What's the most creative curse-phrase you've ever heard?

My roommate was having a really horrible day, everything that could possibly go wrong, did. Finally, after a day of getting caught in the pouring rain without an umbrella, missing an important meeting, stolen credit card, and so on and so forth. She stubbed her toe on the kitchen table, she shouted at the top of her lungs and blurted out: “Fudge Monkey Possum SHIT!!!!!”

I’m fond of the phrase “Knob Jockey”

My grandmother’s favorite curse was, “May you grow like an onion, with your head in the ground!”

Maybe it sounded better in Yiddish?

My exboyfriend used to say Mother Stupid a lot.

My husband rarely curses, but if you do something really disasterous on the road he will let out an “Hijo de Puta,” which is not creative, but it makes me giggle when he says it. It is the only time he uses Spanish around me (his first language). I call him Ricky sometimes afterwards.

$#!t p!$$ F*** by the mayor of NYC in the original Pelham 123.

@pdworkin Well, everything sounds funnier in Yiddish.

I refer to some of my more inept coworkers as “no-talent ass-clowns”. See the movie Office Space for more context.

I can’t think of any but so far @veronasgirl is definitely winning! GA

My very Christian mother jokingly but seriously calls my dad a “shit-ass”
I find it hilarious :)

My dad, while once unsuccessfully attempting to repain our toilet, said, “If I could get my hands on the sonofabith that invented this thing, I would stick his head down it.

We al laughed uproariously (kids and toilet humor).

Dickclown works well.

The more experimental, creative ones require context. Hell, it’s generally funnier if the person uses minimal curse words, instead opting to be visual.

For example, “I will force my fist up your ass all the way up to the elbow. I will then proceed to drop down on the floor, ripping your anus asunder, leaving a gaping hole. Think of a fireplace with the entire front end torn out.”

or “I’ll kill you so hard you’ll die to death.”

How about F.U.B.A.R. ? Anybody remember that one?

That’s a term that originated in the United States Marine Corps, along with Bohica, Snafu and – literally – hundreds others.

EDIT: Armed Forces, not Marine Corps.

A co-worker of my husband’s, talking on the phone to his soon-to-be ex-wife:

You lascivious, dog-fucking whore. (said completely deadpan)

Silflay hraka, u embleer rah!

Oh my, we now have a tie between @augustlan & @veronasgirl !

My newest favorite is: ya shottah mootah bedee el kabee. I use it on people that really, really piss me off. I’m not sure of the correct spelling, but that is the phonetic spelling.

it means your mother sucks cock in Hell in Arabic.

The most creative that I recall – rather crude – was from a Chinese colleague in Hong Kong back in the eighties. He would scream in a mock Jackie Chan voice: “I hope that your earholes turn into assholes and shit all over your shoulders…”

A girl I used to work with would always yell, “SHITonmyfather’shouse!”

My boyfriend and I were playing Russian Banker, a rather intricate card game that requires a lot of several-ply thinking and planning, and I thought I had it figured out and I touched a card and he immediately knocked me, ending my turn. he then did a ridiculously obvious move that shouldn’t have taken more than a second for me to see, and I said, “bitch-ass motherfucker” and for some reason we just about wet ourselves laughing. Now it’s the common expletive when we’re playing that game, and we laugh every time.

“asshat” and “fucking crapbag” are regulars in my vocabulary too.

I always say jeeze miss cristy

Southern friend uses: egg-sucking dog

Cuntwaffle might be the single funniest thing I have ever heard, and also the most inappropriate.

I’ ve heard two that made me laugh: “Catastro-fuck” courtesy the Daily show, and “Cock-juggling thunder-cunt” from “Blade 3.

@aphilotus: I prefer “twatwaffle” because I think the double W’s make it sound more amusing. For use of the c-word, I go for “cuntmuffin.”

I don’t know about most creative, but my old Greek boss used to call me a MALAKA

I think it basically means jerk-off. I still laugh when I think of him calling me this, while at times simultaneously hurling a piece of food at me.

A friend used to refer to my nephew (who can be selfish and dim) as Captain Fuck-Nuts.

I saw this on a t shirt:
Fuck You you fucking Fuck!

@ckinyc My husband had me so upset once that all I could blurt out was “you fuckin fucker fucker fuck!”.

My personal favourites is “Clusterfuck” which describes my life and also “the middle of butt fuck nowhere” when I asked my boyfriend where he thought we were upon getting lost.

My boyfriend also has a habit of calling bad drivers “Peckerheads” not to their faces obviously!

Also: My friend Omer uses Rhinoceros Crowd Fuck to describe when a situation goes bad. I love that one.

@cprevite , Uhhh, thats interesting, am trying to get a visual on that…Maybe I can use that!

@BluRhino: lol. It’s perfect for you.

When I watch football with my dad, he says this when the opposing team is kicking an extra point or a field goal:

“Your mother wears socks.”

to someone who screws up something bad. ” he could fuck up a steel ball”

Rat Farts!

It makes my mother disgusted and extremely unhappy when I say that in her presence.