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The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

Why is "closure" so important to people?

Asked by The_Compassionate_Heretic (14611points) September 30th, 2009

People have a tendency to really cling to this idea of closure as though it is essential to moving on with life.

So what do people do when they so desperately look for a “why” but there isn’t a “why” to be had?

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22 Answers

DarkScribe's avatar

It keeps the insects out?

To have something constantly on your mind, something that is “open” ended – worrying is not healthy. Once all issues have been resolved you can stop focusing on it and move on.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Hmm, an interesting question – because maybe they believe that once they get closure, they can ‘move on’ to the next phase in their life…generally people use this with relationships, romantic ones…I know I want closure with someone right now because I think it’ll help them move on, not so much me…

veronasgirl's avatar

Because we need a resolution. We need something (or someone) to let us know that it really is over, maybe it will make us feel better about the situation, maybe it won’t. But if something is unresolved we cling to it because we need to “know”, we need to have the answers.

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

@veronasgirl What if that need is an artificial one that we create for ourselves?
Answers aren’t always available and knowing why isn’t always the release we think it is.

veronasgirl's avatar

And those are the people that never “let go”, they are the people, like me, who torture themselves for years after the fact.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@The_Compassionate_Heretic besides certain things like food and water and sleep, all our needs are artificial, no?

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Many of the things we think we need, we don’t really need.

mcbealer's avatar

For me, closure doesn’t really answer “why,” it does however help me emotionally reach that pinnacle where I know that I have done everything I can to right a situation, and it’s outta my hands for the time being. I believe it also helps one resolve to forgive someone.

augustlan's avatar

Sometimes you have to adjust your definition of ‘closure’. Many people spend years looking for a certain variety of it (I know I did), only to realize that closure can be achieved in a variety of ways. Including saying, “It happened, it’s over, I need never deal with this (situation/person/feeling) again.”

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@The_Compassionate_Heretic yes but indeed you are still using the computer

dpworkin's avatar

According to the Gestalt School of Psychology, Closure is one of the organizing principles of perception in human beings (Others are the Law of Similarity, the Law of Good Continuity, the Law of Pr├Ągnance, a couple others I don’t remember) so according to that school, at least, it is an innate desire.

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir The computer is needed to communicate on Fluther but it is not a need for living.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@The_Compassionate_Heretic right, so you have your computer and I have my closure

BBSDTfamily's avatar

Closure isn’t necessarily the “why” to a situation, but just being able to let go. For some people/situations they need to know “why”, for some they need to know that the other person is okay, that they aren’t at fault, etc.

casheroo's avatar

For me, ending something needs closure. It’s just how I am. It’s essential to me being able to get over something.
I don’t understand when people don’t need closure. It baffles me.

Disc2021's avatar

I think closure is a good prescription for a trembling head. People dont “need” it, but it gives them a good incentive to just move on and finish the chapter.

My philosophy is that if you dont get – create your own. You will move on when you’re ready.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

Entitlement, we feel everything must make sense, have a reason behind it that will make us feel better somehow. I don’t believe in this. In fact, there are some things I don’t know about that I’ve kind of avoided finding out because I know there will surely be an avalanche of hurt by it I don’t want to shoulder & suffer for no gain and I don’t want it to dump on my present or my hopes for the future. I don’t feel some of these things have a right to taint what I’ve worked through on my own.

laureth's avatar

Because without closure,

mirifique's avatar

We have a tendency to enjoy compartmentalizing everything into rational, unitary structures organized in a linear fashion.

Our computers do that really well, and the more we spend with them, the more we want to be like them.

Noel_S_Leitmotiv's avatar

It’s their excuse for hanging on to the relationship.

Syger's avatar

—Well I think that closure is extremely important because—-

edit: Nevermind; Laureth beat me. :[

Personally I just like knowing how things end. If someday your best friend just went away and you had no idea why or where they went- you’d want to know what was up, wouldn’t you?

jeanna's avatar

I usually don’t end up getting closure. I hate it. I like to know why things ended, especially if I feel like I didn’t do anything wrong. It helps me grow as a person, helps me learn things about myself; it’s great to see someone else’s perception of me.

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