Relationship advice about a guy who's a "flip-flopper"?

Trust your gut. You have intuition for a reason. Don’t talk yourself into something with your head that your instinct tells you is wrong.

@pdworkin gawwd you’re right. haha I feel like I have been talking myself into it. Thanks (:

Re read your question and pretend someone was asking you. I think you’ve already answered your own question.

If its hard for you to be with someone who can’t make up their mind, then don’t. Don’t purposely make life hard for yourself.

@AlyxCaitlin “Should I try out a relationship and tell him it’s not working?”....
Hmmmm. I think you know the answer to this question. He tells you all your ideas suck?? Geez. He sounds like a waste of time to me. I know it’s easier said than done, but you need to run away from that. You deserve BETTER!!!

@Judi is right. If a friend came to you and said exactly what you told us, what would you say?

Here’s what I would say…
Don’t fall for his bullshit. If you really are into this dude for whatever reason, keep him as a friend. If he shows you through his words and actions that he’s a good guy, then reconsider his status in your life. But give it time- a lot of time. The chances are good that he’s subconsciously hoping you’re a sucker. Don’t prove him right.

If the only issue was his on again off again fear of commitment I would tell you to give him the benefit of the doubt.

However you lightly touched on a much more serious problem. He does not respect you.

He thinks your ideas are stupid and told you he was in love with someone else.

Now he wants another chance. If you give it to him be prepared to be his doormat again.

I am sure you can find someone who cherishes and respects you. Please seek out your true soul mate and forget this distraction.

@Dog I think you nailed it. :)

Thank you, you all were so helpful, LURVE FOR EVERYONE (:

Are you reffering to your question as a novel because it was “long”? I’ve seen much longer questions.

respect is the key to all relationships. If he disagrees with your ideas, that is one thing. If he tells you, depending on the importance of the idea, that can be better or worse. If he tells you rudely, however… that’s another matter entirely. Don’t get into a relationship with someone who can’t even restrain himself enough to tell you politely that he doesn’t agree with you.

@XOIIO ditto.

Don’t pay heed to what he says; judge him by his actions. Does he treat you in a way that makes you feel special and cared for, or does he make you feel down and critical about yourself? If you are not being cared for to your liking then cut the cord. There will be those who will want to treat you in ways that will make you feel loved.

It sounds like you already know what you should do. Personally, I wouldn’t waste my time on a relationship with a guy that I know isn’t good for me. It only leads to confusion and hurt feelings and you can do better than that.

I thought this was a question about footwear at first.

I was going to say stay with him, angry men don’t wear flops.

“Flip Flops make a happy sound” -some Jyter.

Why would you want to be with someone who is always criticizing you? Look. You’ve stood up for yourself about what you want, and that’s a good thing to do. A lot of women feel like they have to take what they get. Stick to your guns. What you want is important. Don’t feel like you have to give him a chance. This is your life, we’re talking about.

If you want to negotiate further with him, fine. But make sure you are clear about what you want and that he has a plan to give it to your first, or I wouldn’t get involved. Sure, love is about emotions and getting carried away. But it’s also about reality and feeling supported and loved. He may be paranoid or even mentally ill if the world is all negative for him. I’d let him fix himself before I got involved with him. It’s different than when you’ve already got something going.

I think you should really look into your heart and find out if you really want to give him a try.
The thing is, guys do not change, no matter what. So if there’s something you don’t like about him, he’s gonna have that trait for the rest of his life… the question is.. can you deal with that?
It all depends on what you really want… the thing is .. if you are asking us.. maybe deep down inside you already know it’s no good, you just want confirmation, I think. Good luck!

It’s not the flip flopping I don’t like but what you say he says about your ideas/opinions. You’ve developed emotional space between you so keep going and keep him as an acquaintance if you must but I don’t see why you’d want such a person as your friend.