than I had before. I can’t even describe how much happier I was, even before the raise.

Start looking for a new job. If you make less money, you’ll find a way to adjust. Ask your boyfriend for support and patience, and show him you’re serious by finding a new job before you give notice at your current job. Good luck!

Mention all this stuff to your doctor. Nothings wrong with you, i’m just saying to do this as a strategy. Also, start calling in sick even MORE. And don’t feel bad doing it, cuz you gotta bigger plan.

Your doctor might prescribe Prozac or Paxil. That’s up to you whether you take it or not, I think those drugs are good for getting people out of negative spells, but I’ve never seen long-term usage of them help anyone, except Kirstie Alley who says they’ve helped her. Your problems are not inherent to your body/mind, though… your problems are external… the horrible job with the pointless crew and pointless goals.

So if the doc writes an RX, don’t complain, just take it, and buy the bottle. Don’t even take the crap if you don’t want, just let it accumulate on your shelf.

Every 2 months or so, go back to the doc, saying it’s getting worse. Call in sick more and more. Eventually your doc will put you on medical leave from work. So you will have time off, but still keep your benefits.

During that time off, take 7 days rest (but no more, you’ll be tempted for more, but don’t fall into that), and then start looking for more jobs. Jobs are scarce right now, thats why you need to do it this way. So you have the breathing room to conduct your search.

Or you could do it the stressful way…. just start your search now, and whenever you land an interview, call in sick that day.

That works too. Do it. Get out of your rut and change your life, but don’t do it recklessly by just quitting. You don’t need to depend on others to do this. It will work out fine, if you just do it with some focus.

Jobhunt, maybe for the same paying range..different work place or environment though or settle for a lower paying job. Make sure you at least have interviews set up before you quit. Don’t just impulse quit. Or get yourself fired and collect unemployment. :).

@Kraigmo What kind of answer is that? Work the system? Let your colleagues have to do your job while you call in sick? I must be a real sucker to care about the people I work with, even when I hate my job, and generally I care about doing a good job even when I hate my job. I always wonder how people get away with that crap.

@jwlz You are shortening your life by staying in such an unhappy stressful situation. You may not be able to quit without a job for financial reasons, but quitting should be your goal if there is no other position to transfer to at your company that will make you happier. Your boyfriend is not being supportive, and I think he is actually adding to your burden of being stuck. Hang around friends who make you feel great, find your “self” again and do what you know will make you happier. If you can stop working for a while financially it is a good time in history to do it, people won’t question too much why there is a gap on your resume. Lot’s of people are out of work.

Find another job, then quit.

I had a terrific job as a museum curator. Sure, it had its days when I wondered how long I would remain sane, but it had many, many days that were great. You need to figure out what job would make you happy, then go about making sure you have the credentials for it, and lastly apply to every such position you can find.

I found that when I worked nights I was miserable because your body never really gets used to that schedule. I switched to 2nd shift and I was okay

@JLeslie, it all depends on the kind of company she’s working for. If its a soul killing job with bright flourescent lights, screamy-pop love songs by Celine Dion and Mariah Carey blaring out through the PA system, employee-review processes that are political, and a management that is afraid of addressing and solving real problems big and small, and a workforce that makes tons of mistakes generally, causing the intelligent people to pick up the slack, and a Board of Directors that only cares about Bottom Line and nothing else… then people SHOULD call in sick more and take sick leave, and complain to their doctors…. if it really is affecting their daily mental health. Absolutely “work the system” if that’s what you call it, even though I disagree on applying that kind of phraseology to this situation.

American jobs don’t have to be soul-killing; they’re that way because of a cartel of stupidity governs most large corporations. These corporations could make a profit while at the same time making daily work a lot more relaxing.

If a corporation treats its workers extra-well, then impersonal things like “calling in sick” don’t need to occur, and do not occur, as much.

I think everyone should give a new employer or an exceptional employer, 110% of their best, and if they discover their corporation is brain-dead, ethic-less, and impossible to communicate with… then at that point, it’s fine to start slacking and calling in sick, etc. Its how a decent worker copes with a soul-less job.

How many résumés do you send out each week? How many interviews have you gone to in the past six months? It’s very easy to say “Just quit,” but unless you have at least six months’ living expenses saved up (and in this economy, I’d say you should have more like a year), you’re just volunteering for a different kind of misery.

Your boyfriend has already said he doesn’t want to support you if you’re not working. Believe him. Nothing kills a relationship faster than money issues, and if you just quit, you’re likely to be ditching your main source of income and your relationship at the same time.

@Kraigmo I see your point, I just was not happy with the method, and I am not sure if idiots who run businesses in such awful ways ever learn their lesson, because there is always someone to hire and take the job, especially in this job market. I guess that is why OSHA was invented and why unions take hold. But, I thought the OP knew she would not like it even before she said yes to the job. Do we know for sure it is the employers fault she is so miserable? Just sounds like a mismatch.

@JLeslie: if the job is making her physically sick, then what @Kraigmo outlined is a reasonable way of addressing the problem. (Except that I wouldn’t advise accepting a prescription and then not taking it—I’d advise being honest with the doctor, and saying, in essence, “No, I won’t take antidepressants, because this problem is situational, not chemical.”) But medical leave due to job-related health problems is the right way to go here.

And even if the job is a mismatch, it’s still the OP’s problem to deal with. I’ve taken jobs I knew I wouldn’t really care for before, and I was right (man O man was I right), but it still meant that I had to take the initiative to find a job I really wanted.

@cwilbur I am fine with going to the doctor for relief and documenting her stress and depression related to her circumstance. What I did not like was purposefully calling in sick when it might not have been necessary. The tone I perceived from his original answer was kind of “screw this company, you treat me like shit, I’m gonna screw you back.” maybe I misinterpreted? We still don’t know if it is really the company that sucks, or just that the OP should not be in that particular job.

Go back to school or college. Pick subjects you like and are in demand. Then select the best job for you and not get trapped in a particular job you don’t like when there are no alternatives. You whole life: never stop learning.

I’m in the “find another job, then quit” camp.

But first, try to understand what is making you so miserable a little better. You don’t want to end up in another job that is just as miserable. So, is it the work or the people that are making you miserable? Or is it your depression? Or are they all combined? In any case, what are the details of this oppression?

Once you know the details, you can design a job search. You will have specific criteria for a new job. Stick to those criteria and make sure you meet them. Don’t jump just because it’s not where you were.

Expect a job hunt to take a while, since it is hard to do it while working, but remember how badly you want to relieve your misery. Take this as an opportunity to find work that makes you happy. Don’t look at it as running from misery. Good luck!

09/23/09

I just spent the night in the emergency room with a friend who suffered a seizure on the job yesterday. Hypertension, high blood pressure, dehydration, excessive hours on his feet (12+hr days), poor sleep, poorly scheduled meals, smoking and drinking too much were the result of his job stress. Less than 35yrs old and referred to a neurologist for possible brain strokes- your sure don’t want to change jobs now?

Thank you all for your answers.

@trailsillustrated
You’re right, jobs like those can be fun. My first job was at a fast food place, and after working there for six years, I told myself I’d never do it again. But I’m actually considering it now.

@janbb
I’m not sure about disability. I mean I can work, it can just be painful at times.

@patg7590
Very good advice, thank you. I definitely need to do that. Right now, I feel as though all I ever do is work and sleep.

@GeorgeWood
I do work for a large company that employs many different positions. Applying for a different area is a great idea that I have considered, unfortunately they haven’t had any available job postings for a number of months now. My injury is from a car accident and was not work related. My supervisors have told me that the reason they want me to train for this other position is because they trust in me to be able to do the job. However, I don’t especially want more stress, considering the fact that I have no real interest in moving up in the company.

@dee1313
I guess I made my boyfriend sound kind of terrible. He really isn’t. The main reason that he thinks that I just want to stay home is because I’ve mentioned wanting to work from home (but who wouldn’t?). To some extent, I believe that he does think I should just ‘suck it up’, although he would never say that. He just thinks that I should have a job, which I should. It wouldn’t be much of an issue, but in a way, he kind of already supports me financially. We live together and he pays almost all of the bills. I pay for everything for myself, buy most of the groceries, and pay a few bills once in a while when I can. My boyfriend doesn’t like me working nights either, as we have complete opposite schedules, and he says that he will support whatever choice I make. I guess I just don’t exactly feel like he really means it.

@Kraigmo
You were scarily accurate in your workplace description…it depicts where I work very well. And as you said, I feel that in the past, I have given my employer 110%. Even though I continue to try to do so, it’s just become very difficult to do that now.

@JLeslie
You do make a good point, in that I did say I didn’t think I’d like this job to begin with. However, for a long time, I did end up liking it a lot more than I thought I would. I take my job very seriously and don’t call in sick when I just don’t feel like going to work that day. I call in sick when I feel sick (or in pain) and I don’t feel like I can do my job well. Which just happens to be more frequently lately. For the most part, my supervisors and coworkers are easy to get along with and I don’t really have a problem with anyone. So I wouldn’t say that the way I feel is my employers fault, but I don’t think it’s my fault either. The only reason that I’m unhappy with my employers is for being singled out and forced to do an additional job that I do not want. I’ll admit that it’s probably a little bit of both…job mismatch and problems within the company.

@cwilbur
You are exactly correct. I know that in order to fix the problem, I need to get out there and do something about it and find something else before I quit. What you said about the antidepressants is right, as well. I am depressed and I know that a doctor would want to prescribe medication, but I don’t just want to cover up the problem. Like I said before, I want to fix it.

@mattbrowne
I would absolutely love to go back to school and it is something I’ve been thinking about. Trapped is exactly the way I feel and it would definitely help.

@daloon
I think it is a combination of those things. I honestly think the night shift hours are a huge part of it. When I first got the job, I was sick all the time and I’ve never really felt the same since I’ve been working there.

@hungryhungryhortence
This is exactly the kind of thing that I’m worried about. I’m 29 and have more medical problems than I should, many since taking this job. Some are work related, others aren’t. But I do feel like I stress too much and this does have an affect on my health.
By the way, I hope your friend is doing well.

@jwlz I did not mean to imply at all that you were calling in sick when you didn’t need to, I was just respondong to what @Kraigmo gave as advice. I empathize with you. I went through a bad year at an employer I worked for for 8 years. I stuck with it and eventually things got better again. But, I will say this in my old age, I’m 41 lol, I am less tolerant of feeling abused at work, and as soon as I feel like I need a xanax everyday, I don’t go to the doctor I either talk to the company or quit. Talking to the company might mean you have to be ready to quit though, there is a risk, but sometimes it means they see you are at the end of your rope and they change things. I have no idea what your situation would be. Good luck, I hope your situation gets better whatever you decide :).